Oddball and Screwball Lyrics

Okay - anybody remember a song that went (I think) -
hut sut ralston on the rilliraw
and a bowl of suet, suet ??

I've got the tune in my head. Were there really songs like this when I was young?

"Your Horoscope For Today"
WEIRD AL YANKOVIC

Aquarius
There's travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus
Fill that void in your life by playing Whack-A-Mole seventeen hours a day

Pisces
Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the Ebola virus
You are the tru Lord of the Dance, no matter what those idiots at work say

Aries
The look on your face will be priceless when you find that forty pound watermelon in your colon
Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep

Taurus
You will never find tru happiness - what you gonna do, cry about it?
The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep

That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today (yay yay yay yay yay)
That's your horoscope for today

Gemini
Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulence
Your love life will run into trouble when your fiance hurls a javelin through your chest

Cancer
The position of Jupiter says you should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud
Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test

Leo
Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your boss's face, oh no
Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding, then wash it down with a gallon of strawberry Quik

Virgo
All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent - except for you
Expect a big surprise today when you wind up with your head impaled on a stick

That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today (yay yay yay yay yay)
That's your horoscope for today

Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely
that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have
a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you,
but let me give you my assurance that these forcasts and predictions
are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have
to be some kind of moron not to reaize that every single one of the is absolutely true.

Where was I?

Libra
A big promotion is just around the corner for someone much more talented that you
Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that when your appendix bursts next week

Scorpio
Get ready for an unexpected trip when you call screaming from an open window
Work a little harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak

Sagittarius
All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)
Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine you've got hanging in your den

Capricorn
The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person, but you know they're lying
If I were you, I's lock my doors and windows and never never never never never leave my house again

That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today (yay yay yay yay yay)
That's your horoscope for today

Monger

That's hilarious!

Monger

That's hilarious!

Vengaboys -- Cheekah Bow Bow

I saw you in the disco
Last night in San Francisco
The way you use your joystick
It really makes my mouse click

Come sit down on my laptop
Let's do a little hiphop
Let's go into a chatroom
And do a little boom boom

... I saw you in the disco
Last night in San Francisco
The way you used your joystick
Has really made me feel sick

The doctor checked my harddrive
A virus in my archive
My disc was not protected
And now I am infected

There was a song sung by Tommy Smothers I just loved called
"The Slither-dee-dee."

Oh the Slither-dee-dee
He came out of the sea
You may catch all the others
but you won't catch me.

Oh no you won't catch me,
You stupid ol' Slither-dee-dee!
You may catch all the others
but you won't... <SLUUUUUUUUUUURPPP!>

Mamajuana- This it?


The Hut-Sut Song
Horace Heidt
Words and music by Leo V. Killion, Ted McMichael & Jack Owens


In a town in Sweden by a stream so clear and cool
A boy would sit and fish and dream when he should have been in school.
Now, he couldn't read or write a word but happiness he found
In a little song he heard and here's how it would sound;


Hut-Sut Rawlson on the rillerah and a brawla, brawla sooit,
Hut-Sut Rawlson on the rillerah and a brawla sooit.
Hut-Sut Rawlson on the rillerah and a brawla, brawla sooit,
Hut-Sut Rawlson on the rillerah and a brawla sooit.

Now the Rawlson is a Swedish town, the rillerah is a stream.
The brawla is the boy and girl,
The Hut-Sut is their dream.

Hut-Sut Rawlson on the rillerah and a brawla, brawla sooit.
Hut-Sut Rawlson on the rillerah and a brawla sooit.

Phoenix - I about figured that one would never be found.

Not to forget Spike Jones:

THE SHEIK OF ARABY
I'm the sheik of Araby
Your love belongs to me
At night when you're asleep
Into your tent I'll creep

And the stars that shine above
Will light our way to love
You'll roam this land with me
I'm the sheik of Araby

Oh I'm the sheik of Araby
And all the women worship me
You should see them follow me around - not bad
Even wives of all the other sheiks
They beg to kiss my rosy cheeks
And that ain't bad - in fact that's good I've found - I'm a cad
When I lay down to sleep
I'm counting girls instead of sheep
From my harum I can't scare 'em out - why should I
They're beauties from all races
And some have pretty faces
I'm the sheik who knows what love is all about

Did anyone mention "Beetlebomb...??


Ooh Eee
Ooh ahh ahh
Ting tang
Walla Walla
Bing Bang

Rodney

Dahn The Plug 'Ole
A mother was bathing her baby one night
The youngest of ten, a poor little mite
The mother was fat and the baby was thin
Only a skeleton wrapped up in a kin.

The mother turned round for the soap from the rack
She weren't gone a minute, but when she got back
The baby was gone and in anguish she cried
"Oh where is my baby?" --------

The angels replied:

"Your baby has gone dahn the plug 'ole
Your baby has gone dahn the plug
The poor little thing was so skinny and thin
He should have been bathed in a jug------

Your baby is perfectly happy
He won't need no bathing no more
He's working his way through the sewers
Not lost, just gone before".

Anyone remember the Bonzo Dog Do Dah Band. English spoof rock and roll from the late 60s.


http://bridge.anglia.ac.uk/~systimk/music/Bonzos/Bonzo-Albums.Html#VeryBest


In the canyons of your mind
I will wander through your brain
To the ventricles of your heart, my dear:
I am pumping you again.
'Cross the mountains of your chest
I will stick a Union Jack.
To the forest of your cheek,
Through the holes in your string vest.

My darling, in my cardboard-coloured dreams,
cardboard-coloured dreams
Once again I hear your laugh.
And I kiss, yes I kiss, your perfumed hair:
but she's not there
The sweet essence of giraffe.
of giraffe

And each time I hear your name
frying pan, frying pan
Oh, oh, oh my my, how it hurts
he's in pain
In the wardrobe of my soul,
of my soul
In the section labelled "shirts".

I

Hi OaK -- I remember the Bonzo Dog Band!! I think I had one of their albums!!

Here's a song by Shel Silverstein.....

BOA CONSTRICTOR

I'm being eaten by a Boa Constrictor,
A Boa Constrictor,
A Boa Constrictor.
I'm being eaten by a Boa Constrictor,
And I don't like it one bit.

Whadaya know....... it's nibblin' my toe.
Oh gee....... it's up to my knee.
Oh fiddle....... it's up to my middle.
Oh heck....... it's up to my neck.
Oh dread....... it's mm-mm-mm-mm...

This is from the musical "Bandwagon"
Music by Arthur Schwartz; Lyric by Howard Dietz

TRIPLETS

Three little unexpected children
Simultaneously the doctor brought us in
you can see we'll be three forever and
A E I O You wouldn't know how agonising being triple can be
Each one is individually the victim of the clinical day (?)
E I O Every summer we go away to Baden Baden Baden
Every winter we come back home to Walla Walla Walla

We do everything alike
We look alike
We dress alike
We walk alike
We talk alike
and what is more we hate each other very much
We hate our folks
We're sick of jokes on what an art it is to tell us apart!

If one of us gets the measles
another one gets the measles
then all of us gets the measles
and mumps and grippe

How I wish I had a gun
A 'widdle' gun
It would be fun to shoot the other two and be only one!

Mrs Whifflepoofer loves to talk to Mrs Hildendorfer on the fatal natal day she had her silly Willy
Mrs Hasslepoofer loves to talk to Mrs Goldenwasser of her major operation when she had her twins
But when Mother comes along she silences the others
She accomplished something that is very rarely mothers

MGM has got a leo but Mama has got a trio
she is proud and says three is a crowd

We do everything alike
We look alike
We dress alike
We walk alike
We talk alike
and what is more we hate each other very much
We hate our folks
We're sick of jokes on what an art it is to tell us apart!

We eat the same kind of vittles
We drink the same kind of bottles
We sit in the same kind of high chair
high chair! high chair!

How I wish I had a gun
A 'widdle' gun
It would be fun to shoot the other two and be only one!

Late at night in my rural area, FM radio brings us bunker talk shows -- libertarians and constitutionalists and conspiracy theorists and anti-New-world-order folks -- and not all of them crazy -- not at all. The latest song on the anti-Bush hit parade is Spike Jones' old WWII "spit ("phhht!") at Hitler" song which they've converted into a "spit at Bush" song. Here are the original lyrics which make me laugh:

Der Fuhrer's Face

When der Fuehrer says, "We ist der master race"
We HEIL! (phhht!) HEIL! (phhht!) Right in der Fuehrer's face
Not to love Der Fuehrer is a great disgrace
So we HEIL! (phhht!) HEIL! (phhht!) Right in der Fuehrer's face
When Herr Göbbels says, "We own der world und space"
We HEIL! (phhht!) HEIL! (phhht!) Right in Herr Göring's face
When Herr Göring says they'll never bomb this place
We HEIL! (phhht!) HEIL! (phhht!) Right in Herr Göring's face

Are we not the supermen
Aryan pure supermen
Ja we ist der supermen
Super-duper supermen. Ist this Nutzi land not good?
Would you leave it if you could?
Ja this Nutzi land is good!
Vee would leave it if we could

We bring the world to order
Heil Hitler's new world order
Everyone of foreign race will love der Fuehrer's face
When we bring to der world disorder

When der Fuehrer says, "We ist der master race"
We HEIL! (phhht!) HEIL! (phhht!) Right in der Fuehrer's face
When Der Fuehrer says, "We ist der master race"
We HEIL! (phhht!) HEIL! (phhht!) Right in der Fuhrer's face

There is a Walt Disney cartoon from WWII that features DER FUHRER'S FACE. I recall it from the early days of the DISNEYLAND t.v. series. I am fairly sure it was a Donald Duck film.

Can't beat the classics...


A-Wop-bop-a-loo-lop a-lop-bam-boo
Tutti Frutti, all over rootie,..... (x 5, I think)
A-wop-bop-a-loo-lop a-lop bam boo

The strangest lyrics I ever came across were the creation of Godley & Creme. Here's a sample:

I feel like Kojak sitting in a Cadillac
I gotta eat, I gotta eat a flapjack
A stack, a rack, a six-pack, Jack
Just call me Jack Kerouac
Click-clack, open up the hatchback
I could eat a bubble car or a packamack
Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, Big Mac
Good God, it's a snack attack

Snack Attack

Gonna Buy Me a Dog

By Tommy Boyce and Bobby Hart

Recorded by THE MONKEES

You know my girl just called me up
And she woke me from my sleep
You should have heard the things she said
You know she hurt my feelings deep.
I'm gonna buy me a dog [A dog, a dog! Why?]
'Cause I need a friend now. [Say, you need all the friends you can get]
I'm gonna buy me a dog,
My girl, my girl, don't love me no how.

She used to bring me my newspaper
'Cause she knew where it was at.
She used to keep me so contented.
But I can teach a dog to do that.
I'm gonna buy me a dog,
'Cause I need a friend now
I'm gonna buy me a dog,
My girl, my girl, don't love me no how.

i got tears in my ears
from laying on my back
and crying over you.