Husband is Gaslighting me

Forums: Gaslighting, Relationships, Marriage, Theft, Emotional Abuse
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This is my seocnd post about my husband but I just came across an interesting realization. I had never heard the term gaslighting before today but that is exactly what my husband has been doing to me. If I go out with my friends he will take money out of my purse once I fall asleep and the next morning he will ask me how much change I have. When I tell him how much I spent and I go to get the change out of my purse, it's gone. He says I must have dropped it because I was drunk, or I must have spent more than I thought again because I was drinking too much. He has done this at least 10 times. The last time he did it, I actually found the change that had been in my purse. It was hidden in the couch cushions where he always sits. And he still had the nerve to tell me that he didn't take it. He changed his story to he found the money outside on the ground so he brought it inside and I must have dropped it. He has also on two occasions told me that he saw me kissing another man but that I was drunk so I don't remember. I absolutely know these things are not true and after arguing with him about it for so long I began to just stop arguing and for awhile I knew in my heart that he was lying but I didn't confront him about it. Then it got to the point in January where I began questioning my sanity because I began to think, why in the world would he lie to me about this stuff? I actually am feeling very relieved and empowered after finding out today that this is a manipulation technique of emotional abusers because I am finally back to knowing 100% that my perception of reality is correct and that I'm not going crazy. My question is, has anyone else had this happen to them? Also, I want to think that my husband is a nice guy, does anyone believe it's possible that he's doing this for any reason other than to make me think I'm crazy?

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[+4] - jespah - 05/16/2014Sure there is - we discussed this in your other topic. He's got major medication interactions going on (possibly). Had he done anything even remotely like this beforehand? I recall in your other...

@caseylv,

Sure there is - we discussed this in your other topic. He's got major medication interactions going on (possibly). Had he done anything even remotely like this beforehand?

I recall in your other topic, you said he's sick of doctors. However, if he's on big time pain medication, he needs to see a doctor in order to get his prescriptions reupped. That's the time to get the info in front of a doctor that he seems to be having drug interactions. Most doctors will perform some sort of an examination, or at least will insist on him coming in, before signing off on a new round of powerful drugs.

In the meantime, push for him to go even before that. If he's still in pain, then the stuff he's taking is not only making him paranoid and hallucinatory; it's also not working to manage his pain, which is why it was prescribed for him in the first place. So see if you can get him to his primary care physician, sooner, rather than later. That is, if you want to continue hanging around at all.

PS Given all the stuff he takes, is he still operating a motor vehicle? Because someone who is seeing things (which appears to be the case here - and I must reiterate that I am no doctor) is a danger on the road, to himself and others.

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Quote:

Quote: He has done this at least 10 times

You can overlook the first few times, but if you're going to keep overlooking it, it'll mean you're as nutty as he is.. Wink

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@jespah,

He did do this before he began taking the pain meds. Many times it was him saying that we had a conversation which we never had, or if I reminded him about something that we had talked about a week or so before he would say we never talked about that and I must have said it to someone else thinking I was talking to him. Once I was cooking dinner and I had taken off my wedding ring and set it on the counter. I forgot it was there and later in the day when I went back to get it, it was gone. I looked everywhere for it and I didn't want to mention that I had "lost" it because I didn't want him to be angry. After a few days he asked where my ring was and I admitted that I didn't know, told him what had happened. For probably 4 months I was without my rings. Then my birthday came along, he "found" my rings came up with an elaborate story about how he went to a pawn shop and found a ring just like mine. I knew it was a lie because mine has a nick in it and the one he "bought" has the same exact nick. I told him later I knew he was lying but he won't admit it. I just don't want to think he is intentionally being manipualtive but that is exactly what it is.

Driving: no he doesn't drive or even own a car.

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@jespah,

100% agreement jes.

caseylv, you've got to get yourself in front of the doctors.

You can post about all the things he does, but the start of the solution is to communicate with his physicians, whether he likes it or not.

Remember in the other thread I said he's going to be mad at your for getting involved with his doctors?
Well, he will, but you can't let that stop you.

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@caseylv,

Looks like a narcistic personality disorder to me;

start researching:

two very good sites:

http://house-of-mirrors.blogspot.nl/
http://narcissists-suck.blogspot.nl/

Someone like him can really make you feel crazy and thinking blue is green en green is blue.

It's scary indeed!

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@Quehoniaomath,

Quehoniaomath wrote:

Looks like a narcistic personality disorder to me;

Are you a sufferer?

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@caseylv,

theres a powder or two that can be used to assist in "catching" him. Rhodamine B orUrnine. A teeny bit of either on a plate and then roll your coins in it (dry) . Then put them back into your coin purse and let him steal them. His hands will glow a bright pink or brilliant yellow under a LW ultraviolet bulb. Even if he washes the color he will have residual dyes and he will probably leave traces all over the place before he realizes that he needs to wash up.

Fun will be had by all , and he cant lie his way out of a good batch of forensic evidence.(Unless he gets lawyered up)

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@contrex,

of what?

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Husband is Gaslighting me

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