Am i turning evil?

Please stop attributing your disdain for others and your acts of violence to possible aspergers syndrome.

You obviously are in pain - but I am not picking up a real desire to change, only a desire to share your stories. Are you being provocative?

I just saw a special on the Yosemite killer. He had similar stories and feelings. He hurt people and their families. I know you don't want to do that, but you MUST find help before you hurt others or yourself.

Fella.
You need psychiatric supervision imo.
Goodluck.

Take Mark's advice. Where you appear to be heading is to establish an excuse for future behavior. It's not an uncommon trait. And it is one you can overcome.

Nah. I think you guys are way off base. Note that the primary description of violence is an incident where he was attacked first. Probably his reaction was excessive, but "responding when attacked" is far different from "attacking without provocation".

I'd guess the level of violence in his life is higher than normal, but not all that much higher than normal. And I would guess that much of the violence is due to unhappiness over social isolation. I wager that fixing the social isolation would fix the violence.

And with that in mind, last I posted I was looking for a NPR story that I had heard a long time ago. Still looking, unfortunately. I found a couple interesting stories, but not the one I'm looking for. (I haven't completed my search though.)

The title he chose for the op is reason enough to
seek help, if only for reassurance.
License, you are not a lost cause; but having majored in
psychology, I know I can't offer you much more.

Yes this is true when im attacked i always hurt the other person alot more then needed, but i do get alot of feelings of just wanting to cause pain to people only because of the loneliness and suffering that i go through.

The girl that i choked slammed i did want to kill her but i stopped myself, on another occasion i punched in a glass window and i was bleeding profusely i just wanted to die at that point. But i heard a voice say'' this is jesus i love you go get help'' and i felt loved for the first time in my life.I cant explain how loved i felt i just felt no pain when he talked none at all. I am not lieing this is what i heard whether it was just my mind or if it really was jesus is up to you guys.

I got 13 stiches and have these big scars on my wrists forever it hasnt taught me much every 6 months i have a recurring episode of violence which usually involves punching my parents walls. i have hit my dad with a cord before and ive hurt my mum by slamming a door on her wrist which broke it. I have no real life friends because people can just sense that im violent, mind you im 6'3 220 pounds and i lift weights occasionally.

Sometimes when i walk up to my room i have dejavu and i see a big guy playing videos games ,sad and lonely. I feel like a shadow and i will eventually walk down a long lonely road its my destiny i think.

Do not assign other people control over this emotion. You have to choose to become violent.

-Charles R. Swindoll