1
   

Should the police have killed a suicidal bug?

 
 
dyslexia
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Feb, 2004 08:36 pm
Ratzenhofer, Gustav alias: Gustav Renehr
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Feb, 2004 10:11 pm
I am shocked and offended! How cynical of all of you! Why, the very suggestion that I had anything in mind besides sympathy for that poor bug and concern for the welfare of his family left behind is...well!...well!...that is preposterous! (Besides which, when have Gus and I ever worked together?)

Never mind, then. Don't send the donations. Let the poor baby bugs starve. Let them go through their miserable little crawly lives with no recompense for the senseless loss of their parent. Don't let it keep you awake at night. Even though those babies will be screaming with hunger and cold and loneliness. No, don't let that bother you. After all, bugs don't have feelings.

Or do they?

Is it worth feeling those sharp pangs of conscience when you lie in your soft, warm bed at night, wondering how many of the babies have managed to survive? Wondering if they watched helplessly while their siblings died? Knowing that a simple donation of money from you could have prevented the trauma and the misery that will be with them for the rest of their creepy little lives?

Fine. Don't help them. We will do as Phoenix suggested and ask the government for help. Just be aware that we are opening a very dangerous door. We will have to hope the little critters are too young to be aware of the bigotry that runs rampant in our land. If they ever find out many people are prejudiced against bugs, and all the terrible acts of hatred and destruction that have been visited upon their race, their billions of descendents may someday demand reparations.

Could we afford that?

Wouldn't it be cheaper to donate now?
0 Replies
 
colorbook
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Feb, 2004 10:29 pm
Lets hope his millions and millions of relatives don't decide to congregate at once, to erect a memorial on the side of the highway.
0 Replies
 
Merry Andrew
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Feb, 2004 10:44 pm
I'm with Pueo on this. Waste of ammunition. And who's paying for it? Us taxpayers, that's who.
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Feb, 2004 11:03 pm
Those sorts of insects don't hang around and care for their babies.....mourn only for the bug.
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Feb, 2004 11:37 pm
dlowan wrote:
Those sorts of insects don't hang around and care for their babies.....mourn only for the bug.


See? See? See what I mean? Bigotry runs rampant. Even the bunny is accusing them of being neglectful parents. She doesn't even know these particular bugs personally. Just listen to the language she's using. "Those sorts..." Next thing you know, she'll be calling them "lazy" and "shiftless."

(shaking head)

Shame on you, deb.
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Feb, 2004 12:21 am
Er - I think you will find that the bug belongs to a species which lays its eggs, and pisses off.......
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Feb, 2004 05:55 am
Aaaack! Now she's disparaging an entire species!
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Feb, 2004 06:07 am
You ain't hidin' as much as yu think with all that hair, me dear, she muttered darkly.....
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Feb, 2004 06:12 am
Deb -- http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=568428#568428
0 Replies
 
Turner 727
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Feb, 2004 06:15 am
It's a bug[/b], fer cryin' out loud! There's millions more! There's probably that many eggs just laying around! Hey, one less to worry about, I say.
0 Replies
 
kirsten
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Feb, 2004 06:21 am
That's right, spin this story like it's about bug rights, a hot-button issue to be sure... But don't be fooled people, there's conspiracy afoot, I just know it. Gustav? Time to come clean.
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Feb, 2004 06:33 am
Turner_727 wrote:
I wonder how many millions of kids that poor little roach had?


Quite a change of heart, Turner. I take it you will not be donating at this time. Very well. I will check back with you later to see if you have changed your mind.

kirsten wrote:
That's right, spin this story like it's about bug rights, a hot-button issue to be sure... But don't be fooled people, there's conspiracy afoot, I just know it. Gustav? Time to come clean.


Oh my! It seems we have attracted the conspiracy theorists now. "No good deed left unpunished," as they say.

Phoenix, how is that memorial petition coming? If you need a couple more signatures, ask onyxelle and Montana. Their hearts are in the right places.

Gus, when was the funeral? Have you heard how the family is holding up?
0 Replies
 
Turner 727
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Feb, 2004 06:41 am
I was more worried about how many of the bugs I'm going to have to take care of now. . . Razz

But I do feel a little sorry for the little critters. . .
0 Replies
 
soserene
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Feb, 2004 04:08 pm
Eva wrote:

Fine. Don't help them. We will do as Phoenix suggested and ask the government for help. Just be aware that we are opening a very dangerous door. We will have to hope the little critters are too young to be aware of the bigotry that runs rampant in our land. If they ever find out many people are prejudiced against bugs, and all the terrible acts of hatred and destruction that have been visited upon their race, their billions of descendents may someday demand reparations.

Could we afford that?

Wouldn't it be cheaper to donate now?


*LAUGHS*
I'm too new in the forums to feel real comfortable yet...
but THAT is SOOOOOOOO funny.
0 Replies
 
gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Feb, 2004 05:17 pm
I have just returned from the bug's funeral. It really was quite a lovely affair. A2K was well represented. For those of you who couldn't attend, I offer this photo of the ceremonies...


http://www.coe.ilstu.edu/jabraun/socialstudies/coalmining/images/funeral.gif

I hadn't realized the bug was a veteran. Eva was kind enough, along with her husband and son, to carry the flag. I have a new respect for Eva. She was one of the few people on this thread who showed true compassion. Her grief over the bug's untimely death was almost too painful to watch. She's a strong woman and her husband and son should be proud.

Mr. Stillwater had made fun of the bug's death and treated this whole thing as a joke, yet there he was at the funeral, flanked by Montana (white shawl) and Ceili. I knew Montana and Ceili would show up because they are good, decent, god-fearin' women and they always show up at these affairs, but I certainly didn't expect to see Mr. Stillwater. Yet there he was in all his sartorial splendor, weeping with the rest of us.

Near the umbrella a woman in a white coat wept silently. Yes, people, that is Onyxelle. Her grief was real.

The bug was buried at St. Edwards Cemetery.
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Feb, 2004 06:57 pm
May he rest in pieces.

Thank you for giving us a ride to the cemetary, Gus. It was most thoughtful of you. Now I just have to figure out how to get all the straw out of my clothes. Some wagon you've got there!

For those of you who missed seeing Gus and his wife in the above photos, my son took the following photo. Mrs. Ratzenhofer kept covered the entire time, so as not to risk exposure to light.

http://www.lincoln-highway-museum.org/Photos/Funeral/Couple-Big.zip

I know you are all as hopeful as I am that this appearance together in public signals a long-awaited reconciliation between the estranged couple.
0 Replies
 
Diane
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Feb, 2004 07:48 pm
While people were dropping like flies from the stink of the stink bug, Eva and Gus were busily robbing the local bank. Some of Enron's ill-gotten gains were hidden in this apprently innocent little bank. Gus, being friends with Ken Lay and his lovely, avaricious wife (often bringing them whole hogs, complete with slop, which the Lay's particularly enjoy), was told by Lay, in a typically ugly, inebriated moment, about the hidden funds.

Gus told Eva, who used to go shopping with Mrs. Lay, wemt to Nieman Marcus almost everyday. One of Mrs. Lay's favorites was a pair of alligator jeans which she found on the rack for a mere $22,000.00. Eva, who is a private shopper, wisely took Mrs. Lay to all the most atrociously overpriced shops designed for cows with terrible taste.

Now, Eva and Gus will decide how to spend their new fortune after making a touching, but outrageously phony, appearance at the funeral. Their cynicism is stunning, but I can't help admiring them for their plan to get the Lays laid.
0 Replies
 
 

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