My parents abuse me?

Reply Sat 3 Nov, 2007 05:24 am
I am 22 and ill graduate this comming april as an IT web development student am a hard working person although my circumstanses am living in is so bad.

My life was never been fair since my childhood, It does not give satisfaction,It's never right, There is always a blank, And you have to fill in the blank. Life no matter how you treat it; Never has it become fair. If you do the right thing, Those who do not will accuse you of being untrue. If you are straight, You will surely hurt those who are not. If you do it professionally, The unprofessional will ruin your life; And liar is their accusation.

I am the eldest between my siblings. i just carried this burden on my chest from my mum. i had tried to cover up for eight years on such an inappropriate this which my own mother was doing who is suppose to be my role model in life. I am sick of the emotional, psychological, and verbal abuse. What do I do? I have no money,no job, no friends its all because of my family they destroyed me.
it has always been like this, Throughout my childhood and teen years, they treated me badly, they used to fight infront of me and punish me for nothing. I never had support from their side in my studies or my health. I Do have siblings and relatives close by but everyone wouldnt care about the other, I need to get away from my parents, get a job and support so I can move away - from this abuse.

inspite of all that i am an A student and have achieved so many in my education life.I would want to be an active worker in any far region and develop oneself and the community, I also want to gain foreign experience and looking forward of becoming part of the loving community anywhere far from my parents.

I consider couple of countries but not realy sure which one will be suggested from the side of what kind of law supports me ,incase my family find out where I am and tried to force me back although am an adult of 22yrs old!
how could that countrie's law serve me ((by being an imigrant or non-citizen or foriegner?!))

I need your help and suggstion plz .....
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Reply Sat 3 Nov, 2007 06:00 am
Welcome first of all..

and my first question, which will help everyone give you suggestions is what country are you living in now?

My first thought was if you could go to some kind of shelter/ half way house.
Those generally take anyone over the age of 18 in, and have programs in place to help you find a job, get some food and help, and show you how to start living on your own.
If the shelter you find does not have all of that, they DO have a list of other places and what they offer. THey can always steer you in the right direction..

Is it possible to find a job where you are, and start saving money ?
Or do your parents take all of your money?
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Holding on
Reply Sat 3 Nov, 2007 06:20 am
Thanks for replying me . . .

to answer your Question's , I m from the middle east .

we dont have such things in our country and I have no othe option other than leaving this place....and about money I dont get pocket money from my parents , but sometimes I ask i do get money but very limited and also by getting questioned about it million time...although I managed to save a bit and will be saving till april , when i will be donE, and head out of here as soon as i got my Uni certificate in hand...

But the Question is now what country is the best to move to ?in sence of laws like what country law should support me as an imigrant or non citizen

......waiting for replies
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Reply Sat 3 Nov, 2007 06:29 am
What sort of support are you looking for? If you are legally in a western country, then you can expect to be treated the same under the law as any citizen. But as far as I know, you wouldn't qualify for welfare/social security support of any kind until after a significant qualifying period. In Australia for example, you become eligible for the national health care system from the time you submit an application for permanent residency. It takes two years from submission until the grant of a permanent visa, at which time you become eligible for the same welfare support as any resident. As an IT professional, you'd probably have a reasonable chance of gaining an employment visa here, because we suffer from a large skills shortage.
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Holding on
Reply Sat 3 Nov, 2007 06:49 am
thanks Wilso ,

i was thinking of Europe mostly UK , i do know that if i get a residence visa
i have almost the same rights or support as a citizen

that as you said will take 2 years and i do know that permanent or residence visa does take time.

i want to know which country can support me
as an immigrant when i reach the country for example
if one of my family member find out where i am and come to force me back home
how would the law support me as a non citizen!
would they be able to put a stop and for example tell my family or my embassy,that i am an adult and i stay where ever i chose to stay!!!

and then I got to have a job of course,at the same time work for a residence visa....cause i guess most probably i will be going on a visit visa and try to get sponsored by a company and work ASAP....
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Reply Sat 3 Nov, 2007 07:52 am
The law should not have to force you or help you as a non citizen because you are of legal age all over the world right now.
They can not force you to go back home.
It is your choice at this point.

They can report you to agencies to try to make you leave a country , yes.
But they can not make you go back home.
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Reply Sat 3 Nov, 2007 08:11 am
Holding on--

Welcome to A2K.

Most countries will deny entry to immigrants who have no way of supporting themselves.

This undoubtedly seems cruel to you, but their own citizens come first.

What has your family planned for you when you finish University?
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Reply Sat 3 Nov, 2007 06:12 pm
Are you male or female? Is religion a factor?
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Reply Sat 3 Nov, 2007 06:51 pm
I'm wondering what you find abusive about your parents. Not enough spending money?
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Reply Mon 12 Nov, 2007 06:58 pm
Roger, I love that avatar you have. Quite a handsome little mouse.

Should I put my two cents in on this string? Sure why not?

Abuse? I have had plenty of abuse to qualify for the Postal Employee of the Year Award, but how did I survive? How did I get here?

I learned one important thing about it all (took about a half century to figure it all out)......Running away from it only leads one into more and more abuse in one form or another. My mother held me at gun point....and so did my husband (x). What I am trying to say is.....I don't rightly know. But, I no longer run away or seek another place. I am in my place now and I will fight for it!!!! I have great peace and enjoy my solitude, but I have never become bitter. When we run away, sometimes it is a form of surrendering to abuse and bullying that will follow us where ever we go in life. Ever feel like there is a sign on your forehead? Yeah....that feeling.

I know this is not much help, but sometimes what we think of as abuse is nothing compared to what CAN come our way.

I may delete this later...

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