Lost Friends

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While I am certain that there have been threads on this topic, how many of you find that despite the Internet, there are old friends that you simply can not find?

I have been thinking of three friends from Detroit that I would love to hear from . . . or, at least, hear of.

One was a woman, so it is possible that she married and has a new surname. She was humorous, insightful, compassionate. I knew her through a bookstore job and the assistant manager remarked after she left (to help her mother care for her father who had by-pass surgery) that people at the store were nicer to each other because they knew her. I have never heard of a lovelier thing said about a human being.

The other was a very scholarly man I knew in grad school at WSU. After finishing his master's, he opened a bookstore (and okie insists no hippies ever ran businesses!). I went to visit his store not long after it opened. WHile I was there, his parents, from whom he had been estranged, came to the store. Their gesture pleased him enormously.

The third was a lively man who was full of enthusiasm for new projects, for building things, for life. The last time I saw him, he was studying cement boats.

Every two to three years, I have attempted to find them. I went so far as to send a letter to a woman in Lincoln Park, Michigan with the same name. She wrote a kind letter back with the bad news that she was not my friend.

While I have reconnected with people I had forgotten or thought I would never find again on Facebook, I wish I could find these three.

Do you have any lost friends that you would like to find?

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Type: Discussion • Score: 6 • Views: 2,562 • Replies: 27

[+3] - plainoldme - 04/04/2010I bet he'd be happy to hear from you. My kids have gone back to visit former teachers and those teachers have always been happy to see them. While you don't seem to be interested in seeing him...

Yes, I too have those few people that despite all the ways to keep in touch I can't seem to find. It's not some driving desire, but more of a very deep curiosity about how they are doing.

One is an old crush from my grade school days. We weren't really boyfriend or girlfriend (it was grade school for cryin' out loud) but we were really good friends.

One is a very good friend I had in my junior high days. She lived next door to me and we were very close. Eventually her parents moved, but we still kept in touch. They moved again and contact became less frequent until it just kind of petered out. We crossed paths several years after our last contact, but both were in a hurry in opposite directions we chit-chatted for a minute and I found out that her dad had passed recently and things were rough because of that but, somehow, we never got to exchange information and I don't know how to find her.

I have tried facebook as well, but so many people have the same name and most people do not use their own pictures as their avatars so it makes it a daunting task.

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I lost track of a Navy pal. I knew he was a dentist and that he could live in Michigan, the Dakotas and a couple of other places. I used the on line phone directories and very quickly narrowed it down. I mailed four letters to four persons and he answered right away.

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@edgarblythe,

That must have been rewarding. I actually did find a college friend who is an attorney. Attorneys and physicians were always easy to find, even before the internet existed. The AMA keeps track of doctors and there were lists of practicing lawyers at the public library. However, for years, I assumed he stayed in Michigan. When I opened up the search, I found he had a rather interesting career that took him through teaching and private practice in several states. We did catch up with each other.

These other three simply can not be found.

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@plainoldme,

Quote:

Do you have any lost friends that you would like to find?

I'd been trying to find my closest friend from high school for years & years, with no success at all. I figured she must have left the country, or something. Then, just one FaceBook entry - no photograph, no details, no nothing else - she materialized, day 2 after she joined. Turns out she'd been trying to track me down for years, too. It was just fantastic to catch up again!

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50 some odd years ago, I left a friend, one David Brimhall,
in Phoenix, Arizona, when I returned to NY. I had his address
but lost track of it n never used it to write.
Maybe about 10 years ago, in a spirit of nostagia,
I used an on-line service to find him in Arizona.
There were around 20 of them there, none of whom proved to be him.

The same story with my former next door nabor in Queens, NY.
He has a very common name among Italians: Joe Russo.
The last that I knew of him, he 'd moved out on Long Island.
About the same time as my unsuccessful effort to find David,
I got the fone books for the 2 counties of Long Island
and (predictably) found a lot more guys of that name,
all of whom proved not to be him.

A few days ago, I had contact with a fellow with whom I was
in Young Americans for Freedom in the 1960s, originally formed
in support of Barry Goldwater. This fellow showed up in "Classmates"
but we were more political associates, rather than friends.

David

1 Reply

@OmSigDAVID,

Two of my lost friends have uncommon names . . . or, so I think . . . my Lebanese woman friend might have a name more common among people of middle eastern origin. In fact, the name has a Greek ring to it although the spelling is Lebanese. And, as she married once, she may have married again and taken her husband's name.

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@plainoldme,

Married names certainly must make it a lot harder for females.

Years ago, when I was a young attorney,
I made much use of private detectives
to find potential defendants and witnesses.
One day, I called my best private detective, Sam K,
and asked him to find an old girlfriend from some
20 years before, of whom I 'd lost track.

I gave him her last known name, address in Queens, NY
and fone number around 9 AM. Before lunchtime, he gave
me her new (unlisted) fone number in New Jersey,
her married name and her address along with a brief
biografy of herself and some of her family members.
I had known her in classroom number 216, which we
were called upon to write on our papers many times
a day; I associated number 216 with her in my memory.

I decided to call the New Jersey telefone Information
operator to confirm that her number was unlisted.
I called New Jersey Information and the operator
answered saying: "Operator 216, can I help u ?"

David

1 Reply

@msolga,

It is fantastic! Congratulations!

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@OmSigDAVID,

I was under the impression that all attorneys had access to all phone numbers, listed or not, through the police, who have all numbers and automatically release them to attys.

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@plainoldme,

The answer to that question is no the police do not give attorneys access to phone numbers that the public isn't allowed to have. Attorneys don't get special privileges.

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@TTH,

Interesting. I was told by a couple of attorneys that the situation was as I described. When a friend of my ex was killed in an auto accident, his father was able to call my ex, although the phone was unlisted. His father was an atty, so I assumed that is how he found our number.

1 Reply

@plainoldme,

Maybe there was a police report filed and that info was in the report? The public can have access to certain reports and certain info in those reports.

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I'd love to find one of my old teachers from high school, he was our sole shop teacher....he taught wood, metal, plastics, drafting, electronics, small engines...etc.

He was a very intellegent man, of very few words, that taught in a school that greatly underappreciated his talents and worth....many of his students thought the same. Shortly after I graduated...maybe the same year, all shop classes were cancelled, due to lack of interest and poor grades....and he moved away. He had roots in Ky, and most of the teachers that I've asked have said they thought he had gone back home.

I've been looking for him for 15 yrs or so, no serious looking, just casual....but about a month ago, I decided that it would be a good idea to buy a shop coat. I am in my shop nearly every day, and a great deal of the time I'm in regular cloths, not work cloths....a shop coat would save me many ass chewins for ruining new or good shirts. So, now I'm thinking it would be really cool if I could track him down, and if for some reason he kept one or several of his coats, he would part with one. That would really mean something to me.

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@2PacksAday,

Hire a private detective.

David

1 Reply

@OmSigDAVID,

Well, I think I'll just go to the school board, I know most of them, and ask if they can track him down for me...he was in his late 40's then, 20 yrs ago, and I'm sure he is drawing a pension from Missouri.

He has a very common name, in fact, I just looked on facebook again, and there are 294 of them.

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@2PacksAday,

2PacksAday wrote:

Well, I think I'll just go to the school board, I know most of them,
and ask if they can track him down for me...he was in his late
40's then, 20 yrs ago, and I'm sure he is drawing a pension from Missouri.

He has a very common name, in fact, I just looked on facebook again, and there are 294 of them.

294 = a lot of work.

If u need to, u might hire a private detective;
thay did not cost much, when I used them, years ago.
I found their results to be very good; not infallible, but ofen very impressive.
Thay worked fast, too.

David

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@2PacksAday,

I bet he'd be happy to hear from you. My kids have gone back to visit former teachers and those teachers have always been happy to see them. While you don't seem to be interested in seeing him face to face, an email or snail mail about how much you appreciated him would make him feel terrific.

1 Reply

@plainoldme,

It would be great to see him in person...just have to find him first.

Several of my former teachers {well, the ladies} have recieved a hand delivered rose, on the day of their retirement. I thought very highly of them back then, and just wanted to make sure that 10-15-20 odd years later that they knew I still think highly of them...in many ways even more so. It's hard to pick a favorite, but I do have one that sits at the top of the list, and I get to see and talk to her often. She still takes the money at the gates for the football games, as well as the basketball and volleyball games.

The last time I talked to her, she told me that she planned on giving it up in the next few years....she is still young, around 50....but a great deal has changed since I graduated, and our whole school district is in dire straits, so she thinks it's time to move on and try something different for the last years of her working life.

1 Reply

@2PacksAday,

You sound like a nice person

1 Reply

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