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Wed 9 Aug, 2006 06:30 am
On Amazon, All of a Sudden Everyone's a Milk Critic
By TOM ZELLER Jr.
The New York Times
August 9, 2006
Few sites have given customer product reviews more prominence than Amazon.com. But how much can one possibly say about ... milk?
Apparently a fair bit -- particularly if the aim is to subvert the spirit of customer reviews in the service of Internet high jinks. Such appears to be the explanation behind hundreds of reviews at Amazon.com for a $3.99 gallon of Tuscan-brand whole milk.
"I give this Tuscan milk four stars simply because I found the consistency a little too 'milk-like' for my tastes," wrote one snarky user.
Another, upping the absurdist ante, wrote: "One word of caution -- milk, even when frozen into a baseball-bat shape, is nigh worthless as a baseball bat, merely shattering into cloudy fragments at the first strike of a baseball."
And yesterday: "Tuscan Whole Milk ruined my life," a user wrote. "I have no further details to add."
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/08/09/technology/09milk.html
I heard that Tuscan Whole Milk kidnapped Tom Cruise's baby and that's why nobody has seen her yet.
Re: Milk Reviews on Amazon.com
I looked up the web page:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00032G1S0
I like this one:
Quote:178 of 191 people found the following review helpful:
[one star out of five] Not good for roof leaks, August 4, 2006
Reviewer: VR (Albuquerque, NM) - See all my reviews
I had a problem where my roof was leaking. I poured some Tuscan Whole Milk over it to seal it up and it just flowed right into the hole and didn't do anything. I now have milk constantly dripping down from the ceiling and it has stained the drywall as well. The milk trapped in the ceiling is now rancid and smells horrible. It has also induced a pest infestation problem. The pest control company won't deal with it because of the odor is unbearable in the house. My wife and children are now leaving me as well. This product has ruined my life. Do not buy this product, I suggest some roof caulking or tar instead.
Re: Milk Reviews on Amazon.com
Three more good ones:
Horrible service, I bought my milk and went with the 7-9 day super saver shipping method and it arrived warm and curdled. What the hell?
and
This milk was so good, I passed out. When I woke up 3 weeks later, apes ruled the earth. It was crazy. DRINK THIS MILK!
and
Unfortunately, after a terrible night's sleep, I have concluded that this product is not suitable for use as a pillow.
Milk used to make me fart and then suddenly, it didn't make me fart.
Amazing.
I developed lactose intolerance in my 30's. If my children misbehaved in the car--I would lock the electric windows and fart--and it was so foul, they would scream, bang on the windows, and accuse me of child abuse.
I must say, pew.
I miss cereal. I tried Lactaid and Soy Milk--but it makes my tummy hurt and makes me fart most foul.
Milk has ruined my life.
~The preceding is a true testimony.
HA ha that is too funny. I love "Internet high jinks"
Quote:Milk makes me fart.
I think this is info that I don't need just now.
May I excuse myself, and now log-off?
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