@CalamityJane,
Sorry to stick this in here, and sorry if I offend anyone, but remember; my mother is german.
Who said the Germans have no sense of humour?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband is in
hospital.
A man walks into a bar.
He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.
Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?
She was clinically depressed because of her terribly
low self-esteem.
What do you call a cat with no tail?
A manx cat.
Why do undertakers wear ties?
Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their
appearance has a degree of gravitas.
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
One.
Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.
Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?
Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell
pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest.
Doctor, I've broken my leg.
I'm afraid it is a very bad break. You will never walk again.
There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman and they are all
trapped in a jail cell.
Eventually they all starved to death.
Did you hear about the Irishman found under a shop?
He was killed and buried there. It was gang-related.
What's the difference between a rottwieller and a poodle?
There are many differences. They are two totally different breeds of
dog.
What do you get if you cross a horse and a donkey?
A mule.
