Paranoid

Why me? Why me??

Because you're an asshole!

Who said that?

A compliment yes?

No. Sometimes I get involved in my own little world, bitch and moan about all that goes on around me. I think not about those who suffer my constant complaints and negativity - It gets so bad that I 'm pissing people off royally. Gad, I've become an old grump.

I remember being a kid and hearing, "Hey, what do you want to be when you grow up?" I don't remember ever saying "An asshole." Still, here we are...

Things happen, things change. Within and around us. Some beyond our control. Times in lives of others where they're not sure of what's going on around them because they've suffered greatly for short and?/or long periods of time with mental problems. Possibly still suffering.

No. I don't think you're an old grump. Never thought.

When a kid, young in age living with my parents I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, to do with my life when older. as an adult. obsessed with a movie along with a tv show, I revealed. but then immediately felt I should hide the fact. Came senior year when writing what I wanted to do with my life for the yearbook I revealed, because that's what I wanted. My feelings after having written it down, I didn't feel I should hide but that to make sure it was understood, while I wrote. Felt I was sharing a piece of me. But here I am now.. still trying to understand myself, who I am. Knowing it's too late to do what I wanted to do with my life. Guess I'm seeking a lead.

PS love, if you were trying to insult me with the comment asshole.. my thoughts are, I'm not sure what this person is doing. 

Throughout my high school years I felt I should keep my hair the color blond. Yet one of the other personalities felt I honestly didn't care what I looked like. didn't. don't understand.
In elementary discovered my passion for running. having came third, first girl in a race. I then felt I should keep it to myself. The sadness within me kept me down. here I am this day.

Jack of Hearts. I will bombard you with my love until you love me. sincerely, not sarcastically. If possible will continue.
Me doing so by me sharing my words here. Knowledge is beautiful.

Just for the record, I'm here to: Laugh; learn; answer; kill time; advise; quip; joke; release steam; give attitude; take it back; pontificate; ridicule; reflect; hang out with people that I like; give it to those I don't; converse; debate; hide; kid; tease; sleaze; believe; please; love; lament; and all that jazz.

I honestly don't know who you are ma'am/sir. Do love to give a hard time. As anyone else. For me it is a way of love.

I like the game solitaire.

anonymously99. Are you aware of how many individuals are 'hacked'/'any word similar to' into your phone? Your home? Your life.
When I mention 'hacked'/'any word similar to', I'm referring to the fact of interference.

Why would anyone want to do that to me?

Well anonymously99. It must mean they are firm believers in the bible since they're watching you to make sure you are living your life by the bible/ten commandments.

Again.
Not my intent to piss one, anyone off. But damn. I did not ask for any of this ****. You're, you folks, you crazy ass interfering people are ******* me in my head.

What the hel.., what the ****'s wrong with you?

Jack of Hearts wrote:


anonymously99 wrote:
Yes, I agreeing with the fact. I AM an asshole. But dear no. I 90 - 80% of the time don't realize I'm being so. Honestly does come natural. And once I realize this I'm usually left feeling bad/horrible/else more similar to afterwards. Because I hate that in me. due to the amount of love I have within me. I love the love I have that I want to give, show. But it is as if the hatred within me dominates the love at times, various unexpected times.

I feel that's what makes me a bad, not so nice individual/person.

Perhaps you're not as bad as you think you are. (Mind you, I'm just a stranger posting in this forum.) I doubt you're any more "bad" than many other people. Even if you are bad, you can repent and learn from your mistakes. Spiritual growth is possible for those who are willing.

Needless to say, I know nothing about you; but just a cursory glance at some of your posts indicates that you may be troubled. If this is indeed so, I hope you will have happier days in your life someday.