Problems with Judaism

Forums: Religion, Parody, Anti-Semitism
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This thread is to discuss the type of Judaism that has the following beliefs:

1) There is a god called Jahwe.
2) There is a Chosen People championed by Jahwe by virtue of their hooked noses and curly hair.
3) Being championed by Jahwe by virtue of ones hooked noses and curly hair gives an exclusive understanding of absolute truth (as grasped by the Tora, the Talmud, plastic surgery, and hair styling).
4) People who don't accept this truth are inferior.

Well? Any takers?

(For any sarcasm-challenged correspondents who might read this: This is a parody of ebrown p's atheism thread.)

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Type: Discussion • Score: 11 • Views: 5,555 • Replies: 64
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I knew a jewess once who had her hair straightened and had a nose job but she was a jewish/american princess and not orthodox.

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@dyslexia,

Dyslexia, thank you for restoring my faith in intelligent discussion.

1 Reply

@Thomas,

I'm disappointed that, talking about judaism, you don't raise the money question..

Hey, wait, this thread is NOT about stereotypes!!

1 Reply

@Francis,

It's not?

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@Thomas,

Is it?

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I once taught an English class that focused on the pronunciation of Jewish words. It was only the Jewish kids who I had trouble with, until they quit the class.

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@Thomas,

You have curly hair. I'll have to pay more attention to the nose.

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@roger,

Relativist!

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@Thomas,

Revisionist!

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The jews crucified buddha.

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I can't stand the way they're always kvetching . . . they complain about everything . . . it the soup is good, it's too hot . . . if the house is comfortable, it's too cold . . . if the clothes are stylish, they make you look fat . . . it's just one bitch after the other . . . i'll tell ya . . .

Oh . . . uhm, wait . . . never mind.

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They make me jealous, looking like Charleton Heston all the time.

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@roger,

Which reminds, me, did I tell you I liked your hair?

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@Thomas,

Thomas wrote:

This thread is to discuss the type of Judaism that has the following beliefs:

1) There is a god called Jahwe.

Is that his first name or his last name? I've heard his full name is Ralph Jahwe.

2) There is a Chosen People championed by Jahwe by virtue of their hooked noses and curly hair.

Does this mean the rest of us are screwed?

3) Being championed by Jahwe by virtue of ones hooked noses and curly hair gives an exclusive understanding of absolute truth (as grasped by the Tora, the Talmud, plastic surgery, and hair styling).

If I curl my hair and get a nose job can I become chosen?

4) People who don't accept this truth are inferior.

I guess I'm inferior.

(For any sarcasm-challenged correspondents who might read this: This is a parody of ebrown p's atheism thread.)

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I hear they might secretly be accepting Jesus, but reject Gentiles. Possibly due to a belief relating to the percentage of Gentiles that may not truly value higher education?

But, this thread is archaic, since I thought everyone knew that Judaism is not necessarily a religion, but a restricted gene pool. Sort of like a restricted golf course, only the results lead to parents kvelling (puffing up with pride) when children become professionals.

But, notice some of the responses before me are talking about an ethnicity, with supposed humorous stereotypes, not a religion (which would be a response to the Atheism/atheism thread referred to). Yes, adding apples to oranges makes sense.

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I ran a cleaning service for Jews

I called it "The House Goys"

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@Setanta,

Setanta wrote:

I can't stand the way they're always kvetching . . . they complain about everything . . . it the soup is good, it's too hot . . . if the house is comfortable, it's too cold . . . if the clothes are stylish, they make you look fat . . . it's just one bitch after the other . . . i'll tell ya . . .

Oh . . . uhm, wait . . . never mind.

You say this in jest; however, you are talking about actual beliefs of the popular Gentile culture. The utility of Jews is to be the projection of all the negative traits that Gentiles do not want to admit that they might have. What a useful group of people to camouflage the negative traits of much of the western world's people. It is almost algebraic; the more anti-Semitic a group is, the more Jews are used to project negative traits that are denied (aka, reaction formation). Hmmmm, did Germans ever conclude they were superior?

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@Foofie,

That there are antisemitic shithooks who believe such things does not constitute evidence that these things make up a "popular Gentile culture." Can you say paranoid?

1 Reply

@Foofie,

Satirising beliefs only works when there are some genuine beliefs there to satirise.

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Problems with Judaism

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