Just whatever

without your mind are you really there?

If the battery is dead can the car run on zen?

Only if you put it in gear, have your buds push, then pop the clutch. The car will run on the alternater but don't shut it off

Couple of other things.... make sure the brake is off and select a lower gear or your buds will lose a few teeth on the trunk lid when you pop the clutch....

PS .... turn the key on ...

What if I throw it in reverse?

Light out for the woods cause your buds won't be too happy with you when they come to

Happier times.....

I'm a victim of coicumstance.

WACKY NEW CRIME FIGHTER . . . WEDGIE MAN
- MASTER OF THE ATOMIC WEDGIE!

By NIGEL FLEMING

A NEW super-hero has come to the aid of terrified citizens in crime-infested Los Angeles. The police have nicknamed him Wedgie Man, because he sneaks up on perpetrators and gives them a mighty wedgie they'll never forget.

Even though Wedgie Man's actions are illegal, police throughout the state are secretly rooting for the red-caped, masked vigilante. "He's like Charles Bronson in Death Wish, only without the killing and maiming. He makes low-life thugs think twice before they snatch a purse or pick some unsuspecting tourist's pocket. They never know when Wedgie Man will sneak up behind them and yank their underwear high into that place where the sun don't shine," says one police spokesman.

Wedgie Man is described as a white male in his late twenties or early thirties. He is roughly 6 feet tall, with brown hair and his teeth are yellow and large.

"Because of him, I quit mugging sightseers at the La Brea Tar Pits," says Noel Schmelling, 34. "I'll never forget that Sunday morning when I was taking this old geezer's watch and dentures. Suddenly, I felt a hand grab the elastic band of my underwear. Then my heart nearly stopped beating as the guy yanked and pulled until I nearly lost consciousness.

"The whole horrible incident is kind of blurry, but I remember him saying in a high-pitched voice, 'Next time you'll get an atomic wedgie!' Sweet Moses . . . that was enough to end my life of crime. I enrolled in electrolysis college the very next day and never even thought about mugging anyone again."



Since Wedgie Man made his first appearance in June 2004, police estimate that he has struck at least 50 times. "He's unstoppable," liquor store owner Curtis Zittleman says.

"I saw the masked dude perform a rare feat -- he gave two punks who'd just robbed my store simultaneous hanging wedgies. They screamed like sissy boys when Wedgie Man pulled them up off the ground and hung them on a chain-link fence by the waistbands of their underwear. They were wailing like babies when police arrived."

After Wedgie Man prevented a 350-pound gorilla of a goon from stealing her prized 1969 Ford Pinto by giving him a double- handed power wedgie, Sheila Lepke, 89, shared a prune Danish with her hero. "Aren't you afraid of armed criminals?" she asked.

"Wedgie Man just shook his head," Lepke remembers. "And then he said, 'Criminals, shmiminals. Evildoers with guns, clubs, knives and surface-to-air missiles don't scare me. It is they who should fear me, for I possess the most lethal weapon of all: The wedgie. And if the situation deteriorates and I need to bolster my assault, I am also a master of the dreaded noogie and the despised wet willy."

Criminals should be very afraid of Wedgie Man. He's on a mission. He's relentless. And he's cracking down on crime -- one crack at a time.

In breakthrough, cloned wildcats prove ability to reproduce
August 22, 2005

[three cloned African wildcats]
And then there were eight... In what is seen here as another breakthrough for bioengineering, three cloned African wildcats living in the United States have produced two healthy litters of kittens, demonstrating for the first time that clones of wild animals can breed.



For the first time ever, two unrelated clones of a wild species have bred naturally to produce healthy babies. Unrelated endangered African wildcat clones have given birth to a total of eight babies. These births advance the science of high-tech reproduction for endangered species by confirming that clones of wild animals can breed naturally, making critically important contributions to shrinking gene pools of animals on the brink of extinction.

Two litters of kittens produced by natural breeding of cloned African wildcats have been born at Audubon Center for Research of Endangered Species. The first five kittens were born on July 26, 2005 to the African wildcat Madge, who is a clone of the wildcat Nancy. The second litter, consisting of three kittens, was born on August 2 to the African wildcat Caty, also a clone of the wildcat Nancy. The father of both litters is Ditteaux, a clone of the African wildcat Jazz. Jazz made headlines when he was born as the result of transfer of cryopreserved ("frozen") embryos to a domestic cat.

The successful experiment, unveiled by the Audubon Center for Research of Endangered Species in New Orleans, Louisiana, over the weekend, appeared to open the way to bringing severely endangered species back from the brink of extinction, scientists said.

But it also raised the question if Jurassic Park, a fictional nature preserve teaming with cloned dinosaurs and velociraptors invented by popular novelist Michael Crichton and popularized in a blockbuster 1993 movie, was getting closer to becoming a reality.

"The science which produced these beautiful kittens is nothing short of wondrous," commented Ron Forman, president and chief executive of the Audubon Nature Institute. "We are thrilled to play a part in a scientific journey holding such enormous potential for the world's animals."

Scientists said the newly-born kittens will be shown to the public at Audubon Zoo in New Orleans later on this year.

But they will be returned to the research center for more study as they grow up and start displaying their mature wildcat instincts.

Source

Dodos will soon be available as pets.

i don't want a dodo, why doesn't science do something really useful and genetically design grass (for your lawn) that requires little water and only grows to be about two inches tall (i mean we have all kinds of dwarf bushes and trees), this may sound stupid, but think of the fuel savings and air quality benefits if you never had to cut your grass again, plus the water conservation

"dwarf bushes"?

(Damn, the Rove thread is locked.)

SHOCKING STEROID SCANDAL AT DOG SHOW

By BERNARD DANE

NEW YORK, N.Y. -- Steroids have reared their ugly head in the unlikeliest of places: The hallowed benching areas of the dog show circuit.

The showplace of the world's toniest canines is embroiled in a steroid controversy brought to light by these exclusive photos taken by Weekly World News. The shocking series was snapped outside the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show in New York.



The photos show Mr. Parsley, a 4-year old German shepherd, being fed dog biscuits in the shape of barbells by his owner, veterinarian Mary Jane Snow.

Weekly World News also collected crumbs from the treat and took them to our New York laboratory. Tests show that they contained corn meal, white flour, beef stock -- and sphingosine-derived lipids from pit bulls. In other words, anabolic steroids.

"Even his tail had muscles," says Maggie Burbank, whose 3- year-old Shetland sheepdog Aniston was literally pushed from the Herding Class pre-trials by Mr. Parsley. "My poor baby is suffering acute post traumatic stress from the experience. Whenever another dog comes near, Aniston just flops on her back and wets herself. I don't think her selfesteem will ever get to the level it once was."

Judges initially became suspicious of something amiss when the triumphant Mr. Parsley stood on his hind legs and ran up the stairs of Madison Square Garden, Rocky-style. They put a 'temporary leash' on the German shepherd's victory until an investigation could be conducted. Weekly World News turned over the findings of its own independent inquiry. The judges ordered a urine test. The first test came back negative, but also with readings that it was human urine -- specifically, that of Dr. Snow. A second test was ordered. That one came back positive and resulted in Mr. Parsley's shameful disqualification.

Informed of the decision, the dog went berserk and had to be tranquilized by security forces. Dr. Snow wept openly as a half-dozen paramedics carried the limp Mr. Parsley to a waiting ambulance.

"This is so unfair," sobbed Dr. Snow. "We have never used performance enhancing drugs at a dog show. Mr. Parsley is just very driven and very competitive, a classic alpha dog."

Dr. Snow also fiercely denied having provided judges with her own urine for the drug tests.

"There was a long line at the rest room and I used a coffee cup," she says. "They must have grabbed that by accident."

Dr. Snow adamantly dismissed the photographs and lab results as "all bark and no bite. It's like those reports last year that the highly favored cocker spaniel Gloved Wonder was molesting under-age bitches. They were all lies but it cost him the Best in Show title."

Reminded that she was the one who first reported those rumors, Dr. Snow ended the interview. Shawn Bartels, author of the new book Juiced: Wild Nights at the Kennel Club, says that the problem of what they call "muscle mud" on the street is reaching epidemic levels in the dog show world. Bartels spoke with Weekly World News from prison, where he is serving a 4- day sentence for fraud after entering a dog in the Topeka Canine Celebration that had caps on its teeth, a fur transplant and colored contact lenses.

"The truth is that Mr. Parsley's handler was stupid," Bartels declared. "Every dog is on the 'mud' now. Mary Jane just went too far." The phenomenon of doggy steroids first surfaced eight years ago in Tijuana, Mexico, where "mud" was used to create "Perros Excelentes," or Super Dogs. Bartels directed us to Dr. Cesar Ramirez a researcher at the Vera Cruz Pet Museum.

"Yes, I am the father of the 'mud,' " says Dr. Ramirez. "But we used it for good. We bred Border collies that tracked drug smugglers, created super sheep-herders, and made a terrier that catches Frisbees like you wouldn't believe. But the very drug dealers our dogs were tracking captured the collies, recreated the formula in a 'black lab,' and sold the performance enhancing treats on the Internet."

Officials at kennel clubs worldwide are keeping mum as to whether they'll make drug testing mandatory. Golden Global Kennel Club spokesperson Barbara Chen would only say that so far Mr. Parsley's case is "an isolated incident."

"I hope that owners will selfregulate before we have to," she added. "It would get really complicated, not to mention noisy, if we had to have police dogs watching the other dogs at our events."

As for Mr. Parsley, he is back at her home in Lowell, Mass., where he is preparing for a U.S. tour with the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus.

"He needs the spotlight," Dr. Snow told us before running off. "I'm hoping to get him on Letterman as well."

FATAL FARTS!
... Now their butts can do something good for society

By TAYLOR BRIDGES

TEXAS -- the state that executes more killers than any other -- has decided to save money by using other prisoners to gas murderers to death with their farts.

Budget officials say it costs a staggering $13,331 for the equipment and personnel used to execute a murderer by lethal injection. But using the stinking bowel gas of a dozen inmates stuffed with Heinie's Pork & Beans only costs the state $17.50 for the two cases of beans -- and less if they're on sale that week!

"We'll save more than $13,300 per execution using this new kind of gas chamber," says budget committee head Darrin Rammick. "And when you break it down, they almost pay for themselves."

He says the plan calls for executions to take place in a furnace-equipped chamber with multiple vents extending from the exterior walls. The future dead man will be locked inside and the 12 "executioners" -- who will have been fed nothing but baked beans for two days prior to the event -- simply spread their cheeks and saddle up to the vents.

Once given the signal, the beanies are free to fire their butt bombs into the stall.

Within minutes, the furnace will have toasted the noxious fumes up to a steamy 110 degrees, making them incredibly ripe -- and fiercely fatal.



"The fumes are toxic enough by themselves," Rammick explains. "But by heating them up above 100 degrees they become systematically deadly -- especially in such large quantities.

"Three or four prison pooters could probably cause a man to pass out unconscious, but 12 would absolutely kill him." And Rammick expects this new execution style will not only revolutionize Texas' capital punishment method, but other states' as well.

"When other governments realize the cost-effectiveness of our gas chamber, other governments will certainly follow suit."

Once the actual chamber is built, the only recurring costs will be the cans of beans -- which Rammick points out "are pretty cheap if you buy them in bulk."

And it takes the burden of killing another human being off the typical executioner.

"All these fatal farters are on death row because they already killed somebody anyway," he says, "and now their killer butts can do something good for society.

"Besides, they've already done enough bad things, so they should have no problem making an ass of themselves."

A little bit about everywhere

Great info Gel, you always manage to find good websites to ponder.

HeyColor and thx... I should do more surfing and probably will in a bit. Got some stuff to deal with first.