Neverending Novel

plunged into the forbidding abyss.

In the interim, Tryagain was agape at the hole he'd drilled thru the sauna wall for his cochlear implant. He thought he heard the beagle yelp Happiness is a Warm Gun but was unsure as the beagle never pronounced his haitches. Mother Superior Jumped the Gun playing in the background, Tryagain went for his pocket, it was all over everything in seconds. Eschewing the garden path Wandel and Moksha wandered towards the back entrance where Tryagain seemed to be obsessed with an abscess or nonesuch, stuck in a hole, he couldn't get out of ...

FIRST RULE OF HOLES: Stop digging and start filling to get out of the hole!
Stop digging is the obvious action, and the first rule of holes, if you're stuck in a hole, especially a hole you've dug yourself! However, in this case it now became obvious why Slippy left her poll dancing class early, carrying a soil extraction implement. The trap having been set, it was ridiculously easy to lure the poor trusting sap with the words, "Is this outfit too revealing?" Unfortunately, Try never did get around to part two of the escape plan. The rest as they say; is history.

Until that is, Slippy was gripped with remorse and…

handed Try a large shovel to start backfilling as quickly as he could.

Slippy called in the Mother Superior, and having confessed all, he repented the error of his ways. The Great Escape Part II was in the making. Moshka was so enlightened, Slippy was so brightened, the hole was filling in, but another black hole was appearing in the universe and heading their way.

The Motorway Way of this Hole was "hairless". It's mass, angular momentum and electric charge was forming and Slippy felt electromagnetically repulsed by Moshka. Moshka began spinning rapidly, spinning faster as she put her arms around her body.

She starting crying "I want to go home, there's no place like home" (with Beezle-the-Injured-but-not-dead Beagle" in her arms.) Moshka realised she was falling into the Black Hole, and as she spun faster, and her ruby slippers went flying, she looked for a wormhole to crawl into, but the tidal force spaghettified her brain.

She called out again "please, someone help me" and in the distance - she heard the words of a great Magician "Why, anybody can have a brain. That's a very mediocre commodity. Every pusillanimous creature that crawls on the Earth or slinks through slimy seas has a brain. Back where I come from in Oz, we have universities, seats of great learning, where men go to become great thinkers. And when they come out, they think deep thoughts and with no more brains than you have. But they have one thing you haven't got: a diploma!"

Poor Moshka fell to her knees, her head was still spinning. She…

...tried to remember what Stephen Hawkings said about black holes. She wished she had paid attention in physics class instead of...

making a habit of annoying the nuns, working out how to sneak out at nite and practising how to "Climb Every Mountain" with the Mother Superior whilst listening to Eminem thru her headphones.

Had she paid more attention she would no doubt be able to find her way out of the hole she now found herself in and all would be calm.

This, however, was not to be and suddenly, quite unexpectedly, a ....

As Lzzie was fond of saying: The armless ambidextrian was lighting a match between his great and second toe, and Ralph the lion was engaged in biting the neck of Madame Sossman while the drum pointed, and Teeny was about to cough in waltz-time swinging Jocko by the thumb, quite unexpectedly the top blew off:

And there, there overhead, there, there hung over those thousands of white faces, those dazed eyes, there in the starless dark, the poise, the hover, there with vast wings across the cancelled skies, there in the sudden blackness the black hole of nothing, nothing, nothing -- nothing at all.

Except…

A tiny white light.... a little star .... and tho, oh so tiny, the star was shining, shining brightly, the nuclear fusion in its core started to release a shine to the thousands of white faces, lighting their way with an energy which radiatiated into the black hole.

The helium which was being created inside the core of this beautiful star made Moshka feel a little dizzy, the pitch of her voice raised, and Moshka-Minne-Mouse laughed at the sound that came out when she said "Teeny, get off my damn toe - I can't find one ruby slipper, and if you stand on my toes any longer - I shall have to find a new dance partner".

Teeny, distraught at the high and shrill tone from Moshka's, slunk off to the dark side and ....

And thought; the very life inside this mechanized mockery of a body relies on the raw power of the dark side. She could not be without Moshka's blessing, so she set off to join Wandel.

She looked out into the forest spread out beneath the landing platform, her back to Slippy. She ignited her light-sabre, its green glow filling the corridor. Smooth action, nice gyroscopic response.

Slippy always end up fiddling around with gadgets whenever somebody says something that makes her feel uncomfortable. "I see you have constructed a new light-sabre," She said, retracting the blade and turning the handle over in her hands. "Your skills are complete. Indeed you are powerful as Lzzie has foreseen."

She turned away, her feelings threatening Wandel's composure and the stability of his left leg, before…

...Wandel could realize what was happening. Teeny took the light saber and...

Handed it to Slippy, and said

"May The Farce Be With You. Go forward with Wandel and find your way"

Slippy, anxious, but knowing Wandel was by her side, headed off the landing deck towards Wistmans Wood on Dartmoor. Slippy thought that this strange and twisted woodland, thought to be one of the few remnants of ancient woodland dating from prehistoric times, would rekindle her memories of times long forgotten and happier days. She remembered the feelings of enchantment she had when she had visited the wood as a little girl. It was like a walk in the otherworld.

However, she also remembered the folklore of the wood that Lzzie had told her about, that the wood was haunted by a pack of Yeth hounds. This worried Slippy a little as she feared that Beezle The Beagle would be sniffed out and the Yeths may start their wild hunt across the moorland in search of her and Wandel. She was aware that the Yeths follow their master, who may be the Devil TryAgain aka Darth Tryanus aka Count Dooku, Odin, or any number of spectral huntsmen on the search for souls across the moorlands. She had to remain vigilant. Having explained this folklore to Wandel, his shaky leg shook more, so much so that she thought he was practising his tap-dancing routine from the Kismet Casino.

Wandel promised Slippy he would look after her and Beezle. Slippy did not see the little glint in his eye.

Nervously, Wandel looked around the woods looking for the jet-black Yeth Dogs snorting fire from their nostrils.

Slippy still had the light sabre, held by her waist in her Gucci belt clip, her finger on the ignition button. All she could hear was the hum of the sabre, Wandels leg shaking as they stomped and shuffled through the undergrowth into the depths of the woods, and another sound….she couldn't quite make out what it was…. But it sounded like a horse drawn coach with the clatter of horses hooves - where was it coming from? It sounded as tho is was getting closer…. And closer…. Slippy ran to Wandel and cried "Oh Wandel, what's happening, there's someone coming"

Wandel replied "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. I'm a little tired of constantly rescuing you. I've always thought a good lashing with a buggy whip would benefit you immensely. I'm not asking you to forgive me. I'll never understand or forgive myself. And if a Yeth gets me, so help me, I'll laugh at myself for being an idiot. There's one thing I do know... and that is that I love you, Slippy. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you! Tryanus be damned. I can't help my feelings."

Wandel grabbed Slippy, and as Slippy suddenly realised that tho Wandel loved her, he had in fact been masquerading - he was one of Tryanus stool pigeons all along.

Her knee came up and she shouted "Turn me loose, you varmint, and get out of here!" Wandel fell to his knees and Slippy ran, she ran so fast, losing her other ruby slipper, but holding on tightly to Beezle the Beagle, who was still in her arms.

It was dark and cold, she knew not what to do. She….

...decided from now on she would rely on herself rather than depending on men with selfish intentions. Just then...

she felt the hand on her shoulder.

"Wake up, it's time to go to work", the voice said.

Life in a vice den is not all it's cracked up to be, except for Saturdays; because that is the day…

that Slippy didn't have to worry about her vices. Saturdays at work were MOVIE days - so Slippy went to Blockbuster and hired her favourite Disney Movie - "Beauty and the Beast" - for everyone in the den to enjoy. She cracked a smile as she thought of ...

Forbes magazine rich list is wrong, this is ridiculous Beyonce has more than that; you now look at her ass it costs more than Madonas and Beyonce has sex at least once a day, now you figure it out.

Everyone knows Madonna has more than $300 million. Britney is worth more than what they had and people like Halle Barry, Whoopie Goldberg, and Beyonce weren't on it because they didn't have a clue what their net worth was. Until…

the rains came

and their makeup ran - so KISS snapped then to join their new tour.

kisses so much

as yesterday's hero who had always been a bit of an inaugurant, complete ...