Crucifixion

Cecil B. Demille was reincarnated according to Shirley MacLaine and he scripted the whole thing.
The studio, however, stepped in to re-edited as Cecil had Christ join a circus and die in a train wreck. They studio bosses didn't think that was believable for a general audience. Were they right?

LW, get a grip ... they didn't have a circus back then.

Not even a train? Is that not believable? Maybe I'm off the track.

Oh theyhad trains....but no tracks..... something about hanging nads or chads.

Trains came with the accidental discovery of the steam engine by Menachen.....I forget hislast name ..he was trying to perfect a method of pressure cooking matza balls .....but thats another story

I always thought that Marie Antoinette came up with the train idea. I know she was kicking it around. You might say she stumbled onto it. Poor thing, that same train followed her all the way to the gilloutine. Then she knew she had lost her head over the whole thing.

Back to the ranch, JC should have high-tailed it out of there when he discovered he had been betrayed. I mean when your dining out with twelve other people and getting pie eyed on cheap wine, that's no excuse for not avoiding those inept Italian soldiers. You could see those Centurions from a mile aways with that red brush thing on their helmet. If I'd been him, I would have been on a train to Egypt. He could have given a repeat performance of that parting of the Reed Sea or summoned frogs or some other nice plague. After all, Moses got away with it without being crucified.

(And thereby hangs a tale).

(I guess JC wasn't scary enough without the big hair and huge staff like Moses).

...JC planned on booking after that last supper gig but he met this girl there ... Alice, Alice B. Toklas ..... time flew and before he knew it here was this rooster crowing ..........a knock on the door ....... busted for ..... what did he get busted for?

The crucifixion did not need to be scripted since any necessary revisions to the story could be made by the early church.

No one needed to die for anyone else's sins. If God cannot forgive us for being human without killing someone first, he is a pretty poor excuse for a diety.

Hi Terry!!! .... so the killing of christ was 'wag the dog'?

excuse me sir, i only have one nail left, could you please cross your legs.

Hey, the crucifixion wa really a publicity stunt to try and stave off the death of hair-metal.

Look Joseph, I can see your house from here!

If the second coming actually did occur and a rabii appeared claiming he was the son of god, would we crucify him. No, we'd likely put him away in an institution. Or he'd perform a few miracles and get a prime time show to make something dissapear as a big finale -- maybe David Copperfield?