Reply
Fri 15 Jun, 2012 07:44 pm
Last week, I found a watermelon at HEB Grocery Store, so large, I thought for a second I could not lift it. Later, as I lugged the monster melon toward the house, it suddenly became weightless. I beheld in my hand a translucence that obscured the melon and made me cognizant of alternate universes and Cro Magnons climbing the Empire State Building. I saw that gods might be real; my atheism was denied me. As red Kool Aid flowed over my palm and coconuts fell away in haphazard directions, I realized for the first time in my lifetime that the melon is holy. I cut it up and saved the hard black seeds to use in a sacrificial ceremony. As smoke spiraled above my land and Punky the dog Arooed, I felt the melon smiling. All was good. I was whole. Thanks, Great Melon
@edgarblythe,
Have you been taking extra dilaudid again Edgar?
As to watermelons they only exist if you see them being in existentialit surroundings under a cloud of grey previously known as mellow yellow. I personally don't believe in watermelons existing as I've never consumed one while balancing a tray of rare agnostic leprechauns on my earlobes.
So, no, watermelons do not exist. Leastwise not in my haberdashery; though I suspect they may exist elsewhere.
@edgarblythe,
I think you got a bad one, thats all.
Thats what happened to the Anasazi, they just got shitfaced and couldnt get back up to their kivas
@farmerman,
I think they ran out of firewood, not firewater. It gets cold up there, and chose not to live in the big north woods.
To the doubters I say, When I awoke this morning, my feet were firmly on the ground. I did not float off into the ether. My cell phone worked and the eggs I ate were still good, despite the fourteen hours of no electricity to cool them. Melon is beneficent. Melon forever.
@edgarblythe,
This melon's for you, Ed:
You have a good day now, you hear?
@edgarblythe,
This will enlarge your watermelon knowledge and your stomach.
http://www.whataboutwatermelon.com/
Forgive my first attempt to post a response since I left the hospital. Butrflynet has taken Dolly and Madison doggies to the dog park so I can have some adventure. This one is even sillier.
http://mydisguises.com/2010/02/04/61-photos-of-people-wearing-watermelon-helmets/
BBB
@BumbleBeeBoogie,
You devil you. Thanks for posting.
edgar, I'm worried about you. I always thought you were one of the saner posters. Just shows you how much I know.
Please keep cool and stay in the shade for a while.
@BumbleBeeBoogie,
The first represents nirvana. The second - my melon army of proselytizers.
@Roberta,
I have recently been reading gungasnake and frank apisa. It's contagious. You better run while you still have a modicum of sanity.
@edgarblythe,
Don't bogart that melon, mah friend!
Last summer, I always kept sliced up watermelon in the frig, good refreshment after a hot day's work. I plan to do so this year also.
@edgarblythe,
There's nothing more like natural air-conditioning in the hotter climates than juicing a watermelon (rind and all) - as long as it's organic.
@Ragman,
Try it with a squeeze of lime juice, it's divine.
I don't ever see organic, so, no juicing.
@edgarblythe,
Wow! What a bummer! Are there no health food or organic produce merchants? Target Supermarkets (huge national mainstream chain) here has organic berries but perhaps no organic watermelon.
What about Houston area Farmer's markets?
@Ragman,
Target (in Tomball) has about the same quality food line as Walgreens, but a bit larger.
HEB and Kroger have organic produce, but melons - not. Melons here have just gotten cheaper than nearly eight dollars.
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace