Fri 15 Jun, 2012 07:44 pm
Last week, I found a watermelon at HEB Grocery Store, so large, I thought for a second I could not lift it. Later, as I lugged the monster melon toward the house, it suddenly became weightless. I beheld in my hand a translucence that obscured the melon and made me cognizant of alternate universes and Cro Magnons climbing the Empire State Building. I saw that gods might be real; my atheism was denied me. As red Kool Aid flowed over my palm and coconuts fell away in haphazard directions, I realized for the first time in my lifetime that the melon is holy. I cut it up and saved the hard black seeds to use in a sacrificial ceremony. As smoke spiraled above my land and Punky the dog Arooed, I felt the melon smiling. All was good. I was whole. Thanks, Great Melon
Have you been taking extra dilaudid again Edgar?
As to watermelons they only exist if you see them being in existentialit surroundings under a cloud of grey previously known as mellow yellow. I personally don't believe in watermelons existing as I've never consumed one while balancing a tray of rare agnostic leprechauns on my earlobes.
So, no, watermelons do not exist. Leastwise not in my haberdashery; though I suspect they may exist elsewhere.
I think you got a bad one, thats all.
Thats what happened to the Anasazi, they just got shitfaced and couldnt get back up to their kivas
I think they ran out of firewood, not firewater. It gets cold up there, and chose not to live in the big north woods.
To the doubters I say, When I awoke this morning, my feet were firmly on the ground. I did not float off into the ether. My cell phone worked and the eggs I ate were still good, despite the fourteen hours of no electricity to cool them. Melon is beneficent. Melon forever.
This melon's for you, Ed:
You have a good day now, you hear?
This will enlarge your watermelon knowledge and your stomach.
Forgive my first attempt to post a response since I left the hospital. Butrflynet has taken Dolly and Madison doggies to the dog park so I can have some adventure. This one is even sillier.
You devil you. Thanks for posting.
edgar, I'm worried about you. I always thought you were one of the saner posters. Just shows you how much I know.
Please keep cool and stay in the shade for a while.
The first represents nirvana. The second - my melon army of proselytizers.
I have recently been reading gungasnake and frank apisa. It's contagious. You better run while you still have a modicum of sanity.
Don't bogart that melon, mah friend!
Last summer, I always kept sliced up watermelon in the frig, good refreshment after a hot day's work. I plan to do so this year also.
There's nothing more like natural air-conditioning in the hotter climates than juicing a watermelon (rind and all) - as long as it's organic.
Try it with a squeeze of lime juice, it's divine.
I don't ever see organic, so, no juicing.
Wow! What a bummer! Are there no health food or organic produce merchants? Target Supermarkets (huge national mainstream chain) here has organic berries but perhaps no organic watermelon.
What about Houston area Farmer's markets?
Target (in Tomball) has about the same quality food line as Walgreens, but a bit larger.
HEB and Kroger have organic produce, but melons - not. Melons here have just gotten cheaper than nearly eight dollars.