Re-gifting

I have just gone on about this in another thread, but, the truth is that in some short years, I have looked around the house to see what I have for X. Usually I work around that by buying throughout the year when I see things that make sense for certain people, that I can afford.

I am more likely to give the fluorescent Santa, or in the case of a gift from my mother in law, the array of plastic strawberries, to the Salvation Army.

Yes, I just saw that, Osso!

I thought of it because I was just doing my complicated Christmas diagram today. (What I have already gotten/ made, where the gaps are, etc.) I decided to give a lovely but not quite my style "Christmas Memories" photo album that was a gift from my side of the family last year and immediately went into the "re-gifting" box (I have one), so is pristine and unused, to my newly married brother-in-law and his wife, whose style the album is, I think.

I'm also giving a cool flashlight that was a request for the sozlet last year, received from my mom for her birthday this year, but she is no longer interested in, to her cousin who is now the age she was last year.

That sort of thing. (I take great pains to re-gift to opposite sides of the family, usually.)

On the other hand, we used to receive from my uncle, a teacher, various gewgaws with "For Mr. Sozsuncle, Merry Christmas!" tags on the bottom. That's tacky.

(I'll keep the Santa for a white elephant gift exchange scheduled for December with some ladies who I think would like it.)

Yes, I do recycle if I really don't like something and know someone who would love it!

Why not?

I have been re-gifted and could tell. It felt tacky and cheap.
I have been given writing paper. I must say I already have tons of little cards to write letters on and who in these days really needs a whole new set of writing paper with envelopes?

I have been given hand lotion which I do not use. I already have plenty of hand lotion if I wanted to use it.

I was also raised to take off the price tag. And so far most gifts to me still have the price tag. Do they really want you to know how much was paid for it or forgettful or just don't know it is tacky
Please no more re-gifts. Thank You.

I was afraid this was going to be about that damn fruitcake again. Luckly, it seems to have become misplaced 6 or 8 years ago.

Okay, Roger, you made me laugh..

You wont visit me and ask why I don't use that lovely vase with that nice picture on it for the flowers, wont you?

Well, being grown up in a house, where everyone was guided by the idea that some distsnt aunt and/or uncle really could pose such a question, being married to a wife, whose family was glad to get some gifts because of their financial background, we really seldom re-gift anything.

Books, we got double, this happens.

And fruitcake (or chocolades, which tastes as poor) are a wellcomed present by some of the old ladies in our house. (They really like that! Honestly.)

A Cheeha Pet is a gift that keeps on giving in our family. Same one has been regifted for over fifteen years now. I first gave it to my husband because he kept singing the cheea theme song....over and over and over.....so I figured he should have one.

My great-grandfather, bless his frugal old self, used to give us cards with other people's name's crossed out. It was tacky, but we loved him anyway.

If your relatives have Alzheimer's, does taking things from their house and giving them back as gifts count?

I agree with Misti- I have to hate the item, and know that the other person would like it, before I would regift!

I don't "regift" as much as recycle through the year and then only when the gift is presentable and its absence will not hurt feelings.


Present in question: A massive terry cloth bathrobe that fastened with a tie. I like floor length bathrobes that zip. My daughter-in-law was delighted with a new bathrobe.

Present in question: A holiday throw for the couch featuring the Nutcracker. This I keep--and display--because the donor would be heartbroken not to see the throw as part of my Christmas clutter.

Present in question: Cheap chocolate. This sort of "goodie" goes in the box for the nursing home.

I had a bulky wool sweater that I got in Ireland twenty years ago and never wore it. I finally gave it to goodwill last August. My friend goes on her honeymoon to Ireland and buys herself the same bulky wool sweater and decides she doesn't like it and gave it to me for my birthday one month after I got rid of mine. I was speechless and quietly gave the sweater she gave me to goodwill a few days later.

I don't regift; instead of inflicting some of the tragic things I have been given by neurotic grand-aunts to charity, or to the recycling plant. I have been regifted though, with crappy videos from this weird teenage freak who used to stalk me.

Some of the things my friends and I have been given by older relatives are completely cringeworthy. I don't know why, but when my girlfriend and I were looking for somewhere to crash before we went to Genoa for her birthday, and she decided on spending one night at my grandmother's house, my twisted grandmother gave her a Santa suit. Why would she want that? It was February, which made the whole fiasco even worse. My grand-aunt once gave my father a book of 'Dentist Innuendos'- don't ask- and that was promptly thrown away.

Oh yeah, we've regifted. When we were married, at my bridal shower, we got 2 sandwich makers. Not 1, but 2. Never mind that we were registered at Macy's and there were no sandwich makers on our list. We managed to return one but the other didn't have too much identifying info (it was probably a regift already) so we ended up giving it to another couple getting married (a friend who didn't make it to my shower). She was thrilled. Problem solved.

We also received 3 8" x 10" frames for our wedding photo. One was acceptable, so we used it. Another was okay and we gave it to one great-aunt (on my dad's side). The other was less okay and we gave it to another great-aunt (on my mother's side). Well, the one that was given to my mother's aunt broke in transit. So she was calling us up - did you insure it? How much was it (e. g. she was putting in a claim)? Uh, I dunno. I think I finally said $60 to give her a figure. She was mad because she realized we'd regifted. My Mom felt bad about the whole thing until Mom realized this aunt had regifted her (Mom) the year before. So, auntie couldn't really complain.

Definitely, you need to be a bit organized if you're going to regift. Make sure the regift goes to someone who hasn't seen it. Make sure the price tag is off. Make sure any identifying marks (e. g. tags addressing the gift to you) are gone. Make sure the person you're giving it to likes it (if not, give it to Goodwill, where they will sell it and it will be of a benefit to them). Make sure it's something that the person who gave it won't hunt for and want to see when they next visit you (oh sorry, Aunt Marge, I can't find the electric pink flashing Santa you gave us).

And don't feel guilty about it.

I think the trouble of organizing one's regifting is too much hassle when one can make someone happy by donating it to charity...

I wouldn't feel guilty, just sorry for the person whom I would have regifted...

I lied. I realized I do regift.

My parents used to give each other awkward relations. In odd numbered years my mother would have the burden of "X" and in even numbered years the onus would be on my father.

I've continued this in my marriage. This year I will give Mr. Noddy's outspoken sister back to him and I expect I'll be gifted with the family Black Sheep.

Would that they could be recycled elsewhere, but family is family.

My attitude is: 'I've bought this for you in mind; like it or leave it, but it won't wind me up.' So, do you think you'll regift this year, Noddy? What do you think you'll give the Black sheep?

dròm et rêve--

I didn't make myself clear. I will get the Black Sheep (and the responsibility for coping with him) for 2004. I'll be the one to hear the drunken ramblings about Life Not Being Fair. I'll get to say, "No, we are not lending you any more money."

Physically, he's living 1200 miles away. Symbolically, I'll have him on my back after a year off.

Hee hee! I thought that's what you meant.

Usually, with re-gifting, I think, "If I saw this in a store, would I consider buying it for this person?" In the photo album and flashlight examples above, the answer is yes.

What I don't think is acceptable is just the "something to wrap up" rationale. Like, just give something, anything, for the sake of having given A Gift.

And of course all of the tag stuff etc. Leaving an old tag on, NOooooooo. And must be in good/ pristine condition. (Flashlight is still in its box, box is opened but I will add batteries -- doesn't come with batteries -- which would explain why it was opened.)

I'm sufficiently strapped for cash that it seems silly to receive something, and because I don't need it/ want it give it to Goodwill, and then turn around and buy something similar for someone else.