@Arella Mae,
I am lost here, Arella Mae, and I am going to be blunt, because, as far as I can see, you may be heading for some real problems.
As far as I can tell, you already have two horses you cannot handle, the mare and your gelding.
You are 5' 1", cannot manage a 16.1 hand mare, and are wanting to (I presume) to pay a lot of money to breed her to an even BIGGER horse, to get a BIGGER foal, which, although you already cannot handle two of the horses you have, you believe you are going to be able to raise to be better behaved and manageable than its mother?
While being able to control a horse is generally more skill and psychology than strength, at this point it appears you may be significantly over-horsed for your level of ability, or strength.
I am 5' 6' and could manage my 16.2 boy generally...but when I got on animals better suited for my size, it was like a dream...and as for managing smaller horses on the ground for stuff they didn't like, like drenching, handling any horse but mine was a dream!
However, there were a couple of horses my friends had that I knew I couldn't manage because they needed more skill and confidence than I possessed....even though they were smaller.
Thus, I was over-horsed on these very "hot" animals.
I don't know what the gelding is doing that upsets you, but whatever it is, it seems it is too much for you to cope with, at present. You can't manage the mare's bucking occasionally.
I am wondering how much training you have had in riding and horse management? Do you need to have some more lessons? Do you have opportunities to ride horses that you CAN manage so that you build up confidence and skill?
There certainly are horses out there that almost nobody can manage, but generally speaking, it isn't the horse that needs a shrink, it is the rider who needs help....unless you have a horse that simply IS going to use all its strength, and you just don't have it.
If you can't manage two horses you have, the best thing I can think of is to get help from someone who really knows what they are doing while you are riding them, to see if you can manage them when you have more skill and confidence.
Another thing, you speak of your horses as your kids. That may be all very well and good, but your horses must have no doubt at all that you are the boss...I am wondering if you have allowed them to think of you as equals?
If you doubt this, they feel it instantly. You can see this whenever somebody nervous handles a horse...the horse is resistant or outright "naughty"...as soon as someone confident gets on, they act as though butter won't melt in their mouths.
You know that training a young horse is a very skilled and delicate job? Unless you are VERY skilled, I hope you aren't thinking of breaking in and training any foal that you get?
Sorry to be so blunt, and I may be completely wrong, but horses can break both your heart and your body if you don't know what you are doing. (And your body even when you do...it really is a dangerous occupation, you know.)
Best of luck to you.
