Married 40 years, and now she finds out they arent married

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http://news.cincinnati.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080914/NEWS01/809140376/1168/NEWS&GID=TSN8dh8vMaPBakMywiBzalqESScr3ynjfjgX4gqpljM=

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Cynthia Heitz Abanto was putting together a scrapbook this summer to give her husband on their 40th anniversary next month.

That's when she learned they were never married.

She went through an Oct. 5, 1968, wedding ceremony in Cincinnati with her fiancé - J. Nelson Abanto - but was horrified when she realized she didn't have the wedding certificate.

That's because the priest who preformed the ceremony at St. Peter in Chains Cathedral, the Rev. Frances Kennedy - who later became Monsignor Kennedy - made a mistake.

"The church where they got married failed to send the papers to the court," said Julio Abanto, the 87-year-old father of J. Nelson Abanto.

The couple legally wasn't married because Kennedy didn't return the signed wedding certificate to Probate Court within 30 days after the ceremony as required by Ohio law.

All I can say is "OOPS".

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Type: Discussion • Score: 6 • Views: 2,779 • Replies: 10

[+3] - Phoenix32890 - 09/16/2008[color=#008000][b]Walter- That is wonderful. I wish that we had the same system in the US[/b].[/color]

@mysteryman,

My father had two birthdays, his real one, and his legal date. Apparently the midwife who was at the birth was pregnant herself. Therefore, when she got around to filing my dad's birth certificate, it was past the time that was required for submission. If she had filed the real date, she would have lost her midwife's license.

So.................my father had two birthdays, his real one, in December, and his legal date, in April of the following year.

1 Reply

Since weddings at churches here are just ceremonial services at churches (you get legally married only by a registrar at a registry office) - the separation of state and church has some advantages.

1 Reply

This happened to relatives of mine -- grandparents' generation, I think. They got married by a Rabbi whose family was coming over on the boat and arriving that day, so the guy was a lil distracted and, as in the lead story, failed to file the paperwork.

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@Walter Hinteler,

Walter- That is wonderful. I wish that we had the same system in the US.

2 Replies

@Phoenix32890,

In parts of Germany (those, which got the "code civil") this started between 1792 and 1808.
It became the only possibility to get legally married - in all parts of Germany - in 1875.

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I believe in Ohio common law marriages are recognized if created before 1990 or 1991? So chances are the couple is perfectly legal.

My older sister and brother-in-law married 3 times--3 separate marriage licenses--once when they eloped and were married by a judge; once when they were married in the Catholic church (absolutely necessary to keep his parents happy) and once in the Methodist church (absolutely necessary to keep our parents happy.) I don't think they ever knew which one would be legally designated their legal date of marriage. They were married just over 50 years when he died though.

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@Phoenix32890,

In Scandinavia you can choose between a civil service or a church service - I think just like in USA. If a priest/pastor can make a mistake so can a civil servant.
The trouble with a binding civil service and the wish of a church blessing afterwards means two parties - one smaller and one bigger.

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@saab,

saab wrote:

The trouble with a binding civil service and the wish of a church blessing afterwards means two parties - one smaller and one bigger.

That has never been a problem here.
Actually, THE really big party usually is the wedding-eve party, usually the weekend before the marriage.

Weddings at the registry are more for co-workers, friends - for those who have a wedding in the church as well (only about 30 to 40% have church weddings, I guess.).
And many have the "two weddings" on the same day.

1 Reply

@Phoenix32890,

Hah! My daughter has two birthdays too. The midwife made a mistake on the form. We had an out-of-country vacation planned and needed to get Ducklet a passport. There was no time to correct it.

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@Walter Hinteler,

I think the situation is the same in Italy, Walter, re civil ceremonies (might be wrong).

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Married 40 years, and now she finds out they arent married

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