Swimpy wrote:Olga, I may have mislead all of you into thinking that my sister and I had a good relationship.
This was not the case, but I did love her. She had never forgiven me for something I did more than thirty years ago. No matter what I did, she could never forget it. About four years ago, she stopped talking to me. She had her reasons, but they were not rational ones. Every time she saw me she would get very upset. So I kept my distance. She was a tortured soul.
When she was in the hospital, she finally was able to be warm toward me. Maybe she knew she was dying. She let me hold her hand and kiss her forehead. That meant the world to me.
Swimpy
I am so glad that a reconciliation occurred before she died. Otherwise you could be feeling terrible now. But how sad, that it took so long & happened only at the end. I feel for you, Swimpy. I imagine you're feeling a deep sadness & regret for what might have been.
Maybe I'll feel the same?
Swimpy, we haven't posted much together, but I have always felt connected when you post. With your sister and the holding out on opinions, it is like that with some dear friends too. I don't have sisters or brothers either, but have worlds moving, even exploding and settling among friends.
I'm relieved re your ending, or departing, with her. It is all unbelievable, isn't it?
Thanks, for the hug Soz.
Olga, I feel a lot of regret. So many wasted years...
Osso, I'm relieved that my sister is not in pain any longer. I know she had a big heart. Her friends who came to the funeral told me about all the nice things she did for them.
Swimpy wrote:
Olga, I feel a lot of regret. So many wasted years...
Yes, I can understand that, Swimpy, but of course, that wasn't your fault. It was just the way things were at the time. I can relate!
Me too, not to a sister, but to my mother.
Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to this thread. I just wasn't able to focus, so many details and loose ends.
Osso and Olga, thank you for your empathy. It's comforting to know that others can understand my situation. I always felt that since I was in better emotional and physical health that I should have been the one to take the first step at mending fences. I was never able to do it though. I worried about how upset she got at the site of me because she lived with our elderly mother. I know she would lash out at mom after any encounter with me. I finally decided my mom's well-being was more important than a reconciliation. In hindsight, I should have had more backbone.
Swimp, honey. It's not so much the things that are said, but the things left unsaid that cause us grief. Something tells me that you will pick up the pieces and "walk like you have a purpose in life."
I will never forget how supportive you were when I was in crisis with my son.
Hi, Letty. Thanks for your support, too. I'll be alright. I know that I made the decision I did with the best of intensions.
It sounds like it was a well-reasoned decision.
And you took one of the most important steps possible, at the end. You have that.
Swimpy, it's wonderful to see that you're getting back into the swing of things. Bravo!
http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=17768&highlight=
No doubt there will be lots of times when you feel very sad about your loss but it gets less painful & debilitating over time, as I've discovered following my father's death, quite a few years ago. As time goes by one becomes more accepting & less distressed. I hope your involvement in the political process is giving you back some energy & distracting you a little.
Msolga, very wise words, and very true!
That's what I'm hoping for, Olga. I volunteered to be a delegate at the county convention and also to be on the platform committee. I have never gotten involved in politics to this extent before. I think it will be a good thing.
Swimpy
Going nuts over political machinations is one hell of a distraction, yes? :wink:
Going nuts may be just what I do! I have no idea what I'm getting myself into. Yipes!
Call it a learning experience, Swimpy!
My brother just passed away this afternoon. And now there are six. I don't want to do this again.
I am sorry to hear that, Swimpy.
Oh no...
I'm so sorry, Swimpy.
Ach, Swimpy. I'm sorry to hear this.
