@Telamon,
Quote:Robert Jordan aka James Oliver Rigney, Jr. (thankfully before he passed on)
That just reminded me that I did write what could be considered a fan letter to my father. I got to have it read to him (I couldn't read it as I was crying too hard) by my brother before my dad passed away.
They called me Monday afternoon to tell me he had a dissected aortic aneurysm and would certainly die from it whether it would take 24 hours or two weeks, so I wrote this on the plane. I got there Tuesday night. He was still awake and aware and so could hear my words as read by my brother. He went to sleep on Wednesday morning, never woke again and died on Thursday morning. But he got to hear what I thought of him and I'm so happy about that.
"Daddy - when I was little, I loved looking at the pictures in your highschool year book. I liked trying to imagine what the people in those pictures, faces frozen forever at their most hopeful and youthful, would go on to do. Where would they go and what would their lives become?
And the only one I know for sure fulfilled his youthful promise is you. And I know that because you became my father. And in that book, beneath your picture it said, 'Most Likely to Succeed'. And that's exactly what you've done. As a Christian, as a provider, but most especially as a father, you have achieved over and above what anyone could have asked of you. Your walk through life and time has been markedly successful in the sense that every place you've gone and every life you've touched has been made better in some way, simply by your presence.
You taught me about integrity because you embody the definition of the word. I have always been able to observe that your behavior doesn't change when people are watching. You are honest to the core because that's who you are and not just because that's what you're supposed to be. You are hardworking and kind and generous because that's who you are and not only because that's what you're supposed to be.
I've learned so much about how to be and live from you: the meaning of commitment and the honor of doing what you say you will do.
You can be exacting and demanding of people but you are never unfair and unkind in your assessment and hold yourself to the same standards as you hold anyone else. All you ask is that people 'do the right thing.'
Some may find this difficult, but I have found it to be exactly what I needed a father to do in my life-you saw my strengths and acknowledged them but never allowed me to ignore or make excuses for my weaknesses. As different as I am from you, you've always showed me you accepted and appreciated and believed in me. I didn't have to be just like you - you just wanted me to be my best self.
I owe you that best self. It is your belief in me and the sense of safety and security you provided that have allowed me to walk confidently in the world knowing you are always there for me. You have never let me down. And the amazing thing is that there are over 30 people in our immediate family who can say the same thing.
I've learned so much from you. I learned to love music listening to Camelot, The Sound of Music, Dr. Zhivago, and My Fair Lady in front of your stereo - my ear pressed to the speaker, my eyes glued to the pictures on the album cover. I learned to love walking in the woods because you took me camping. You taught me to love reading and learning. One of the first presents I remember you giving me is Rudyard Kipling's illustrated version of Just-So Stories. You brought it home to me when you returned from a business trip.
You've been a father to the man I married, who never had a father of his own. You are the only grandfather my children have ever known. Most children have two grandfathers, but with you as their Papa, they've only ever needed one and are luckier than most with that. They couldn't have been provided with a better example of how to live a successful life than you've provided them.
When I heard you were sick, I took a walk with my dog. The sky was infinite, dark and silent - lit by stars. It was cold and very clear. I felt you with me. I felt God with me. I asked him to care for you, to ease any pain, fear or sadness you might be feeling. I immediately felt peace. Because I know that you believe he's a father to you as you have been to me - and as such he will hold you and keep you as you have always held and cared for me.
It is you who has taught me about this sort of love and to believe that if your heart is true and good and brave - you have nothing to fear.
I have loved you so much - your daughter - Rebecca
