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Social Networking and Leaving Groups

 
 
JPB
 
Reply Sun 1 Jul, 2012 06:10 am
There have been a few instances lately where well-respected members of social networking groups have decided to leave the group. There are a couple examples here I can think of and a few elsewhere. Sometimes we have a dramatic Nixonian "you won't have me to kick around any more" type of door closing (they always return), sometimes folks fade away and others are left to worry and wonder, and sometimes there's an explanation and a true departure.

Social networks are different things to different people. Some make real and honest friendships and connections to the people they meet online. Others see the fora as a opportunity to release their deepest asshole-ism, not caring about the emotional cost to the recipient and the group at large.

We've had a number of discussions here about how we interact with each other. I don't think we need to rehash all of that, but I would like to discuss how folks feel about departures. There probably isn't one best way to quit a social network, but given that the internet is full of all types of people we have to expect folks will leave.
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Type: Question • Score: 18 • Views: 4,308 • Replies: 26

 
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Sun 1 Jul, 2012 07:28 am
@JPB,
Are you talking about defections from FB (some A2Kers left there recently) or defections from here on A2K?
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Sun 1 Jul, 2012 07:31 am
@JPB,
Personally I prefer the provisional and the specific.

Like, no:

"You all suck and I'm leaving forever."

Yes:

"I don't seem to be enjoying this place the way I used to, I'm going to take a break. Just wanted to let you know so you don't worry about me."
JPB
 
  1  
Reply Sun 1 Jul, 2012 07:45 am
@Ragman,
Either and/or both. I'm talking about folks who choose to leave a social networking group and how they choose to do so.
Ragman
 
  4  
Reply Sun 1 Jul, 2012 07:49 am
@JPB,
FWIW, when I personally consider that possibility I think of my fan club and the public welfare.
JPB
 
  1  
Reply Sun 1 Jul, 2012 07:49 am
@sozobe,
The "I'm leaving forever" type seem to come back eventually either with the same login or a different one.

I prefer the provisional explanations as well, although there have been times that I've stepped back without explanation because I assume it's temporary and I really don't want to start a discussion about it.
0 Replies
 
wandeljw
 
  2  
Reply Sun 1 Jul, 2012 07:50 am
In my opinion, most people would not advertise their departure at all.
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JPB
 
  2  
Reply Sun 1 Jul, 2012 07:52 am
@Ragman,
Ha!
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  3  
Reply Sun 1 Jul, 2012 08:32 am
Unfortunately, few trolls ever go away.
I do regret that we have lost some really good people.
I prefer that they say good bye first, but who am I to judge?
0 Replies
 
wandeljw
 
  2  
Reply Sun 1 Jul, 2012 08:35 am
Many absences are temporary. Yesterday gustavratzenhofer posted for the first time in several months.
edgarblythe
 
  5  
Reply Sun 1 Jul, 2012 08:57 am
@wandeljw,
Once again, gus chewed through the leather straps before they could stop him.
0 Replies
 
Rockhead
 
  4  
Reply Mon 2 Jul, 2012 03:36 pm
@JPB,
I've been chewing on this while I built a porch in the silent hours.

I think part of the trouble is inherent in our nature as human beings...

much like a child put an a room and told to do whatever they please, the internet is a big, mostly unsupervised free for all.

you are allowed to lie. so some folks tell all kinds of whoppers.

you can be mean, so some people come here to vent their bile and bully weaker folks.

and you can meet extraordinarily unique people from different environs and cultures than your own.

and make friends that you never would have met otherwise.

basically, you get out of it what you wish to. and you contribute as positively or as negatively as you are wired to behave as a person. (and there is some fucked up wiring out there)

the mix of personalities and agendas is part of the charm.

and the frustration...

there are times when I feel like a2k has become less than it was.

and then something really special happens, and I realize why I stick around.

where else would I get the diversity and intelligence that a2k can provide.

in spite of the intrusive bullshit that some of the members try to peddle...

JPB
 
  3  
Reply Mon 2 Jul, 2012 04:22 pm
@Rockhead,
Yeah, I see A2K in a "Hotel California" kind of way. You can check out any time you like but you can never leave. More so here than other sites for some reason.
0 Replies
 
aspvenom
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 Jul, 2012 04:42 pm
@JPB,
I was introduced to a2k from a few "philosophy major" friends in campus. I see this forum nothing more than half/half intellectual bantering between diverse people. As in some posts makes sense, while others are a bit loony. I'm always willing to listen and learn new stuff. When school starts up, I'll probably be too busy to visit here.

Similar with facebook. My close friends, who are not geographically near me, always are a tad annoyed when I keep them hanging when school starts up.
When responsibilities piles up, and there is no time to spare, I digress more and more away from any type of social networking. (Being a science major may have something to do with it)
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 Jul, 2012 04:52 pm
@aspvenom,
You're good here, post when you can, for brain yammering or personal saying you think,
0 Replies
 
jcboy
 
  8  
Reply Tue 13 Nov, 2012 04:48 pm
I wasn’t going to post this but it just doesn’t seem right to just take off and leave without saying goodbye to a lot of you who have been very kind to me over the years but Marco and I have decided not to return to the forum.

We live in a small community where everyone knows everyone and their business. Ever since I started that DUI thread pretty much everyone in the community lurks here and that’s not always a good thing.

I’ve been here for six years, I use to only post a few times a year so who knows I just may show up someday to say hello to all of you, you’ve been very kind to me over the years and I thank you.
mags314772
 
  2  
Reply Tue 13 Nov, 2012 05:54 pm
@jcboy,
I'm really sorry to see you go, but I completely understand. I'm glad you didn't disappear without a word. I was surprised when you deactivated your FB account, so I went looking. Take good care of each other and your son.
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  2  
Reply Tue 13 Nov, 2012 06:26 pm
Until we hear from you again, Good-bye. I will miss your posts.
0 Replies
 
JPB
 
  1  
Reply Tue 13 Nov, 2012 06:29 pm
@jcboy,
Best wishes to all three of you. Come back whenever you feel it's right.
0 Replies
 
roger
 
  1  
Reply Tue 13 Nov, 2012 06:30 pm
@jcboy,
Definately, never let the virtual intrude on the real. Do feel free to leave us updates that aren't going to leave you open to real world problems.
 

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