Mention she's in a mental hell only because I don't know what else to call it, how else to say it.
She's in another world aside from this world, the real world. Reality.
She's here but she's not. She is in a different time zone. She feels. Everything always black and white. Close but far. She tries to act normal, always has. tried. Never understood, never started understanding. Until recently. In the past had always looked for a way out when times felt hard. Running from them. Everything was difficult. mentally. all her life.
She hears you but she doesn't. She sees you but she doesn't. She thinks of you. You don't know it. She sees things you may not be able. She hears things you may not. She cares for you but you may never know. She shows things you may not see. She says things you may not hear.
She's in a pitch dark, black room.
She feels love for you but she can't say she loves you, or it is difficult. If she has in the past it was for your reassurance. May in the future she never knows.
Not everyone is the same. We all were blessed with our own soul.
She feels upset with herself. for not maturing as quickly as she should had. Finally accepting the truth.
Still can't find herself.