@Endymion,
Hey Lovelies
Well... what to say. So sorry you’ve been waiting " I’ve been trying to get my head around things. No BAD news for me per se (we don’t think) ... the biopsy (histology) results were not there (at the hospital) BUT the consultant is reasonably assured having removed the stitches that all that needed to be cut out, was. It’s healed well. He took a good look at my back, I also have these little bump like things on my hands that come and go.. they feel like burns... he is dx’ing discoid lupus, along with the SLE and RA. What a hodgepodge I am.
Anyhoo... even tho the results aren’t back, I am tending to think as he does, that this is another "lupus" kick in the bahookie (nasty nasty disease - hate it---- oh there's that H word, not used often).
He has prescribed me steroid cream " Elocon - (http://www.tiscali.co.uk/lifestyle/healthfitness/health_advice/netdoctor/archive/100000912.html) and talked to me about changing my drug regime if this worsens, to antimalarials (which I don’t really want to do as methotrexate appears to keeping me relatively under control). I've used plaquenil and antiM's before.... did not help me AT ALL. The rheumatologist said last week that even tho methotrexate is a cytoxic drug " he doesn’t believe it has caused this boundary break with SLE and DLE (just one of those things (damn immune system) " tho it is a drug which makes me photosensitive " but then again I don’t exactly sun-worship.
So.... along with moisturisers - diprobase and cetraben (which fortunately I can get on prescription), it should ease the symptoms. I must only use the steroid cream sparingly coz of the side effects " so, will give it a go. No idea HOW I am supposed to apply it to my back. How is that possible on my own? Mmmmmm. Hey ho!
I’m waiting to hear back from the dermatologist re the biopsy " should be phoning me within the next hour. I’m sure it will be fine tho. I am sure.
The not so good news.... but not BAD... is that I have to undergo surgery again late Jan/early Feb on my right foot.
ACK.
Cr*p body. Had more x-rays (neverending a?) which show my big toe is crossing over the TOP of my second toe causing me to limp and the pressure on the tendon, which affects my leg, which of course, we all knew. It’s very rare for this to happen " the twisting toe after MTP fusion - and my surgeon is pretty mortified " he does feel terrible that he didn’t shorten the big toe when the foot was fused but it's hard to guage the position when under a general anaesthetic " the toe is twisting and deformed..... we kinda knew this was on the cards coz I haven't been right since the surgery last Feb and now the twisting is worsening, so.... action plan...
Cut big toe in half below the IP joint (1st joint) " remove some of the bone to shorten the toe, then remove a wedge of bone, quick nip and tuck, staple the bones together and sew it all back together nice and neat, plaster the foot as before, for 6 weeks and.... hip hap hop " sorted. Amazing what they can do really.
I know, I am being a little flippant here, but I can’t think too much about the ack side of it " this is NOTHING like the previous 3 surgeries " he tells me it won’t be nearly as painful, again, it’s just the way this disease gets me. If Noddy were here she would be saying something really clever right now " so, I am trying to hold my dominion without her and trying be strong.
Actually, I don’t want to be strong. Thing is, I know I won’t tell anyone here family wise about it until after Christmas " but of course I have to tell my boss and colleagues tonite who are going to ask (work evening meal out tonite) " and she’s not going to be a happy Headteacher, no matter how supportive she has been as a friend. Nem’mind. Can’t do much about that.
Somehow again I have to figure what will happen to the little fella with my surgery, and ..... all the stuff that goes with being on my own here and having to rely on people (yuk) and not driving for 2 months. Of course, I will cope " tho no doubt I will be in the wee self-pity stakes at times. I cannot abide pain. Excuse me when I do that.
Perspective... yesterday in this tiny, tiny village we live in, the air ambulance was called. My neighbours best friend.... 45.... died, heart attack " gone, just like that " leaving 2 children " 7 and 10, leaving his wife in pieces and struggling to imagine how her life will go on. All too reminiscent of Tulip and January 26th, 2008. All too reminiscent. Just..... quite unbelievable. My neighbour is distraught, in shock. I didn’t know this chap " his name was Chris. Yet. Terribly sad. Perspective gained.
Thanku all for asking, sitting, waiting and being here. Y'all know how much you mean to me - you've got me through the last year - thank you.
<errrrrrrrrrr JES......... throw pillows.... that would be FAB.... pillow fight!>
