Cemetery Heart (constructive criticism)

I feel good about this one, but uncertainty still lingers. Shed some light?


I just played rushing roulette
like art
Picasso paints my eyes uneven
bleeding

And Salvador Dali
paints my soul
rising from the brain matter
The Pineal Gland
like a masterpiece

Bukowski finds inspiration
and types my thoughts
of a mad man
drunk on the city bus
to whatever

The Scyth
to my neck