Man Almost Loses Penis Humping Steel Bench

NSFW Forums: Human Interest Stories, Hong Kong, Bench Sex
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Last night in Hong Kong, the police received a disturbing call from a man in trouble.

Xing, a 41 year-old man, was calling from LanTian park in the middle of the night. The lonely and disturbed man had apparently thought it would be fun to have sex with one of the steel sit-up benches around the park.

The bench has numerous small holes in it, which Xing used to attempt to satisfy himself. However, once he became aroused he found that he was stuck and could not get his penis out of the small hole.

He panicked and called the police to help him.

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Type: Discussion • Score: 15 • Views: 5,221 • Replies: 47

@Robert Gentel,

Xing knew something was wrong, with his dong, when he fucked a bench in Hong Kong.
And so goes the song.

1 Reply

Somebody had to get under that bench and grease it up to make it slide out.

0 Replies

So much for "use-it-or-lose-it"...

0 Replies

@Robert Gentel,

thats gross

0 Replies

Lord knows how many times I've said this, but it's worth repeating: No matter how much you love a metal situp bench, a metal situp bench will never love you back.

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Also, let's not forget what's really important here.

Who will care for the little bench baby possibly to be born nine months from now? A precious little bundle of steel with sprigs of dark hair sprouting from the top of its little head, face rusted with tears as it crawls the streets of Hong Kong?

1 Reply

@farmerman,

farmerman wrote:

Xing knew something was wrong, with his dong, when he fucked a bench in Hong Kong.
And so goes the song.

Xing knew something was wrong with his dong,
When he fucked a park bench in Hong Kong,
It got stuck in a hole,
When his sore willy swole,
Now it's featured in farcical song.

0 Replies

@Gargamel,

It will live in the jungle gym, and be raised by grizzled elder recliner. They will look for the chair necessities.

0 Replies

Clearly, this is a pork bench.

2 Replies

@blatham,

blatham wrote:

Clearly, this is a pork bench.

are you suggesting a Palin earmark?

1 Reply

@dyslexia,

Certainly not! Though your question does suggest that we ought to acknowledge this bench fellow as one more proud maverick.

1 Reply

@blatham,

blatham wrote:

Certainly not! Though your question does suggest that we ought to acknowledge this bench fellow as one more proud maverick.

The bench is also similar to Palin in that you can see right through it.

1 Reply

@Gargamel,

Gargamel wrote:

blatham wrote:

Certainly not! Though your question does suggest that we ought to acknowledge this bench fellow as one more proud maverick.

The bench is also similar to Palin in that you can see right through it.

now that's just cold.

1 Reply

@dyslexia,

You can put lipstick on a bench, but in the end it's still a bench.

0 Replies

um, i'd rather go blind.

0 Replies

What's the deal with the umbrella?

3 Replies

@jespah,

Was the guys nuts... or did he lose them too?

0 Replies

@Robert Gentel,

Why would a steel bench et him aroused? - wood, now that I can see. There's just no accounting for taste.

1 Reply

@JTT,

JTT wrote:

Why would a steel bench et him aroused? - wood, now that I can see. There's just no accounting for taste.

It's the holes, I think.

0 Replies

Man Almost Loses Penis Humping Steel Bench

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