I want to believe

Don't you think that the * is a little under the top for a person who values being up front, Chai.

I strongly agree with this. While there is a lot of superstition in the way Buddhism is practiced, it's not a necessary component. I am becoming more and more convinced that having fewer and fewer beliefs is the way to increase your happiness and peace of mind. I would not recommend adding any new beliefs. This is just based on my experience to date.

I gave your post a mercy thumb because it appears you are actually trying to help. But seriously, the differences between the beliefs of the sects you mentioned would indicate only one may be correct. And the fact there is a paid clergy with a special title other than 'speaker' gives additional suspicion.

No, I think more would be involved than just a random pick.

Well, I had to give wild4ranches a mercy thumb down to put her out of her misery.

Interspersed with the intelligence insulting advice of "Drive by a Baptist, Methodist, or Presbyterian church and get the hours of next Sunday's Services. Then time yourself driving home. Next Sunday, just pop yourself in the car, wearing jeans or a dress, and head for that church for either the early service or one later, giving yourself an extra 10 minutes." and utterly false as well as propaganda like "At the door you'll be greeted just as if you are a human! How refreshing! No preconceived notions about who you are, how much education, money, friends, religion etc. you have. " is the folksy, pssst...."I'll let you in on a little secret" only we chosen ones know.

Wow. I'll get right in my car and time the trip from my house to the nearest church. Unfortunately, I don't own jeans or dresses, so I guess I'm out.

What I really found hilarious was the reference to Mormons being a cult. Yeah, like Baptists aren't at all cult like.

What is this? Romper Room? A bake sale?