Excuse me

I have cancer
it's my excuse for everything
why I don't smile
wear hats
after khemo
why I don't take walks
to the lakefront
just to watch the sunrise

I have AIDS
it's my excuse for everything
avoiding the feel of your skin
can't look into your eyes
not able to rest my head
on your breast
syncing my thoughts
with the waves of blood
rushing through your
lullaby beating heart

I have a hobby
it's my excuse for everything
running away from a conversation
just to stare at a wall
and daydream
dreaming is my hobby
imagining posters on my walls
longing for picture frames
filled with photographic ecstasy

I have my excuses
and though
they are many
I can't figure out why
I find water
to be dry