@Angel23,
Monday 11/12/12
I've deserted this place for almost a month. Nothing newsworthy to write. Holiday season is under way and I'll be working all three days this weekend when we totally get our asses kicked. Corporate will be in the Club. Stakes are high. I guess even I know to be on my best behavior, just like that one day back in May when even Sam's president showed up. I'll prolly talk less than I usually do considering I always say the wrong thing (jk much?) But yeah, if I could pass May, I could pass this weekend.
Why do people consider me loud? Double standards? It's not like I was angry or excited. I was just having a normal conversation. Sometimes if I merely ask for something (supplies) ppl accuse me of being loud. I'm rily sick of it. I admit only to actual wrongdoings. No I shouldn't have let certain words slip but to tell me to lower it every day of the week? Hell yes, last week, I been told at least once a day to lower it. What's worse is when I talk to coworkers in the break room, people from five other tables look up at me. I know I didn't say something wrong since at one instance, we were talking about comedy sitcoms.
And a host of other things piss me off too. Too much to write.
So I found this old journal. Time to update. I was at my last job 3 years 3 months to the day. I've also passed my 6 months at my current job. Things are improving. However, there's been **** I've been thinking about.
In the past 8 years since I've moved to this town, 8 ppl snubbed me and never came around. An additional 4 initially snubbed me before coming around. W/ the exception of Jacklyn, who randomly snubs lots of ppl, everyone who ever snubbed me did so bc my comments are waay off. It's very easy for me to get off topic in a small talk without realizing, for instance.
I could give one example. A coworker and I were stationed near each other while demoing products. It was by the coffee aisle.
Her: Is anyone making coffee. I smell it.
Me: I don't see anyone making coffee. It's probably the beans. They're everywhere.
Her: could be...
Me: The beans give off the smell too.
Her: well it's on and off, not a constant smell.
Me: Well, if it's not a constant smell, then they're not making coffee.
She never talked to me again. tbh, I didn't know I was rude at that time. Nor did I know I was arguing with her. However, that's the kind of comments I make every day, several times a day. That's what makes certain ppl snub me.
Most ppl still accept me, but it's still at a lower rate than other ppl are accepted. I'm prolly around like 60% while others are going strong at 80%. Notice that anything over 50% is most. Currently, a coworker is snubbing me for a comment I made to him that was unintentionally off. I feel no need to ever approach him again, a far cry from my previous attempts to MAKE Liz and Jacklyn like me.
But I'm still not sure whether ppl should be so uncomfprtable that they would snub u, complain about u, and/or be a bitch to u. Because most ppl don't react that way.
