Envy

I can't speak for most of us. But I don't feel envy when I see someone do something better than I can. I may feel inspired to do better if I care about what's being done. Or I might shrug and say, OK, I'm not good at that. No big deal.

I think you might be focusing on the wrong thing. Instead of comparing yourself to others, why not just focus on yourself. Do the best you can, and stop worrying about how you compare.

Agree with Roberta. Each of us is special in different ways. If someone does better on a test than you, it doesn't necessarily mean they're smarter - maybe they just understood the questions better or had a better memory. Why worry how others are doing? Just concentrate on what you're doing and you'll save yourself a lot of grief.

Develop a more realistic view. I hope others might be more specific

I agree with Mame and Roberta and will add that we all have different brains.

I spent a lot of years wanting to be a doctor, and I enjoyed reading the history of medicine as an early teen and studying chemistry and zoology and so on in school. We also had low money as a family and I worked a lot of hours when I was at the university. Few women were admitted to any of the United States medical schools back in the very early sixties, the most usual number for the large majority of the schools being none.
But some women in some places did get into the schools, even before all the civil rights changes in the US in the mid and later sixties. I was very smart in some classes (biophysics/histology was one) and dumb as could be in a few others, and that dumbness wasn't all due to being tired.

Later the admission policies changed a great deal and near contemporary female pals were getting admitted to med and law schools. I wasn't envious, had moved on. I knew by then I'd never be a terrific surgeon (etc.) and started getting interested in art and architecture in after hours (night classes). I went back to school in those fields and excelled. Besides excelling, I was liking it all, no matter how hard I worked in the new fields, even when I was exhausted, I loved it all.

In retrospect, I should have paid attention when I liked drawing house plans at ten... but I didn't.

I'm not sorry I liked medicine first - having more than one interest in my lifetime makes my "world view" more expansive. But it turned out my brain was a happier match for my newer interests.

I also started out a pretty isolated and narrow minded young person, and by virtue of meeting people different than I was (the university was a shock, in a good way) and hearing how they thought, I got - gradually - a more encompassing view of what goes on with people.

I notice that you post about a strong bias about some people, and post about almost crippling envy of some others.

It's possible to snap out of that and think of yourself "in their shoes".
I recommend it.

Matuda:)
I've been exploring the same emotion...envy could be so strong and scary because you don't know exactly when it started..but if you recognize it,then you should act on it...you should find out why...you should ask yourself if the things you envy are really the things you want in your life...I think you are trying to find somebody to guide you,so you don't feel those fears anymore...you should belief in yourself and try to find your own path,don't rely on someone else's path..make your own footprints...and there is your freedom!do not look for approval anywhere but in yourself1

You're reply is about 3 yrs late as this was a dead thread. you might want to know that the OP is no longer an active participant in the forum.

Yeah, but I still like my response to the thread.