Like a weary but persistent pilgrim, the bubble of methane gas progressed
through Christian's colon, sought remission at his sphincter, and burst forth
into glory with a mighty Halleluia.
The morning started out all wrong this morning at Precinct 13: a Code Red was called over
a call was taken reporting three suspicious attache dases left at Gongressman Beaner(R-Ohio)'s doorstep overnight.
The senior bombsquad officer and crew was abruptly summoned from the coffee shop and dispatched to the
scene - flakvests, remote controlled robotic detonator, the works. Half hour later, local
television coverage showed the aftermath: instead of the anticipated deadly explosive discharge,
a large shower of 100-dollar notes cascading over the outside lawn and onto Beaner Boulevard
resulting in a monster commuter traffic snarlup as drivers and passengers leaped out of
their vehicles to tidy up the mess.