@Roberta,
Hey ...
Remarkably - no itching at all this time. Have quite a large dressing which is completely sealed - there is heaps of bruising ... but not sore now and hopefully, when I have the stiches out on Friday and get the results - that will be that. Done and dusted.
Other ickybittybiddy bits itch now and then - worse in the cold weather - but completely bearable - no probs.
I'm a little worried about how I'm going to tell my parents about my impending foot surgery - knowing me, I will just blab it out at the most inappropriate time because I don't really want to tell them. I am going to have to ask for help with the little fella as I won't be able to drive - he will stay over at school for 2 nites a week so I need to figure out 5 school runs and just things like that. It's not so much telling my parents, it's just the "big depressing thing" they will make of it and the looks on their faces. I've decided not to tell anyone else - when I told my brother about my first biopsy he just said "if it's not one thing, it's another" <rolling his eyes up>...... gee thanks bro, and what, I don't know that! In fact - he hasn't asked me about the results even tho I saw him on Christmas Eve so I didn't tell any of them about the other biopsy. No point.
I'm not too good at asking for help either - I've had so many surgeries and my parents have been there for most of them, in days of old when we were a proper family - it's more the fact that I have to rely on them... and they look so sad (which drives me nuts).... no matter how jolly I am - they think I must be slightly mad to be seemingly positive. They are pretty negative people (not their fault - just the way things turned out with the family stuff and all). See... I know that I will ask someone else to take me to the hospital etc... Mom will want to do all the stuff - but, it's better for
me to have Tulip or another friend there. But then, I need their help with the kids and driving and just the physical stuff I won't be able to do for a couple months. Mom has this way, or I just feel, that I am being selfish or useless or something. Anyway, it's negative - so I cut myself off from it, the family and all that. I just do things differently to them now. They don't get me at all.
My PaPa can't cope with me being ill - he just can't. MaMa has to take over control of everything and just makes a big thing out of it all. That's her way. I prefer to just do day to day and not think too much about the future or what else is going to happen - but coz I'm on my own - the old folks want there to be someone to look after me blah blah blah... well, so do I at times - that would be nice - (BUT NOT MY PARENTS)- but, against their wishes, having an illness is not a good enough reason to stay married. So, I do have to listen to the "well, if you had just done this... and stayed married" scenario - ha.... that's just b*llocks.... and they know it!
Oh sorry......... this has turned into a bit of a rant - joints are playing up and tiredness is making me feel a bit grumpy - back to work tomorrow and it's gonna be a busy month before the surgery <not gonna feel guilty about work, not not not> Onwards and upwards.
Off to sort out little fellas room - furniture to move and Crimbo boxes to go in the loft. I CAN DO IT! I CAN!
