my wife is pregnant.

Thanks for your understanding response shewolf... The biggest issue is the unrealistic expectations that society puts on expectant fathers these days. It is a pretty stressful thing where you are going to end up upsetting someone (if not your wife.. certainly her family or friends). There isn't much support for fathers. After all this is a life changing and emotional experience for him too.

An expectant mother is allowed to be grumpy. She can make any request and is told to "take care of herself". Her needs are important. Her emotions are to be respected and accepted. In fact, an expectant mother can do no wrong.

An expectant father can do no right.

I understand exactly where you were coming from. Women get all of the attention while the men are expected to give and give and give and get nothing back. But you know what? I still think you're stretching it. It can never be harder on the man. The physical changes alone would render many men unfunctional.

Ah, I'm more attuned to Navigator's wife's cramps. What is that about? Not sure of anything here.

This is an awfully sexist thing to say. I have already said I would gladly trade places.

If men got all the attention while women were expected to give and give and give and get nothing back... would you say this would render many women unfunctional?

I see your point EB, ... like 100%

but I have to say that not all women , and not all pregnancies are like this, and on this side of the fence, it seems more sexist to the woman then the man..

yes. society has a horrid undercurrent of " bend over everyone and cater to the pregnant woman'
The last thing I was , was helpless while I was pregnant. And when my doctor told me bed rest for almost 2 months, I was furious.. ( though I was a super high risk pregnancy.. I underSTAND it.. but hated it all the same)

A pregnant woman is NOT incapable of going to the grocery store for that bottle of ranch dressing to put on her chocolate chip cookies...... . people just expect the man to do it as a sign of affection, no matter what he is doing.
It is almost that women are too 'weak' to do for themselves and too 'over occupied' while pregnant to take care of themselves.
What? just because I am having a baby, I can not do laundry? I can not go shopping for food? I can not work?

Sheesh... look at those migrant women working in the fields alllll the way up to labor. Sorry, our bodies do not require a full pause in life just to have a baby. I am not weak, out of control and in desperate need of 'assistance' simply because I am pregnant.

Sometimes I see it as MORE sexist to the woman.
But I also see how I can remove the word and idea of 'woman' and apply that concept to the husband and come out with the same exact idea, emotion and frustration.

I agree with you Shewolf...

First, for Navigator if he is still listening... Although it is a wonderful thing a pregnancy certainly adds stress to a relationship. How a pregnancy works depends a lot on how the marriage works. As is true in anything in marriage, it works best when both partners work hard to be understanding and supportive.

This is why I was wasn't completely joking when I suggested flowers. Little acts of kindness go a long way toward making any relationship issues easier to resolve.

In my experience, the pressure I felt came from outside the immediate family.

I lost count of how many people who admonished me that now I had to "help" with housework. The implication is that I, as a man, don't normally "do" (not help with) house work-- this was especially true near the end of the pregnancy when I was doing nearly all of the housework (and I wasn't angry at my wife for not "helping"). I came close to strangling those nosy idiots who felt I needed their judgmental advice.

The tags on this thread are interesting; they include "Cultural differences" and "Middle East".

I guess I can kind of understanding the "Cultural differences" aspect... even though as far as I can tell, this entire discussion has been about modern Western culture.

But a "Middle East" tag... what the heck is that about?

Congratulations! What wonderful news.

Congrats, Navigator.

I have no idea what EBrown is whining about.

Well, that sounded strange, as if I didn't think it might be morning sickness. But I was focused on maybe not that. Bet it is though, so never mind.

Adds - Navigator is from somewhere in the middle east area.

I clicked on the Middle East tab and lo, this thread came up. What does this thread have to do with the Middle East?

Thanks everybody, sorry for being late. Everything is going well, the only

thing I was concern about is the stomach disturbance thing and the recurrent

going to toilet for you know thing. Now she is fine, but sometimes a pain

happens under the uterus , but now is almost disappear.


About the doctor, we are planning to go tomorrow . We didn't find the time.

Thanks everybody for being here.

That was sort of my thoughts too...

The cramping can be in early pregnancy, implantation and all that jazz, the uterus starting to change.

It's normal but should go away soon.

Congrats!