As a fellow with many strange items strewn about my house, I will tell you that perhaps oddest of them all is a petrified platypus which I found in a weird little shop in New York's Chinatown. I use it as a shoehorn ...and keep it, appropriately enough, in an elephant's foot umbrella stand --which also contains an bombershoot made of bat skin stretched over a frame of cassawary ribs, and a pair of galoshes fashioned entirely out of stale gummybears. Would I make this stuff up?
...well, perhaps you are right about that. I would. But in this case... ahhh, I can't keep it up, it's all lies!!!! Tissues!!!! Fabrications!!!!!! Drag me out and flog me. Here, use this cat o'nine tails made out of angel hair spaghetti...
Ahhh, this sort of thread brings out the worst in me.
