Australia Day

GO AUSSIES!!!!!

Rah rah rah, shish boom bah!

Australia day is the closest thing we have to thanksgiving. But it's not so much a family day as a party day.

i wonder if i can get there by the 26th

A few beers in the sun and you'll sure be seeing stars!

Aboriginal people call it "Invasion Day" and mourn it - I do a bit, too - but hey, who can resist a public holiday?????

Yes, dlowan, I have a lot of sympathy with the Aboriginal position on this, too. I mean, what's to celebrate about a white invasion?

Jan 26 is Republic day in India - where we celebrate the implementation of our consititution after freeing ourselves from the British Raj.

But hey, give me a Aussie day anyday - always up for a party !!! Enjoy yr long weekend guyz and gals !!

Thanks, Gautam. We always do.

Certainly looking forward to it.

Happy Australia Day :-D

Australia Day

WE ARE ONE

We are the people of a free nation of blokes, sheilas and the occasional wanker. We come from many lands (although a few too many of us come from New Zealand), and although we live in the best country in the world, we reserve the right to bitch and moan about it whenever we bloody like. We are One Nation but divided into many States.

First, there's Victoria, named after a queen who didn't believe in lesbians.

Victoria is the realm of Mossimo turtlenecks, cafe latte, grand final day, and big horse races. Its capital is Melbourne, whose chief marketing pitch
is that "it's liveable". At least that's what they think. The rest of us think it is too bloody cold and wet.

Next, there's NSW, the realm of pastel shorts, macchiato with sugar, thin books read quickly and millions of dancing queens. Its capital Sydney has
more queens than any other city in the world and is proud of it. Its mascots are Bondi lifesavers that pull their Speedos up their cracks to keep the left and right sides of their brains separate.

Down south we have Tasmania, a State based on the notion that the family that bonks together stays together. In Tassie, everyone gets an extra
chromosome at conception. Maps of the State bring smiles to the sternest faces. It holds the world record for a single mass shooting, which the Yanks
can't seem to beat no matter how often they try.

South Australia is the province of half-decent reds, a festival of foreigners and bizarre axe murders. SA is the state of innovation. Where else can you so effectively reuse country bank vaults and barrels as in Snowtown, just out of Adelaide (also named after a queen). They had the Grand Prix, but lost it when the views of Adelaide sent the Formula One drivers to sleep at the wheel.

Western Australia is too far from anywhere to be relevant. It's main claim to fame is that it doesn't have daylight saving because if it did, all the
men would get erections on the bus on the way to work. WA was the last state to stop importing convicts and many of them still work there in the
government and business.

The Northern Territory is the red heart of our land. Outback plains, and dusty kids with big smiles. It also has the highest beer consumption of anywhere on the planet and its creek beds have the highest aluminium content of anywhere too. Although the Territory is the centrepiece of our national culture, few of us live there and the rest prefer to flyover it on our way to Bali.

And there's Queensland. While any mention of God seems silly in a document defining a nation of half arsed sceptics, it is worth noting that God probably made Queensland, as its beautiful one day and perfect the next. Why he filled it with dickheads remains a mystery.

Oh yes and there's Canberra. The less said the better.

We, the citizens of Oz, are united by Highways, whose treacherous twists and turns kill more of us each year than murderers. We are united in our lust
for international recognition, so desperate for praise we leap in joy when a rag tag gaggle of corrupt IOC officials tells us Sydney is better than Beijing. We are united by a democracy so flawed that a political party albeit a redneck gun toting one, can get a million votes and still not win one seat in Federal Parliament. Not that we're whingeing, we leave that to our Pommy immigrants. We want to make "no worries mate" our national phrase, "she'll be right mate" our national attitude and "Waltzing Matilda" our national anthem (so what if it's about a sheep-stealing crim who commits suicide). We love sport so much our newsreaders can read the death toll from a sailing race and still tell us who's winning. And we're the best in the
world at all the sports that count, like cricket, netball, rugby league and union, AFL, roo shooting, two up and horse racing. We also have the biggest
rock, the tastiest pies, and the worst dressed Olympians in the known universe. Only in Australia can a pizza delivery get to your house faster
than an ambulance. Only in Australia do we have bank doors wide open, no security guards, or cameras but chain the pens to the desk. Stand proud Aussies - we shoot, we root, we vote. We are girt by sea and pissed by lunchtime. Even though we might seem a racist, closed minded, sports
obsessed little people, at least we feel better for it. I am, you are, we are Australian!

P.S We also shoot and eat the two animals that are on our National Crest!!!!
No other country has this distinction!



> HAPPY AUSTRALIA DAY - January 26, 2004.

that was funny. but i still like cairns.

Re: Australia Day


i guess i should point out that the fsm is the federated states of micronesia, and the cnmi is the commonwealth of the northern mariana islands.

fsm

cnmi

Pueo!!!!!!

I wish you were on smegging MSN, or Yahoo, or some other damn chat thingy, like I am.....

I betcha he don't!!!

has the drinking started as yet ?

Err, G-tam the drinking would have to STOP, prior to it RE-STARTING.


At this very moment it is still Friday nite, with three days to go till we return to work.


So, the drinking started about.... letseee.... integer of the prime...... latitude and longitude........... summer solstice and solar eclipse....... two hundred and twenty six years since the landing of the First Fleet..... what's that Skip? Sonny's fallen down a ravine into a crocodile infested swamp? F@uck him, little pain in the arse - wanna coldie Skip?......




LAST NIGHT, coz today's the last day of the week and we've all got four days of making merry before we phone in sick. God, I LOVE this country!!!