Gym Etiquette (aka kid vs grumpy old men)

Did you bring this up to the manager? They should have their membership immediately suspended for several months for this aggressive behavior.

were any managers on duty on the weekend? I find the weekend staff at some facilities is a bit more nervous than weekday staff as they have no managerial backup.

definitely call them and talk to them during the week - they may need to talk to weekend staff about how to deal with the grumpy old men.

if they're not willing to put a stop to it, you should stop giving them your business and find another gym...

There was no manager on duty then. There was some little small (I may have been taller than him) - customer service type guy - aka sells memberships. He did insist on taking my number and name down to have a manager call me.

I did mis-speak though one young man did offer to help me. He looked about 16 - he came up to me and said he heard what was going on and said if they don't get out soon, let me know and I will talk to him. I told him not to worry - I didn't want a minimum wage teen to have to get involved.

In my anger I did say that - after they yelled at me and claimed I had no common sense (in front of my child) -- I went out plopped her bag in front of the desk and said thats it --- if this is the way the gym is being run I will cancel my membership.

I haven't received a call yet.

I did want to get some feedback to see if I was over the top -- and maybe should let them play their game out.

But as I thought about it, there is time reserved during the weekend and on evening/afternoon for adult pick up games. Also it wouldn't be fair to those like the volley ball league who pay extra to reserve their time in the gym.

You have every right to be upset. Their bullying behavior shouldn't be tolerated regardless there was a child involved or not. One can safely assume that this wasn't an isolated incident I bet. I bet these guys have a history of doing this with other gym members but they were never called to task about their behavior and they got away with it in the past.

It sounds like you were quite reasonable - letting them finish the game they were playing when you arrived.

Hopefully a manager will be available to deal with them the next time they go in.

You and your daughter don't deserve to be treated like that by other gym members.

Hubby did say if this ever happens again to call him then and he will go and deal with them.

I don't think he likes having men make his little girl cry.

And thanks for the info - In my experiences I know being close to the situation can make you biased and in a sense protective of your child -- so being a bit biased I wanted especially before I do speak with a manager, that I am being reasonable and not a "hysterical female."

Oy.

Don't get me started about gyms.

I've had so many issues problems with them, both independant and chains like Golds, I refuse to ever join one again.

To me this sounds pretty typical on how gyms are run linkat. Quick question, have you ever had to ask the gym management or staff do anything for you before?

They don't give a crap about your happiness to be honest. In fact, they wish you'd join, pay your upfront fee, get auto drafts from your checking account, and then do every possible thing to make you avoid wanting to go there. They want you to give up and stop coming, so they can get other people to join so they can pay their membership fee, and get their monthly bank drafts. If you cancel, they'll still get your money for the last month, plus the money the new member paid.

Good luck on getting a manager to do anything. This one time, I was in the ladies room at a large gym, and realized there was toilet paper in only 1 stall. When I walk out on the floor, the manager (who was a real fake smile asshole) was actually walking by, gave me his big fake smile saying "How's it going?" while continuing to walk. I said "oh, wait a minute. The ladies room needs to have an attendant go in. There's only toilet paper in one stall." You would have thought I just gut shot him. He turned with this really nasty look on his face, and said something like "Oh? No one else has told me this." I responded "Well, yeah, that's why I'm telling you." He actually then asked me what he thought he should do about it. When I came back the next day, no toilet paper had been put in, even though I could tell some cleaner had been in there. I guess every woman who peed in there (or worse) in the meantime had just air dried, never thinking to ask or get toilet paper.

This kind of stuff was far from an isolated incident, it didn't matter what you said to anyone who worked there. In my experience, you're invisible, and subject to derision unless you're a gym rate or a 18 to 24 year old female with a hot body. If you dare complain about something, you're marked as a trouble maker.
****, I couldn't even get anyone to change a tv channel once when I was the only one facing the tv's on a dead day, and they had cartoon playing on all the channels....cartoons! One of the employees had circled the floor 3 times before I could get his attention, pretending he didn't hear me 10 feet away saying "hello....excuse me" Then (while I'm exercising one the treadmill) he tries to tell me he doesn't know how to change the station, and doesn't know where the remote is, etc. etc. Me, the old meanie, had the nerve to say "maybe you'd want to look in the office?" Then he disappeared, and 45 minutes later I still hadn't seen him. When I was leaving I saw him and asked why he never came back he said "For what?" Yeah, like you just forgot with all your pressing duties of strolling around avoiding eye contact with anyone.

From my direct observation, the staff at gyms will exert 3 or 4 times the effort to avoid doing anything, then to just go over and change a channel, put in toilet paper, or God forbid, tell another member to wipe down their machine or play half the court like you're supposed to.

Don't bother to switch gyms linkat, they are all the same. Just tell those clowns this is how the cow ate the cabbage, and they need to play a half court.

Or call my former Marine sharp shooter husband.

Now though that I have heard from the team here -- I don't feel like I am being a hard a$$ or not being within my rights to tell them to just play half court and shut the f** up. I looked up the gym schedule and there are actually 4 days out of the week where there are scheduled adult pick up basketball times. If they ever give me grief again -- I will simply say -- this is open gym time. If you want to play full court with adults only -- then you attend the time in which the court is reserved for such.

By the way -- I have not received a call yet from said manager.

Those guys?

I guarantee you they think they're all that and a bag of chips.

They play, getty sweaty, all that testosterone is pumping....yeah you wimmens, scam.

I'm not trying to stereotype, but I've had kinda scary experiences where if I had been dealing with one person, we would have just calmly talked, who knows, ending up laughing.
But if there's multiple people, in this case pumped up men, it can get a little in your face.

Don't hold your breath waiting for a phone call linkat.
If you get one, I'll eat my hat.

Well we were watching them and I laughed. They come running up for this easy layup and miss it. They were not good.

What we ended up doing was going in the aerobics room - no one was using it and I had my daughter practicing her dribbling drills. So she started to get fed up and went back to the gym - one guy told her they only need 9 more and then they would be done - not sure if he meant 9 minutes or baskets.

any way I went back and one of these guys thinking he is Mr. cool all worn out is sitting out. And while I was watching and they were stinking it up (in both ways) and ran up and made or rather missed the easy shot. I told my daughter not to hold her breath waiting for them to make baskets because they stink. They did. There was no way this bone head could not have heard me. He gave me this look.

She would have outshot them easy. We did go in when they left and one or two were nearby and you should have seen their faces as she swished one basket after another. Because she was 11 years old and so much better than these goons. Not easy layups either -- 3pointers and shot after shot from the elbows as she practiced her elbow drills.

And I told my daughter - these guys are just a bunch of wanna bees or has beens or even more likely never had been.

She asked what that meant -- wanna be -- you mean like you wanna be on the team. And I said yep exactly that.

Seriously though - should I call tomorrow if I don't hear? I was thinking (depending how crazy I am tomorrow) -- about going there in person -- I work from home, but tomorrow my other daughter is getting her braces off so I need that hour for my lunch hour.

now that a couple of the them know she got game, they may be more willing to let her have one of the baskets...

The point is, it's not that they "let" her have anything. The half court should be available to her, and they need to use the other half.

Linkat, you're smart and will do what's right.

At one time I would have pursued this,. Now, I wouldn't bother with the management and get myself in a dither. I'd just deal with this guys when they come in again directly. Hey, you may not see them for a long time, or ever.

This reminds me of what happens sometimes at the pool I go to most days. There are 3 lap lanes just for lap swimmers. If they share, 6 people can swim. The rest of the pool (the other half vertically) is free swim. However, sometimes if it's not crowded on the free swim side, a lap swimmer, if it's busy of that side, will swim up against the first lap lane, or against the other side of the pool. Hell, I do it myself. I never swim more than maybe 6 laps at a time (then I'll tread water for awhile before a few more laps), so I don't ever take an offical lap lane I want the people who are serious swimmers to have their space. I just keep an eye out to see if more people are getting in the pool. If other swimmers are lapping in the free swim area, but being reasonable and observant, I'll just stay out of their way.

Once in a while though you get what I think of as a "militant lap swimmer" who doesn't give a crap that kids, older people or just anyone is treading in the pool. I watched this one guy, he literally punched this woman in the jaw with his left arm while swimming in a crowded pool, and while I was still gasping and saying "Oh God, are you all right?!" he then encircled her friend a few feet down with his right arm and actually submerged her. On top of all that, he almost tried to act like he hadn't realized what he'd done when the lifeguard blew the whistle and gave him holy hell.

I don't take **** from that kind at all. They make a suggestion at large indicating non lap swimmers need to let them do what they want, because they are "really" swimming. The lifeguards will enforce the rules, but I'll just upfront tell that kind that I pay my property taxes just like everyone else, and belong here just like them. They just aren't expecting someone to stand up for themselves, especially if you look like a regular person, not an athelete.

On the other hand, just last week as I was getting in the water, this woman was sitting nearby and we said hi to each other. A younger swimmer was actually in the free area doing a few laps, but no biggie as there was plenty of room. I warmed up and started lapping in the free swim too. I found out the woman on the grass was the young womans mother, who had sprained her ankle. So we both waved at her (HI!).
All the the sudden I saw that woman gimp over to the lifeguard, and she was obviously complaining, but I didn't know about what. Then I saw her on the phone. Turns out she was calling the city parks and recreation dept to complain. Then, she got in the water, and I mentioned I heard she'd sprained her ankle.

She said "yes" then said "So what do you do about this?"
Me: "about what?"
Her: "ALL these people who are swimming laps in this area!"

I looked and said "no one is lapping", she said "not now, but there were before" then bitch bitch bitch.

I just said "look, I've been in the water a half an hour already, and in that time the only person doing laps on this side was your daughter. All that time you were sitting on the grass. I had no problem keeping out of her way. Those lap swimmers pay property taxes and have the same right we do to be here. We just need to be aware of each other."

She really hated that.

The thing was, she stayed in the pool a total of 5 minutes, then got out and sat around. I guess she thought the guards should make everyone within 20 yards of her keep away.

Linkat, you're trying to be accomodating. They can be the same way. You and them all pay the same gym dues and have equal access.

BTW, as relating to that other thread "The upside to aging", I feel that gives me the edge over some 20 or 30 something guys any day.

We do go there alot to practice - honestly we haven't been in the last month because AAU just started - she has 3 practices with her team a week. And then weekend tournaments. This Sunday her tournament was just a 20 minute drive and both her games were early.

The reason we went was she did not have a good second game (none of the team did - but to be fair they were playing up and against a 6th grade team - they are 5th graders). They did beat a lesser 6th grade team earlier in the morning.

Any way the state tournament is this weekend and she wanted to work on things she got wrong in that second game. She is a determined little girl and actually loves to practice. With the limited free time I have, I try to bring whenever we have time. So it wasn't like -- oh lets just go shoot hoops - she is working.

Also in the past, men, women, boys and other kids are really nice there. In the past when she is practicing some times a guy just wants to come in and shoot hoops and some other guys or kids are playing half court. I always invite them and tell them it is fine to shoot around her if they seem hestitant - most people are like that - and some of the guys (younger and older) will give her pointers or just watch and comment. I have never had a negative reaction ever before.