Getting A Toddler to Eat

Forums: Toddlers, Finicky Eaters, Parenting
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My baby used to love everything! She'd eat her weight in food every day, I swear. But now, she won't eat anything. And I mean that pretty literally. She has just been to the doctor and is healthy and fine but yesterday, for example, all I could get her to eat was 1-2 tiny bites of chicken, oatmeal and fruit loops. All day. Some days she'll eat peas. (like the other day when all she ate all day was Peas and Fruit Loops) Some days I can get her to eat pancakes or eggs. Sometimes, some chicken. But rarely. It's been like this for about 2 weeks now. She'll sometimes eat pizza. No PB just yet. Doesn't like raw veggies. Never really cared much for fruit. I can't think of anything else to give her that she'll eat.

Any ideas? What did you do during your toddlers picky times?

I am starting to worry that she'll not be getting enough good stuff. One or two days of crappy eating is one thing... but this is getting out of hand.

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Type: Question • Score: 12 • Views: 2,873 • Replies: 33

[+3] - DrewDad - 12/31/2008Toddlers get picky when they get pretty mobile; I think it's an evolutionary adaptation to keep them from poisoning themselves with whatever they can get their hands on. My advice is: don't go...

@Bella Dea,

It sounds like you are doing what I did. I just kept offering a little of everything to them. The Dr. told me to remember their stomach is the size of their fist. And that they will eat when they are hungry. One to two bites of anything is actually quite good according to him. Believe it or not they will get through this stage. And mine still go through it sometimes. It is easier to make them eat 2 bites of everything now though.

Just makes sure she is getting a vitamin and plenty of milk (or whatever you use for her calcium intake). It is frustrating - I bet especially since she is eaten so well previously - just chalk it up to her being a toddler....hope it goes quickly for you! Good Luck! (we all make it through believe it or not!)

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@Bella Dea,

Toddlers get picky when they get pretty mobile; I think it's an evolutionary adaptation to keep them from poisoning themselves with whatever they can get their hands on.

My advice is: don't go nuts catering (ha!) to this behavior. If she's hungry, she'll eat. Give her several healthy choices, in small portions, and don't let her snack between meals.

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Snack? Ha! I'm lucky if I can even get her to snack these days! LOL

Thanks guys...I guess what I needed was affirmation that this is normal and that I am not a terrible mom who's letting her kid starve. LOL

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@Bella Dea,

Oh! You're playing the "am I a good mommy?" game. That's a game you can never, ever, win.

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@DrewDad,

I agree completely with DrewDad.

Nature has provided a perfectly good way to get kids (and people in general) to eat. It is called hunger.

Mija went through this phase, and for a while we were bending over backwards to get her to eat anything.... this ended up being mostly cake, sweet cereal and cheese; not a good diet.

When we thought about it, we got a bunch of healthy food for her to eat for each day (there was some compromises for her tastes). Then we let her decide when to eat it or not.

For us, things were much healthier when we insisted she eat a variety of good food (and didn't give her access to anything else)... but stopped forcing her to eat on our schedule.

You can't argue with hundreds of thousands of years of evolution.

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@Bella Dea,

Quote:

I guess what I needed was affirmation that this is normal and that I am not a terrible mom who's letting her kid starve.

You are doing great - she is in good hands!

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@mismi,

Quote:

I guess what I needed was affirmation that this is normal and that I am not a terrible mom who's letting her kid starve.

Don't worry. I am a terrible dad, and my kid still hasn't starved.

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@Bella Dea,

Quote:

Food Neophobia-The Developmental Basis for "Picky Eating"

"An often unrecognized developmental milestone in young children's eating behavior is food neophobia-literally translated as the fear of new foods."
An often unrecognized developmental milestone in young children's eating behavior is food neophobia-literally translated as the fear of new foods. Infants and young children are predisposed to neophobia, which typically presents between 18-24 months of age. Children previously judged as "good eaters" often begin to reject new foods and exhibit refusals of formerly accepted, familiar items. This is a particularly confusing and worrisome time for parents who fear the child will suffer growth or health problems that stem from a less than balanced diet. Escalating parent-child power struggles during mealtime can perpetuate the problem.

http://www.hersheys.com/nutrition-professionals/children/innate.asp

Quote:

Parents who struggle with their children's picky eating may not be aware that neophobia is a normal stage of development and that consistency, patience, and endurance are the keys to helping children increase the variety in their diets. Research findings stress the importance of early experience and opportunities for learning. The most consistent findings reveal that children like what they know and come to accept new foods if provided repeatedly, in a non-coercive manner.

Quote:

The variability in young children's energy intake at individual meals is quite high. However, collapsed over a 24-hour period, children's energy intake is relatively consistent.

http://www.hersheys.com/nutrition-professionals/children/self_regulation.asp

semi-translation : good to be aware, best not to worry

You're doing well.

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I agree with the don't cater advice...

My cousin catered to her son's pickiness. All he would eat was m&m's and Mc nuggets. That's ALL he ate.
And it had to be Mc Donald's nuggets, no other.
I can't say for sure what's happened. Her and I don't talk much anymore. She went off the deep end of child rearing and hasn't returned.

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@ehBeth,

Yep. DrewDad put it well, too.

There's also the tidbit about a child needing to be introduced to something some high-ish number of times -- 10? -- before taking to it. Many parents just give up after the 3rd or 4th try and say "Little Madison doesn't like carrots" forever after.

The mobility aspect is big. Two concepts helped us a lot during this time:

1.) Grazing. The idea of eating a little, then zooming off to some new adventure. That's OK. The idea is to make healthy foods accessible and interesting. We used empty ice cube trays with little bits of this and that in each compartment. I remember avocado cubes were huge at that age, also mango. And goldfish crackers, and bits of broccoli, etc., etc. Just fill the thing up, and then pop it in and out of the fridge as necessary. Saves agita. (Part of the frustration is creating a Meal and then the kid only picks at it.)

2.) Averaging. My doctor to consider things on the scale of a week at this age, rather than a day. She ate nothing but chicken Monday, nothing but broccoli Tuesday, nothing but mango Wednesday, (etc.)? That's fine. Averages out to a nice healthy meal over the course the the week.

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@sozobe,

One other part of the ice cube tray thing is the autonomy/ power aspect. At this age they seem to really prefer to make a CHOICE rather than just take whatever is presented to them.

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@sozobe,

Quote:

My doctor to consider things on the scale of a week at this age, rather than a day

I had forgotten about that Soz - that was a big help.

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@Bella Dea,

Bella Dea wrote:

My baby used to love everything!

I think the key is in ^^^. She's not a baby anymore. She's moving onto new developmental stages faster than Mommy's ready.

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@mismi,

Eek, and very ungrammatical, sorry. "My doctor told me to consider..." Glad you figured out my meaning.

Good point about baby/ toddler, Beth.

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As Noddy told me when I asked this same question about Jillian....

Children will not starve themselves to death. Let her hunt and peck and count your blessings for less dish washings..

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@Bella Dea,

bd :

here is one way to keep track of things :
- weigh your baby once a week at the same time ; perhaps best just after the baby wakes ,
- keep track of the weight ,
- if after a period of 4 weeks your baby is continously loosing weight , you may want to consult a pediatrician .

pediatricians seem to be more concerned about babies gaining weight too quickly than those having a very slow but steady weight gain - easy does it .
if your baby is not listness or shows other problem signs , you probably have nothing to worry about .
what about yourself : do you always eat the same amount of food or do the quantities vary from time to time ?
i know someone who as a baby emptied the sugarbowl (GRIN) , she pretty well has stayed away from too many sweets ever since !
i'm sure things will be fine - and all the best for you and your baby for 2009 and many years to come !
hbg

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when I saw the thread title I thought for a minute it was about where to go to get a good toddler to eat.
I guess different places cook them different ways.

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@Bi-Polar Bear,

BPB :

didn't maude say : "god will punish you for that ! " ?
hbg

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http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes-and-cooking/tips-for-kid-friendly-vegetable-dishes/index.html

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Getting A Toddler to Eat

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