does a wild bear **** in the woods?

Well, only if there's no one watching. And the toilet paper is sufficiently stocked. And he's got the latest edition of Playboy.

Otherwise, I'd guess he uses the outhouse.

A commercial on TV shows them shitting behind a tree and then using a specific brand of wiping paper. It asserts that no small bits of paper are left on the affected area. I told the wife, "Too bad I'm not a bear. I would like to have tried that stuff."

Saw the ad. CUTE.

I feel that these proverbs are based on some kind of observational fact.

A second one was
Does Howdy Doody have a hickory dick"?

Which one? The original, or the remake by Disney?

have to wait for reyn to chime in on that one

No. They track down a park ranger and inquire as to the availability of comfort stations.

if a half a hen lays a half an egg in a half a day, how many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse

I got nothin for that. Im gonna have to generate an equation.

DISNEY MADE A DOODY?

Is bear **** in the form of turds or patties?

The Doody you see on reyn's avatar was designed by Disney. The original was pretty shabby.

Correction. Disney artist Mel Shaw designed the original.

I am speechless. I only remember the TV DOODY thats on Reyns avatar. What year did Disney redo the Doody?

Im on the back porch with my laptop. . Got a bag of Jalepen'o tater chips and an acai berry beverage. With the exception of annette funicello and valerie bertinelli, I had no identity with anything Disneyish when I was a kid. Tell me DOODY wasnt a DISNEY DROID?

I read quite a few years back that Disney redesigned Doody. Looking on google, all I found is the fact about Disney artist Shaw designing the original. I will look around some more. I do know Disney redesigned Lil Abner.

Like many other programs from the early days of television, what became "The Howdy Doody Show" sprang from radio. Buffalo-born disc jockey Bob Smith broadcast from NBC's New York radio station WEAF. His patter sometimes included a cornpone character named Elmer who greeted people with the words "Well, howdy doody." Picked to lead a children's program on the NBC Eastern network, Smith became "Buffalo Bob" and brought the unseen Elmer with him, rechristening him "Howdy Doody."

"We talked with NBC on a Tuesday, and they wanted the show to air on Saturday," Smith told People in 1987, 40 years after the show made its debut. "We didn't even have a puppet. I said, 'You know, kids, we have a little fella named Howdy Doody, and Howdy wanted to be with me tonight and, well, he just got too bashful, and he is in my desk drawer right here.' Howdy was too bashful for three weeks."

When Howdy finally made his television debut, on the fourth show, Jan. 17, 1948, and Smith recalled, he looked "very, very crude. He was ugly. Just terrible."

He looked nothing like how people remember Howdy today. Created by Frank Paris, Howdy was a goofy looking thing, with jug ears, a mop of orange hair and a big grin. He looked more like an Elmer. In other words, he fit the voice.

Broadcast from NBC's Studio 8A, the show originally was called "The Puppet Playhouse." NBC ran the show commercial-free because no sponsor had signed up yet. Initially on for an hour every Saturday evening, the program expanded to fill an hour three days a week. Within the year, the renamed "Howdy Doody Show" was on every weekday.

"The Howdy Doody Show" remains fixed in the mind today for Buffalo Bob's greeting - "Say, kids. What time is it?" - and the answer: "It's Howdy Doody Time" that sprang forth from the 40 or so kids squeezed in the studio's "peanut gallery."

Smith originally dressed as a ringmaster, and the show bore a circus theme. Smith supplied the voice for Howdy, quickly spoiling the illusion for members of the peanut gallery.

Smith pulled some of his radio helpers over to the television studio. A former NBC page named Bob Keeshan, who was keeping busy running to the New York Public Library to look up historical facts for Smith, came along as an assistant. He handed out prizes. Outfitted in a sportscoat, Keeshan didn't fit in with the circus theme, so he was costumed as a silent clown named Clarabell. Smith slipped him $5 a show.

Eddie Kean, a gag writer recently back from service in World War II, was put to work on the new television show. Paid $75 for that first show, Smith gave Kean $25 of that to write.

Kean began working with Smith in September 1947, when Smith's writer on the radio show left for six months. Kean filled in, churning out gags for Smith's daily, 6-10 a.m. show. Kean said in an e-mail interview that Howdy Doody "unpredictably grew from an intended one-shot Christmas 'special' into what it became" and kept busy on both TV and radio shows. He stuck to Howdy Doody once Smith's old writer returned to the radio show. Kean served as the solo writer for the television show during its first seven years (the show finally left the air in 1960).

"Nearly 2,000 scripts was enough," Kean said.

Then how do you know?

That shall be our new koan. "If a bear takes a dump, and no one is there to see, did it really **** in the woods?"

of course, it **** next to the fallen tree nobody heard

And he wipes his butt with the hand that isn't clapping.

deep