Saw Hotel Rwanda, finally. Was the only person in the entire theatre (and that on a Friday night). The good thing about that was that nobody saw when at one point, I broke into uncontrollable crying. Well, probably if others had been there it'd turned out to be controllable enough.
Anyway. What made me grimace, apart from the obvious. Movie ends, I'm stumped, sitting there till the titles finish. God damn. What fu*king terror, and nobody who did a thing. For a moment even the flickering, sorta reassuring thought that one reason for the Kosovo war was the guilt-fuelled panic about not letting another genocide happen - even tho eventually it turned out 'only' some 10,000 people were actually killed. But that thought, halfway through the titles, is immediately overridden by the cynical realisation hitting me: "and the same thing is happening in Sudan right now". And nobody gives a damn, again. Woulda wanted to cry that out, if there'd be anyone there.
But wait - the grimace doesnt stop there. Cause the very moment I feel this proper indignation coming up, I realise that I dont actually know whether the massacre is still going on. Cause I havent actually bothered to keep up with the news on Sudan. Plus, there's the immediate awareness that as soon as the thought about the very same thing perhaps still happening in Sudan now came up - the idea, what could one do, write letters, do something? - the feeling that instantaneously took over was resignation. Plain, and virulently defensive, resignation. So much trouble in the world. Cant do something about everything. I already do good work. Wouldnt have the stomach to get into this thing as well, can barely manage my own life. Arbitrary pick, anyhow, why focus on that country when there's so many others where bad stuff happens? Et cetera. Within seconds, that.
In Hotel Rwanda, the hotel manager at one point tells the disobedient cameraman that he's happy he went out to film, the massacres outside. "Only you can make the world see this. They'll only intervene if they see whats happening." Something like that. The cameraman winces and says, you know what they'll say? They'll see it on the TV, and they'll go, "oh, that's terrible" - and then they'll go on having dinner.
He's right. I'm in there watching the titles, still kinda numb and all impressed, and I already know that next up, I'll go to Sark to have a drink, cause I dont feel like going home after this - wonder if there'll be someone to talk with - phew that was quite something huh? Perhaps I'll write an A2K post about it.
Skip, move on. "Good movie, yeah!"
Yeah.
I get that every now and then, maybe not to the point of sobbing (but then not usually after movies, which are as in your face as it gets), but often after reading an article about something. Sometimes just reading the paper in the morning will send me into it.
I do what I can. I know it's not enough.
" Plain, and virulently defensive, resignation."
Yeah.
nimh, hotel rwanda is powerful enough. but Sometime in April, now that's one unbearably moving film. And counts among my most absurd life experiences ever. Harvard Film Archive, which organized the showing with Carr Center for Human Rights thought it wise to give out popcorn and soda for free before the movie. and people kept eating them throughout the movie, to my utter disbelief and chagrin.
The massacre does go on. Number of dead in Sudan is higher that it was in Rwanda. The rate of killing both in Rwanda and Sudan is higher than even the Nazi were able to achieve. And we argue whether or not it is genocide, and withdraw all but the most crucial UN personnel when AU soldiers were kidnapped (and released soon, it was all calculated to make agencies like UN leave). Note the similarity with Rwanda - buying time with worthless peace agreements that neither side believes in or adheres - they just serve for show for the westerners who can feel good about themselves for doing something, then comes a threat (in Rwanda eight Belgian soldiers were kidnapped and actually killed), UN withdraws. AU stays so far, without money, technology, and world's interest.
i was planning to go to rwanda this december with a friend (she's still going, but through a program i cannot afford), but i'll have to wait. hopefully next year. i am hoping my own work that i'll come back to from february will be doing something, towards conciliation mostly and prevention, but one feels awefully powerless. for me, the start is to understand and stop judging. i cringe when i read about 'ancient tribal hatreds' being battled out, because it's so not true. not in rwanda and not in sudan. belgians helped to mess up relations in rwanda, Sudan was colonized by Egypt and then by Brits, who 'returned' the South (against its will) to Sudan and helped build up tensions among different groups that they artificially clustered into one state. oil, different religions, and complicated relationship of the west towards both mess up situation even more.....
arrrrrrrghhhh. makes me grimace regularly, but i could go on forever. now if you excuse me, i'm gonna go have my lunch.... yeah.
Yup. To all that. <sighs>
That's the problem when friends just keep patting on your shoulder, Steve!
Been meaning to rent and watch Hotel Rwanda. It's hard to make myself do it.
thanks francis feel almost not better
halloween party going on opposite
lots of screaming
that what I want to do
Favourite football team lost again ...
Long story, but because of my dumbass friends, my motorcycle is still sitting outside in the driveway, now in the f'n snow, when it could have been put in the garage(30 minutes away) earlier.
forgetting to change my clocks and getting up at 6:00 a.m.
I received the greatest cockblock of my life last night.
The sound of the vacume cleaner this morning after getting drunk with my friends last night.
Being 'scolded' this morning by my work partner over a simple mistake, of which I make very few. This coming from someone who makes her fair share of mistakes, like most humans, but refuses to even admit to them, always looking for someone else to blame.
grrrrrr.....
coming upon a bike and car accident, just down the road from home and work, and not being able to determine if it was one of the contract labourers, from the greenhouse where i work, who had been hit
thankfully it was not, but some other poor soul in obvious distress was being loaded into an ambulance and taken away
bikes, no helmets and dark highways a dangerous combination
Sounds awful. That poor man.
HM#1's b/f invited himself to dinner friday night. He's never once had dinner here. He is usually too busy going out for dinner with his ex-g/fs. He's coming to dinner because HM#1 has invited her former dive instructor who had a crush on her. The dive instructor knows that HM#1 has a b/f and I think she's trying to set he and I up for a sort of meeting. I frown upon small hypocrisy, but this is the most obnoxious (if you knew the history here!) hypocrisy I've seen in a loooong time. Grrrrrr-it. Grrrrrr-imace.
Don't show up for dinner. That'll fix them both.
