@johannw,
johannw;154553 wrote:Why do you think that people usually have a need for human companionship? Whether it be friendship or romantic relationship.
Why is it that some are more prone to forming strong emotional feelings than others?
Why is it that some people can be cold and detached, even from those considered closest to them, while others look for deep emotional connections with pretty much anyone?
Just out of curiosity...
I think life is cruel, and cold, and that in the process of being made to fit a not so user friendly world, that we must be made *******s, and hopefully this process begun in youth is reversed in time for people to know some happiness... The normal and natural person is both reasonable and emotional, and with children they are out of balance on the emotional side, and those emotions must be seared and damaged so that people will not cry at every pain and slight or setback... -So that they will not dance for joy at the slightest hope or bound with happiness at the sight of a flower in spring...
The process is like circumcision... People have to be cut off from their emotions, learn when to laugh, or sing, and not to cry... Being able to break down the learning of twenty years is not a task accomplished in another twenty, but those people best set for life are those who have never lost touch with their emotions, but instead have learned to use the drive of emotion with the process of logic to satisfy their needs with people who can enjoy their emotions with them...
I think no one should be too careless in their bonding, and no one should be too reserved... I have trouble with my relationship right now, and I met a woman, the mother of my daughter's friend, and it was her birthday, but though she offered me a hug, or perhaps invited one I could not hug her out of fear that I would enjoy it too much... My daughter said that is just the way I am, but something has changed and it has been a year of change, and now I am much more free with hugs and friendly talk and everything...I honestly felt that I would have been cheating on my distant wife to take so much as an embrace...Because I need that closeness... I want to share...I have been alone all my life, unable to trust, unable to invest myself entirely in my relationships, even with my wife... And now that I can, she is gone...
The point being that the mind follows the fact that we are dieocious, and it takes two people to make a complete biological organism ...It takes love and confort and caring to make us whole, and it does not work more often than not because of who we are and what our individual needs are... But that it works at all is because that closeness, that trust, that intimacy, that love is so essential to a healthy self, even when it means our sense of self is centered outside of our bodies...