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Santa Claus is coming to town -- for 34 microseconds

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Walter Hinteler
 
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 01:56 am
Quote:
Santa Claus is coming to town -- for 34 microseconds
Source


http://i8.tinypic.com/6pqy348.jpg
Source: Dagens Nyheter, 01.12.07, page 60
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Type: Discussion • Score: 0 • Views: 1,047 • Replies: 18
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Bohne
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 04:47 am
This is way too theoretical...

Don't you know that christmas is the time when things are just a little magical???
0 Replies
 
Joe Nation
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 05:16 am
It's just that sometimes engineers drink too much.
And sometimes physicists drink too much.

And sometimes they drink too much in the same bar and one of them says

"Hey, if this Santa Claus guy has to ... ."

Joe(By 3AM they have all the potentialities mapped out and a huge time/velocity/weight/volume/mass formula written out on a bar napkin.)Nation
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 05:21 am
Quote:
Between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, Santa Claus's route around the planet includes stops at 2.5 billion homes, assuming that children of all religions receive a present from the jolly man in the red suit....


See, here's the problem right here. Take out the kids of other faiths and atheist children and you've cut the number by potentially half.
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Francis
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 06:51 am
Joe Nation wrote:
It's just that sometimes engineers drink too much.
And sometimes physicists drink too much.

And sometimes they drink too much in the same bar and one of them says

"Hey, if this Santa Claus guy has to ... ."


Thomas wrote:
For some of us, crunching numbers.... isn't an effort to be justified. It's fun!
0 Replies
 
Bi-Polar Bear
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 06:52 am
I'd say Santa moves pretty quick for a big guy..... props
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Francis
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 06:54 am
jespah wrote:
Take out the kids of other faiths and atheist children and you've cut the number by potentially half.


Ok, then Santa will stay 68 microseconds.

Is it any better?
0 Replies
 
dadpad
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 07:11 am
When Santa gets to Oz he has to take time out to change the reindeer over to Boomers.

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a40/dadpad/6whiteboomers.jpg
0 Replies
 
username
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 07:32 am
What's all this "take out the atheist children" stuff? We believe in real people like Santa, we just don't believe in imaginary ones like a god.
0 Replies
 
Steve 41oo
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 07:58 am
Who is this S Clause person anyway?
0 Replies
 
dadpad
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 08:04 am
Steve 41oo wrote:
Who is this S Clause person anyway?


A figment of coca colas marketing departments imagination.
0 Replies
 
username
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 08:42 am
Besides, it's clear he doesn't have to work all that fast. I mean, just look at the facts. Santa's a time traveller. For the month before Christmas, he's present in every mall in America, ALL AT THE SAME TIME. How could he do that unless he had a time machine and just kept looping back on himself? Same with Christmas. He's got all the rest of the year to get the mallwork and presenting in. It's just one loop back after another.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 06:29 pm
You mean Santa's changed the laws of physics? Someone should tell Scotty.

http://www.badmovies.org/tvshows/startrek/scotty.jpg
0 Replies
 
dadpad
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Dec, 2007 11:52 pm
username wrote:
Besides, it's clear he doesn't have to work all that fast. I mean, just look at the facts. Santa's a time traveller. For the month before Christmas, he's present in every mall in America, ALL AT THE SAME TIME. How could he do that unless he had a time machine and just kept looping back on himself? Same with Christmas. He's got all the rest of the year to get the mallwork and presenting in. It's just one loop back after another.


No no no. silly person!
Rolling Eyes
The mall santas are santa helpers. Except for 1. The real santa does mall work around the world and you never really know whether its the real santa or a santa helper. Every 6 year old knows that.

Rolling Eyes

Santa helpers have to go to santa school.
0 Replies
 
roger
 
  1  
Reply Wed 5 Dec, 2007 12:34 am
I kind of like that thought, username.
0 Replies
 
Walter Hinteler
 
  1  
Reply Wed 5 Dec, 2007 01:07 am
Actually Santa Claus is coming on December 6.
And since he can't be everywhere at the same time, he delegates his job sometimes to a father or an uncle. Nowadays quite often to personal from the jobcenters as well.

At christmas, the Christkind ("Christ Child") is coming.
A fact. Like the Immaculate Conception.


Everything else is pseudo-science.
0 Replies
 
dagmaraka
 
  1  
Reply Wed 5 Dec, 2007 01:09 am
of course the transportation is magic!

http://www.taterbot.com/uploads/images/santa.jpg
0 Replies
 
Francis
 
  1  
Reply Wed 5 Dec, 2007 02:50 am
Rudolph the red arsed gay-deer,

Had a very shiny arse,

and if you ever saw it,

You would even say it's Mars.
0 Replies
 
Endymion
 
  1  
Reply Wed 5 Dec, 2007 05:07 am
dadpad wrote:
Steve 41oo wrote:
Who is this S Clause person anyway?


A figment of coca colas marketing departments imagination.


Satan's Claws!
A symbol of human greed and sugar addiction!

Actually i can't think of a more grotesque humanoid figure
The fat, red-faced, pedophile (let's face it, he's obsessed with children) creeps into kids rooms at night with presents and sweets - and they're expected to take them - from a stranger, I might add -
He sits kids on his knee and asks them what they want mum and dad to spend their money on this christmas - (in shopping malls all over the country of course).

eeeeughr

F*ck Off Santa - you pimp

okay, so i never had 'Christmas' as a kid, so i might be a bit bias on this - but i still think he's a very suspicious character indeed - and not just because his name is an anagram of Satan (although it doesn't help).
0 Replies
 
 

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