Though one learns to take such things in stride, I haven't fully recovered from hearing our waiter sing "Islands In the Stream" at brunch.
12 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone
Nevada Proposition 6: Would legalize and tax the sale of bags of oregano to dumb 13-year-olds
Next year, my Halloween costume will be @joelmchale. All I need is his skin.
28 minutes ago
We had to cut off personalizations because there were A THOUSAND OF THEM ad my hand is going to fall off #ultimate1stworldproblem
simonpegg Simon Pegg
So many assume Minnie is my daughter. I ask you this. Why the **** would I walk my infant daughter round the block at 10pm & log her shits.
christhile Chris Thile
Dear massage parlors and commercial airlines, Boys choirs and tribal drumming aren't relaxing to anyone who cares about music. Best, C
joelmchale Joel McHale
About to ride the real Polar Express in Sacramento. This better be authentic. I expect to see Tom Hanks & children with dead fish eyes.
paulapoundstone Paula Poundstone
If we tax the use of [t]he word "like" we could restore the budget surplus.
simonschuster Simon & Schuster
Want to find out the dirt on the stars of The Hills? Ask @LoBosworth herself during her live online chat 1/[email protected]:30 EST
billmaher Bill Maher
Awesome! Arianna Huffington - a close personal friend of mine - now controls Mapquest! Sweeeet!
God_Damn_Batman The Batman
Christopher Nolan is the director Oscar deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So he'll get snubbed. Because he can take it.
scalzi John Scalzi
One of those paranormal shows on Syfy was on in the background. As it was on I felt a chill, as if something stupid was behind me.