@jgweed,
Thanks to everyone who replied. I'll try to synthesize your ideas so far.
mindbender offered a list of experiences, which any theory of mind should explain using combinations of simpler and fewer ideas. I'll try to define them in terms of my pet model of sense->goal->means.
instinct: These seem to be goals given to our mind by our biology.
experiences: A mind's beliefs. Ex: temperature.
personality: What might this mean? Maybe part of a person's personality is that they're funny. Could this mean that they discovered that causing others to laugh is a means to their goals just as turning on the furnace is a means to raising the temperature?
aspirations: Conscious goals.
outside influences: A thermostat's certainly influenced by outside. You might a mean more lasting influence, which could easily be the case in a fancy thermostat or governor.
Does this seem to work? Or am I cheating somewhere?
paulhanke seemed to consider a thing capable of 2nd order cybernetic thinking to be more worthy of the word. I don't know anything about 2nd order cybernetics beyond the article you linked and what the name itself suggests. I guess it to mean a thing that doesn't merely model what you would consider to be outside its self, or its physical self, but its own thinking process - presumably like I'm doing with this post. I can understand wanting to limit 'mind' to that threshold, but to me, intuitively, it seems unfair to not use the word for a thing just shy of that standard, a thing that has beliefs, doubts them, has means, knows it has them, experiments with them, retries, communicates with other minds, has at least a coarse sense of itself and seeks to preserve that self, but just doesn't happen to be capable of 2nd order cybernetics-style reflection.
jgweed observed the usual challenges of language. Certainly the meaning of the sign 'mind' is contextual just as the meaning of anything depends on other things, at least in all but the most trivial minds. Still, it's nice to have well defined ideas, and then to attach them to an existing word that's semi-conscious associations fit it. I hope 'mind' fits my idea. Here, in the context of a philosophy forum, I'm going for the ultimate, most abstract, eternally useful sense of mind.
xris, can you, or anyone else, give a specific example of a question that human minds ask about their own existence but that a non-human couldn't? Ideally, a question that's answer would be useful.