Laws, I work with and around thousands of people daily. I can converse with all of them on point-related topics, but only a handful draw my attention to issues of genuine significance.
Are your parents religious?
The brain can promote the release of natural hallucinogens into your system (for heaps of reasons), especially under stress.
There are NO demons out there buddy - they are only in your mind.
A lot of what you do IS premeditated, because you EXPECT how you react - Alter your 'expectations'
Anti-grav does work, and is secret.
But you are unlikely to be able to obtain the materials, or generate the energy necessary to simulate it - So don't bother trying.
Autism is focal, and rarely variable, but, unless your brain is damaged, it can conquer the refocusing issue with training.