truth of words I've mentioned

You sound anguished...and in despair.

My feelings are that there is nothing anyone here in this forum can do to help you rid yourself of whatever it is that is working on you.

You have to do it yourself...or more exactly, you have to do it yourself with the aid of competent professional help.

If you have the resources for a professional psychologist or psychiatrist...that would be the preferred way to start the journey to wholeness. If you don't...there are ministers who might be able to help you.

If drugs or booze or gambling are involved...there are organizations that offer help to people with those problems.

If any kind of suicidal thoughts are involved...there are also organizations that offer help to people with those thoughts.

(The drugs, booze, gambling, and suicidal thoughts organizations have "hot lines" that you can access through phone books...or by asking your local municipal or county offices for help in getting in touch with them. Even the police department can be of help if none of the other attempts for contact work.)

Or, if you are not comfortable with any of those suggestions...there are books that can help you understand the forces working on you. The librarian at your local library can help you access them. (That is a much, much harder path...and the first two suggestions are probably a better bet.)

Good luck with your search for help.

Wow Frank I gotta give ya credit

As I q'd somewhere else 99, it might help if you were to tell us about yourself…..

As for myself, I haltingly suggest a range of over-the-counter nostrums, the identity of which is easily determined by Googling

Eat healthy foods. Don't drink, smoke or do drugs. Exercise regularly. Hang out with good friends when possible and seek professional help if necessary. Best Wishes.

It goes deeper than that Frank Apisa.

Alcohol not for a while. Yet have abused in the past.
Suicide thoughts not since being younger in age. Inflicted pain on myself it's been a while.
I'm not a gambler nor drug abuser.
I find no interest in what I've mentioned.

I can't understand myself. Communicating with others, exchanging words with others I felt would help. By chance one would understand me as to who I am. Because I still don't understand.

Friends. Are not easy for me to find.

It's hard to find good friends. It takes luck, time and effort. If you don't have friends then start with the professionals and ask them to help you find friends.

I didn't know you had to ask people to be your friend.

I'll attempt dale.

That thing where I thought everyone was supposed to get along no matter what. Or am I a fool for considering the thought?

You say friends are not easy for you to find.

People tend to gravitate toward people who are fun to be with.

Are you fun to be around?

If not...maybe that is an area you ought to think about...which you can do without professional help.

I don't know what fun is. Something to make happy? Yeah, I don't know.

To talk about myself I don't know what there is to say about myself.

I thought to understand one was to read over one's words mentioned no matter where mentioned. Taking into consideration feelings, questions as to why what was mentioned was mentioned, if possible for one, to look at it the words, situation from a different view point. Else more that could be done.