☎ Interesting ways to deal with telemarketers

Here's one I posted several years ago:

The phone rang just as we were sitting down to dinner. I answered it and was greeted with, "Is this William Wagenhoss?"

This didn't sound anything like my name, so I asked, "Who is calling?"

The telemarketer said he was with The Rubberband-Powered Freezer Company or something like that. I asked him if he knew William personally and why was he was calling this number. I then said, off to the side, "Get really good pictures of the body and all the blood." I turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had entered a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced this call and he would be receiving a summons to appear at the local courthouse to testify in this murder case.

I questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone
number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call.

The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice.

I proceeded to tell him we had located his position at his work place and
the police were entering the building to take him into custody.

At this point, I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away.

My wife asked me as I returned to our table, why I had tears streaming down
my face and so help me, I couldn't tell her for about fifteen minutes. My
food was cold, but oh-so-very enjoyable.

Tom Mabe is a funny guy...

I put a sales pitch back at them, if I talk at all.

I just forwarded this video to several friends and family.

Ooops! Same story, but not as elaborate.

Me too. That was a riot!

Even more annoying is when the telemarketer isn't even a real person. the other day at work i got a phone call and an electronic voice started in with the sales pitch...

though I guess I never feel as guilty hanging up on a machine.

I like Jery Seinfeld's way - Who? Oh, sorry, I'm busy right now. If you give me your phone number I'll call you back.....

If the call is to switch your phone carrier, you've just got to see how long you can dandle them along with the idea that you don't need their service because you don't have a telephone.

Anybody have any ideas as to how to deal with these electronic calls? Is there anyway to get your name off their lists?

In Canada, we've got a fairly new "Do not call list" that telemarketers have to respect, or they get fined. So far, we've gotten a lot less calls....except for these electronic calls. They seem to be on the increase. Perhaps to circumvent the new list.

That was great! Too much time involved though...

I either hang up or ask them if they could hold for a second and then put
the receiver to the side until they hang up.

I have people calling me repeatedly about other people with a similar surname and initial.

I'm not interested in calling them to claim my innocence, while I've checked them out online as collectors.

I suppose the rest of you answer your phone, or, do you?

About 30 years ago, I did have something that went to collection - and may soon again - but don't remember the circumstance. I paid something way late, and then got the devil from hell phone calls. I remember talking to the person, Mr. Vile. Of course, it passed, since I had paid it. But I still think of those people as vipers.

Had a screenwriter/director friend (artists typically have up down incomes) who engaged the vile people. I swear, I'd now like a tape recording, he was good.

I feel sorry for telemarketers. It is really shitty, stressful work. I doubt anyone would really fancy such a job if they had a choice & weren't desperate.
It is not so hard (after establishing who is calling) to say that you are not at all interested in hearing about their product/service & to cut the conversation short. Last time I did that (very politely!) was last night.

Finally after all these years I can cheerfully disagree with you, Msolga. I have no obligation to be nice to anyone who rings loud in my house (while I might be working, and often have been, doing math, for example) in order to sell me something. Or perhaps sleeping.

I don't care whose son is making his way doing it to me and others with the phone spam. It's invasive and politeness is not required.

Finally after all these years I can cheerfully disagree with you, Msolga. I have no obligation to be nice to anyone who rings loud in my house (while I might be working, and often have been, doing math, for example) in order to sell me something. Or perhaps with me sleeping.

I don't care whose son is making his way doing it to me and others with the phone spam. It's invasive and politeness is not required.

Oh no, osso! Our very first disagreement!

But seriously though, why not throw shoes (or abuse, or something...) at the company they're representing, rather than the poor sods who have to do such wretched work for a living?

Yeah, well, I'll dispose of them politely if they'll let me. If they persist, I don't owe them a thing. Now, I realize they are not trained to take a polite no; that's their problem. They can be quite rude themselves, which doesn't make things a bit nicer for the next one to call.

I agree. I consider a telemarketing call an invasion of my privacy, and will not stand for them. I am on the "Do Not Call" list, but some of these people sneak through. I remind them that I am on the list, politely ask them to remove me from their lists, and hang up.

I know that some people need the telemarketing job in order to earn a living. I do not consider that my problem. Do you buy something that you don't want if the salesman is on commission, simply because the salesman needs the money?

I've found the best way to get rid of them forever is the following:

Telemarketer: Hello, is Blah Blah there?
Me: Who's calling, please?
Telemarketer: Company XYZ
Me: Oh, I'm sorry, but Blah Blah died 2 months ago and we're just clearing out his house.
Telemarketer: Oh, sorry! Thank you. <click>