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I think I will lose my dear kuvasz Kodi this week.

 
 
kuvasz
 
Reply Mon 5 Jan, 2004 03:39 am
I think I will lose my kuvasz Kodi this week.

She has been acting poorly since New Years Eve. Since then, she has been spending most of her time under the house’s porches, coming out only for a short walk to go from one to another porch in the process of relieving herself. She came in the house last night, but for a few days now she has not come up on the front porch at all to sleep as she has daily for several years. And that she did last night might only be because she came in the back door last night and I groomed her and petted her for hours attempting to make her comfortable. When I went to bed at 5 am this morning she was sleeping under my kitchen table, but when I awoke at 8am, she had moved to her usual spot on her sleeping bag on the porch, today she was out for a little bit, even coming to the fence gate when a neighbor came by, but she went right back under the front porch afterwards.

Sometime today she moved to under the back porch, where she has been ever since. She has eaten some rice and turkey a few hours ago which I crawled under the porch to give her, but she has not moved more than a few feet since then, and she usually comes out when I call for her.

While she is alert and smiling at me, I know she is tired or in pain because of the way she carries herself. I will take her to the vet in the morning, and have already talked to the people I got her from in 1993, so many years ago it seems now. And the breeder told me (as I knew already deep inside) that Kodi is getting ready to die.

Oh geeze, even writing those words hurt so much and I am in tears now.

Kodi has been with me for 11 years, and her, her sister Aja, and I spanned together the most important years of my life. I don’t even remember what my life was like without Aja and Kodi not in it waiting for me at home. They were my family.

Unlike the new members of my dog pack, Aja and Kodi were my constant companions away from the house as well as when I was home. I took them everywhere I went, from beaches to mountains, to Bojangles for Saturday morning biscuits riding in the back of my Explorer where they won over the hearts of that little old black lady at the drive in window who always snuck in an extra biscuit for each of them.

I can remember Kodi’s first night with me, sleeping by my head and the new puppy smell she emitted. And I shall always hear her midnight barks to let the world know she was there protecting me.

Kodi is the last living attachment of my life before I moved here half dozen years ago and losing her is losing what has been a real living and tangible connection to my earlier life.

Her passing means much of me is passing too.

Kodi has been such a righteous and loving being, of beauty and grace, of gorgeous face and sweet disposition, that it seems hard to imagine any creature so alive and blessedly happy will soon be dead.

Aja and Kodi have taught me my life’s lesson: try to treat those around you each moment, as you surely will wish you had when they are gone.

Kodi has had a wonderful life, and I am proud to have been a part of it.

I just wish it wasn’t time for her to go.


http://home.mindspring.com/~fcalaja/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/littlekodiajatugawarsc93.jpg

Kodi as a 7 week old puppy with Aja


http://home.mindspring.com/~fcalaja/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/koditubsmallsize.jpg



Kodi as a 7 year old ready for her bath…always happy!
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Type: Discussion • Score: 2 • Views: 3,183 • Replies: 29
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Joe Nation
 
  1  
Reply Mon 5 Jan, 2004 04:59 am
So sad, K, it's a really tough time.
Thinking about you all day today.

best..
Joe
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Mon 5 Jan, 2004 05:03 am
Hugs to you Kuvasz. It sounds as though she is dying with the same grace with which she has lived.

Take care - I guess it is good that you know, beause you can spend special time with her, but it is so hard.
0 Replies
 
farmerman
 
  1  
Reply Mon 5 Jan, 2004 07:06 am
when we choose to surround our lives with those whose lives are briefer than our own, we accept the joy of their love and companionship and , the terrible heartache of their passing.
As a similar survivor, all I can say in comfort is that you will always remember her and as, with time, the tears give way to a sad melancholy, she will be part of your family that has gone.
Be there when she goes away cause, even in your photos you post, her eyes express a deep bond between you.

Very sorry man. Even though it can shred your heart , youd have it no other way.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Mon 5 Jan, 2004 09:28 am
I'm so sorry.

This sounds exactly like the last few days that Jake was with us. I know it's kind of hard to think of right now, but her love (and your love for her) will never, ever die.

Hugs, my friend.
0 Replies
 
PDiddie
 
  1  
Reply Mon 5 Jan, 2004 09:48 am
kuv:

You've always been one of my favorites here (and at Abuzz).

All of us grieve with you and for you.
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Mon 5 Jan, 2004 09:55 am
Such a beauty.

Hugs.
0 Replies
 
HofT
 
  1  
Reply Mon 5 Jan, 2004 10:00 am
We're not gods, so all of our lives (man and dog) will come to an end. Please be glad for fact the darling doggie isn't suffering.

They all know when the end is there - a wisdom we lack - and take it philosophically...

Love and hugs to you and doggies, Kuvasz!
0 Replies
 
Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Mon 5 Jan, 2004 10:01 am
Kuv--

I'm so sorry. You are both in my thoughts. Hold your dominion.
0 Replies
 
blueveinedthrobber
 
  1  
Reply Mon 5 Jan, 2004 10:02 am
Hang in there dude.
0 Replies
 
Piffka
 
  1  
Reply Mon 5 Jan, 2004 11:33 am
I'm very sad to hear about Kodi. I have admired your relationship with your Kuvasz friends since I first heard you describe them on abuzz. They are awesome! The next week sounds like it is going to be very hard for you. I'm so sorry.

I have loved my animal companions so much, I know how hard it is to see them fading away. They touch your heart (or maybe it is your soul) in ways that are almost beyond comprehension. They are so good, so loyal and so sure that you are the same as well, it is nearly heart-breaking. I really do wish I could be the person my dog thinks I am.

A soft gentle scritch behind the ears for Kodi and one for you, too... or maybe a hug.

((((((Kuvaszs))))))
0 Replies
 
quinn1
 
  1  
Reply Mon 5 Jan, 2004 12:07 pm
HUGS!!! To you all

Its a terrible thing to go through but, we do get through it, and Ive had both the disappearance act and the old age fading away thing you seem to be describing. I can say that I would rather spend the time knowing and loving every moment possible left. My heart still goes out to you.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Mon 5 Jan, 2004 03:54 pm
Oh, kuvasz. I am so sorry. Your description of her time now makes me cry.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Mon 5 Jan, 2004 03:55 pm
Oh, kuvasz. I am so sorry. Your description of her time now makes me cry.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Mon 5 Jan, 2004 03:55 pm
Oh, kuvasz. I am so sorry. Your description of her time now makes me cry.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Mon 5 Jan, 2004 03:56 pm
Oh, kuvasz. I am so sorry. Your description of her time now makes me cry.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Mon 5 Jan, 2004 03:56 pm
Oh, kuvasz. I am so sorry. Your description of her time now makes me cry.
0 Replies
 
msolga
 
  1  
Reply Mon 5 Jan, 2004 04:02 pm
kuvasz

I want to say how sorry I am that you're going through this. A huge loss, I know. <sigh> It is never easy.
0 Replies
 
Frank Apisa
 
  1  
Reply Mon 5 Jan, 2004 04:04 pm
Sorry, Kuvasz,

I know it's very little consolation, but you'll have good memories.

For sure they will bring tears to your eyes like mine do to me when I think of my little buddy who is no longer with me...but in a way, it is a very comforting misting.

Keep your head up -- and if you have to take comfort in anything, consider the fact that some people can never feel what you are feeling.
0 Replies
 
Swimpy
 
  1  
Reply Mon 5 Jan, 2004 06:23 pm
Love and hugs to you and Kodi, Kuvasz. Nobody loves you like your dog.
0 Replies
 
 

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