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A Need for Companionship?

 
 
johannw
 
Reply Tue 20 Apr, 2010 12:01 pm
Why do you think that people usually have a need for human companionship? Whether it be friendship or romantic relationship.

Why is it that some are more prone to forming strong emotional feelings than others?

Why is it that some people can be cold and detached, even from those considered closest to them, while others look for deep emotional connections with pretty much anyone?

Just out of curiosity...
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kennethamy
 
  1  
Reply Tue 20 Apr, 2010 03:15 pm
@johannw,
johannw;154553 wrote:
Why do you think that people usually have a need for human companionship? Whether it be friendship or romantic relationship.

Why is it that some are more prone to forming strong emotional feelings than others?

Why is it that some people can be cold and detached, even from those considered closest to them, while others look for deep emotional connections with pretty much anyone?

Just out of curiosity...


Are these philosophical questions, or are they psychological/anthropological questions?
johannw
 
  1  
Reply Tue 20 Apr, 2010 04:03 pm
@kennethamy,
kennethamy;154597 wrote:
Are these philosophical questions, or are they psychological/anthropological questions?



I think they could be viewed as either or. What do you think? Is it too psychological?
GoshisDead
 
  1  
Reply Tue 20 Apr, 2010 04:11 pm
@johannw,
Because like most primate species we are a social creature. We do not function as humans without companionship.
johannw
 
  1  
Reply Tue 20 Apr, 2010 04:22 pm
@GoshisDead,
GoshisDead;154615 wrote:
Because like most primate species we are a social creature. We do not function as humans without companionship.



So that need for companionship is a biological thing? It still doesn't answer why some people are cold and detached from even their closest companions and why some people are highly invested in their companions (at an emotional level). I guess that's more my question...
0 Replies
 
mediadrug
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Apr, 2010 05:30 am
@johannw,
Im having the same thoughts at the moment - more specifically in my case the question - is one more resilient to lifes hardships by being independent (no significant other), dependent (a significant other whom you cant be without), or in a co-dependent relationship?

My thoughts at the moment are that after spending so long trying to connect with individuals and trying to create meaningful relationships, I have discovered that my relationship with myself has been strenghtened to the point where I dont actually crave relationships in the way I used to, leading me to think of myself as having gained true independence
johannw
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Apr, 2010 06:41 am
@mediadrug,
mediadrug;155597 wrote:
Im having the same thoughts at the moment - more specifically in my case the question - is one more resilient to lifes hardships by being independent (no significant other), dependent (a significant other whom you cant be without), or in a co-dependent relationship?

My thoughts at the moment are that after spending so long trying to connect with individuals and trying to create meaningful relationships, I have discovered that my relationship with myself has been strenghtened to the point where I dont actually crave relationships in the way I used to, leading me to think of myself as having gained true independence


Yeah, I think that's where I am at, too. I used to always look for companionship, but ever since I took the focus away from that and started looking inwards more, I started growing and becoming stronger as a person of greater conviction and confidence. It's refreshing to know that that kind of thing can happen without the aid of a person to depend on or co-depend on. I feel more comfortable moving forward in life without necessarily having someone to move forward with.

Refreshing thoughts...
mediadrug
 
  1  
Reply Sat 24 Apr, 2010 01:23 pm
@johannw,
johannw;155611 wrote:
Yeah, I think that's where I am at, too. I used to always look for companionship, but ever since I took the focus away from that and started looking inwards more, I started growing and becoming stronger as a person of greater conviction and confidence. It's refreshing to know that that kind of thing can happen without the aid of a person to depend on or co-depend on. I feel more comfortable moving forward in life without necessarily having someone to move forward with.

Refreshing thoughts...


Hi-Five pal! :a-ok:
0 Replies
 
HexHammer
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 May, 2010 09:37 am
@johannw,
johannw;154553 wrote:
Why do you think that people usually have a need for human companionship? Whether it be friendship or romantic relationship.

Why is it that some are more prone to forming strong emotional feelings than others?

Why is it that some people can be cold and detached, even from those considered closest to them, while others look for deep emotional connections with pretty much anyone?

Just out of curiosity...
Imo it all roots in the flok instinct, some have a low/understimulated flock instinct and doesn't really care for social interaction, some have a normal, and some have an overstimulated flok instinct and seek attention obsessivly.
0 Replies
 
Fido
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 May, 2010 08:34 pm
@johannw,
johannw;154553 wrote:
Why do you think that people usually have a need for human companionship? Whether it be friendship or romantic relationship.

Why is it that some are more prone to forming strong emotional feelings than others?

Why is it that some people can be cold and detached, even from those considered closest to them, while others look for deep emotional connections with pretty much anyone?

Just out of curiosity...

I think life is cruel, and cold, and that in the process of being made to fit a not so user friendly world, that we must be made *******s, and hopefully this process begun in youth is reversed in time for people to know some happiness... The normal and natural person is both reasonable and emotional, and with children they are out of balance on the emotional side, and those emotions must be seared and damaged so that people will not cry at every pain and slight or setback... -So that they will not dance for joy at the slightest hope or bound with happiness at the sight of a flower in spring...

The process is like circumcision... People have to be cut off from their emotions, learn when to laugh, or sing, and not to cry... Being able to break down the learning of twenty years is not a task accomplished in another twenty, but those people best set for life are those who have never lost touch with their emotions, but instead have learned to use the drive of emotion with the process of logic to satisfy their needs with people who can enjoy their emotions with them...

I think no one should be too careless in their bonding, and no one should be too reserved... I have trouble with my relationship right now, and I met a woman, the mother of my daughter's friend, and it was her birthday, but though she offered me a hug, or perhaps invited one I could not hug her out of fear that I would enjoy it too much... My daughter said that is just the way I am, but something has changed and it has been a year of change, and now I am much more free with hugs and friendly talk and everything...I honestly felt that I would have been cheating on my distant wife to take so much as an embrace...Because I need that closeness... I want to share...I have been alone all my life, unable to trust, unable to invest myself entirely in my relationships, even with my wife... And now that I can, she is gone...

The point being that the mind follows the fact that we are dieocious, and it takes two people to make a complete biological organism ...It takes love and confort and caring to make us whole, and it does not work more often than not because of who we are and what our individual needs are... But that it works at all is because that closeness, that trust, that intimacy, that love is so essential to a healthy self, even when it means our sense of self is centered outside of our bodies...
0 Replies
 
Theaetetus
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 May, 2010 08:41 pm
@kennethamy,
kennethamy;154597 wrote:
Are these philosophical questions, or are they psychological/anthropological questions?


Well, they are not in the five "traditional" fields of philosophy, but they are a part of social philosophy. This website is not just about philosophy as the header clearly states. Not to mention, what does it matter if they are not philosophical questions since that is what you are implying? If you don't like the question posed by the original post, then don't reply. It would go along way to ending unnecessary tangents and bickering over nonsense. See, had you not posted you utterance, I would not have had to respond with this post that should have been even more unnecessary.
mark noble
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 May, 2010 12:19 pm
@Theaetetus,
Hi All,

I've studied this and conclude thusly: The individual's need for company is dependant on the absence of self-search. Those with the need to define themselves soon realise that, in comparing themselves to others, they only discover dead-ends, for they are ultimately attempting to define the whole. You wont find yourself in a crowd. As for the seemingly comfortable, in the social spectrum, they either believe themselves "found", or aren't even searching. They are comfortably numb. Each to their own...

I'll keep it brief, if you'd like to delve deeper, you need only ask.

Thank you, and seek well.

Mark...
0 Replies
 
blogbomber
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 May, 2010 12:22 pm
@johannw,
johannw;155611 wrote:
Yeah, I think that's where I am at, too. I used to always look for companionship, but ever since I took the focus away from that and started looking inwards more, I started growing and becoming stronger as a person of greater conviction and confidence. It's refreshing to know that that kind of thing can happen without the aid of a person to depend on or co-depend on. I feel more comfortable moving forward in life without necessarily having someone to move forward with.

Refreshing thoughts...



I hear ya on that. I find that the people who are co-dependent emotionally are a group of unstable individuals, rebounds, need for dates, etc... the need to be with somebody in order to feel better about themselves.

It starts from the inside
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