All I want is to be able to talk on the phone occasionally. I have a computer, so I don't need a smartphone.
Ideally, I'd pay $30/month or less.
TracPhone looks workable. Are there other cheap cellphone options available?
Toavoid losig the cell phone again and taking a clue from Lt. Sheisskoph (Catch 22) when he wanted to perfect the perfect marching soldier, try attaching it to a chain that is surgically implanted to your wrist and hip bones.
I'd recommend titanium screws, since the body is a pretty corrosive place. The chain would dangle loosely between the hip and wrist, and the cell phone would be on a ring so it could slide back and forth from the storage location to the deployment location.
It would also look pretty pretty spiffy, and would be a great accoutrement if you ever wanted to take up precision cell phone drill team marching.