Big Agribiz Sez: Eat More Liquified Chicken Parts, Goddammit

Big Agribiz Sez: Eat More Liquified Chicken Parts, Goddammit
Mark Morford 9/29/03

A more focused ConAgra Foods toxic monolith will be presented to shareholders Thursday, as CEO Bruce Rohde continues shedding low-margin fresh meat and chicken businesses in favor of crappy branded products that poison the nation with heavily processed canned crap that you probably shouldn't even feed to your dog.

ConAgra, which is short for either Consolidated Agriculture or Constipated Agreggate Garbage Food or Conniving Agrarian Toxicity Ha Ha Die Die Die You Idiot Consumers, with brands like, Banquet, Orville Redenbacher's, Healthy Choice (hee hee), Kid Cuisine, Hunt's, Reddi-wip, Blue Bonnet, Slim Jim, and Chef Boyardee, is one of the largest and most deeply frightening and wholly poisonous of the mega argibiz corporations and add nothing of value to the national consciousness and in fact work very hard to lower the collective vibration via mass-produced environmentally harmful toxic foodstuffs. But that's just an opinion.

"More frozen fried chicken nuggets in tin foil!" Rohde did not scream to his team of heavily narcotized execs from his throne made of sawed-off baby chicken beaks and mysterious gristle. "Go go go!"

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2003/09/24/financial0101EDT0006.DTL&nl=fix