Negativity as an unhealthy attitude.

diamantis,

Essentially I believe negativity is the child of fear, if one is afraid because one feels inadequate, the most reasonable thing to do it seems to the fearful, is to negated the circumstances one feels inadequate in relation to. Negation is I fear, often a violence done. I believe that those who tend to be negative are so because that is mostly what they themselves have experienced, and as such, it has been a violation of their own being.

Please define 'negativity'? Anything that makes you feel uncomfortable? That would be pretty shallow and vapid, if so. That is pretty much what I hear when I hear people whining about 'negativity'. Think that you can remove the 'neg' side of a battery and have it continue to function? Do you think that a stilted walking 'smily face' in denial of the depths and nature of his humanity is 'healthy'?
The OP implies that one can be 'one thing', one 'way', one 'mood', one 'feeling' all the time. The reality of life is that human 'moods/feelings' cycle regularly, from moment to moment. To attempt to alter that 'truth' is to invite disappointment, disillusionment, suffering.
Sometimes the cup is half full, sometimes half empty, sometimes too tall...
Perhaps personal 'comfort' is the goal in life for some... it seems rather trite to me.

The problem with negativity is mostly when it is in the hands of authority figures like parents, teachers, politicans ect ect..,. To watch a person being psychologically beaten is a most uncomfortable sight to see. With children if the parent is truely negative and frames the child as such. In other words statement like this to a child, "I do not know why you try, you know you will only fail!" This is not only negative it boarders on criminal. Personally I think under such circumstances the child's spirit is broken before it has been fully awakened. You cannot know from physical appearance if an individual has a negative world view, but certainly after some time in their company it does become obvious, I just simply move away. I believe it is true at least very very often, that fear is the mother of negativity, and negativity can stifle the human spirit. John Wayne

In this case, what you describe is mental and emotional abuse. I think that one degrades the 'value' of (an accurate description of) what is being endured, devalues the actual abuse to bring it under the new age wavy comfortable triteness of calling it 'negativity'. It is not 'negativity', it is abuse. It is not 'negativity', it is rape! It is not 'negativity', it is genocide!
See what I mean? The comfy umbrella of negativity hides the horrors within under an 'agreeable and obfuscatory' label.

nameless,

I was not aware that the term was being used in that manner, to cover more serious offenses. That abuse you pointed out, in many cases it does not amount to anything more the framing the child in the negative. Doing violents to the childs self image, labeling as incompetent, all these things can be done simply with negativity without even so much a harsh word. I do see what you mean though, I would not like to see people get away with this either.

Can't we be negative about some things and positive about others? Or are you referring to some sort of generally negative, pessimistic outlook that certain people have?

Aedes,

Myself I am only concerned with the type of negativity which is directed at an individual whether it be a child or an adult. When the purpose of the negativity is to hurt, damage, shame or limit the capacity of an indivudual, generally this is the violation by authority. Even the teaching profession does not pay proper respect to, or take I think the proper precautions to assure the dignity of the individual. Perhaps that is unfair to many, but I suspect to many it is not. Actually they say that child rearing should be something people must qualify for, as there is more preparation involved if you decide to raise pigs. If it were decided to do something about the violation of say a child's psyche in this way, the structure of the family all most assures that no such intervention will occur. Your thoughts?

I see. Yes, I completely agree. It's about balancing negative criticism with positive feedback sometimes, and not overextending the meaning of negative feedback or overemphasizing it. This is true for both parenting and teaching.

I'm very actively involved with graduate medical education, and I have two critically important (I feel) strategies -- first, I always make sure the good things people do are noticed. This is because people at this level are very self-critical, and you can just destroy them if you only say bad things and nothing good. Second, I always want my trainees to have the opportunity to let their voices and opinions be heard (I refer most specifically to patient management), even if ultimately I disagree. I usually will not overrule their decisions unless I think it will be harmful to a patient. They need to be allowed to make decisions in order to develop any kind of self-confidence. Being a medical student or a resident is like being an apprentice.

And that's true for child-rearing as well. I have less experience with that, though I have a 3 1/2 month old. But I think childhood is a "life" apprenticeship as well. New capabilities introduce new freedoms, and parenting is an opportunity to guide and support these freedoms. Negativity is completely antithetical to this idea.

Aedes,

Congradulations on being a new daddy!! With your perspective I do not think you will violate your authority as a doctor or as a father. I suppose that those people who are likely to violate people who are in their trust do so for a wide expanse of reasons. Many because, in the case of children, they don't know how and at the same time do not have the energy to address this responsibility they have fallen into, probably with little in the way of thought. This leaves however a large portion of children in the hands of largely disinterested parenting units. I do not suppose there are any outright solutions, perhaps the best that could be done is to make small steps into educating the public as to the possiable damages that can be done through this form of negativity.