I'm doing this due to an ever-increasing number of requests made on several threads about my life. For some reason, unknown to me, I've become a bit of a curiousity. I know the quote about 15 minutes of fame, mine will probably be much shorter.
Yes, I admit it honestly. I am a 55 year old, pre-operative transexual woman and have been on hormone therapy replacement (HRT to you men, most adult women know that term.) for over 4 1/2 years. There, satisfied? LOL I've been a woman since 1999, when I changed that and my name legally. I'm the first woman member of the US Army Pathfinder Association.
I did all of this since leaving my second wife of 20 years. The divorce was interesting, but not with surprising outcome. Fortunately, I hadn't changed my name yet. I spent over two years in counseling, sometimes as many as three sessions a week with my gender therapist and two to three times a week with VA Counselors!
Getting rid of all the anger, mostly at myself for trying to be someone I wasn't , was wonderful!! No more lies, no more trying to live up to people's expectations. Oh, sure there were minor problems and I have lost friends and family, but adopted family and new friends have filled in most of the bare spots well. I have even accepted that some will NEVER understand. That's okay, as long as they leave their issues when we meet. If they don't like that part of me, I don't care as long as they don't make it an issue. Then, the velvet gloves come off.
Actually, I've known I was different since the age of five, when I learn that wearing my sister's clothing and saying, "I'm a girl." was punishable by having the bristles of a hairbrush applied with force to my bare bottom. From then on I denied it to everyone , even trying to deny it to myself. I learned to dress when the family was away for more than a few hours.
I was number three in birth order, the "troublemaker" according to some child psychologists. I had an older brother and sister. There were also three younger sibllings . My parents divorced, remarried, and divorced again by the time was 12. My older brother left home at 15 to live with Dad, after that, leaving me in a role I didn't want...eldest brother.
When Mom remarried three years later, I found myself having to deal with a macho, abusive stepdad. Mom delivered another sister, shortly after they married and a set of twin boys. My oldest sister left a year after that marriage, leaving me to care for the now six younger brothers and sister, run an 130 acre farm by myself and go to high school.
Mom was a great enabler and went to the taverns to drive my stepdad home. Once home, he'd yell and beat me for anything he thought was a problem, housework not being done, barn not cleaned, etc. Often, I took beatings to prevent his attacking my younger siblings. I had been slapped, hit with closed fists and kicked with steel-toed boots, resulting in broken ribs. I even had a "britching strap" from a horse harness used as a whip on my bare back, one hot spring day. It left me sore and badly bruised for weeks. Even now, there is residual mucle memory that makes me jump, if touched in this area.
Shortly after he shot my dog for killing a cow, I decided to run away. The dog had run out of food a week before and I'd fed it oatmeal and cornmeal mush, since he wouldn't get any dog food. So, fed up with the physical and emotional abuse, I packed my few belongings into a packpack and started walking.
After walking about 1/2 to 3/4 mile, I heard thunder. Funny, the sky was clear and it was in the 70's. I looked up and saw a thunderbeing that told me, "Go home and take care of the People." Thinking thhis to mean my family, I got home just before the folks returned from town.
My folks never took much interest in my school activities, unless they interfered with work at home. I was surprised to find that they allowed me to take a part in my senior class play, "The Importance of being Ernest." I played the old vicor, Dr Chasible. Of course, they missed opening night and the other nights, because the allure of alcohol was stronger than seeing me on stage. This happened on the night of my high school graduation as well, probably a good thing. I graduated at age 17, in 1966.
I attended a semester of university, but was ready to lose my student status for bad grades, so dropped out and looked for work for a month and an half. Not finding anything, I enlisted into the US Army paratroopers, hoping to join our Special Forces. I ended up in a Special Warfare unit called the Pathfinders.
I was in Vietnam from Oct, 1967 to Oct, 1968 as a Pathfinder,with a 12 minute life expectancy. I served with the 9th Infantry Division, the First Brigade (Separate) of the 101st Airborne Division and later the 101st Airmobile Division. I am also an honorary member of the Royal Thai Special Forces. It was the worse year of that war. After returning Stateside, I attended the US Army Northern Warfare School (parachuting into Ft Greely Alaska from a C-5A jet, into bright sunlight and -20F) and the 82nd Airborne Division's Raider (Recondo) School, under duress!
I've been married twice, totaling 28 years. Three grown children from my first marriage have resulted in seven grandchildren. I'm not allowed to see or contact them, by my children's request. I respect their wishes as adults (chronologically, anyway), but dislike the discrimination because of my lifestyle.
I have a BS in Vocational Rehabilitation, am only six credits shy of another in Psychology and have a major concerntration in Creative Arts (a combination of theatre and studio arts) I worked in these as well as many other fields, including law enforcement and rail roading. I'm presently on full disability from military service and am kept busy with the
spiritual work that we do. However,I'm not anyone special, just me.
I'm Lakota and live in a small community on an Ojibiwa rez. I live with my partner Sam, our three sled dogs, six cats and whatever is residing between the ceiling and the roof.
I'm interested in saving and defending the environment. I'm active in Human Rights issues and have even given a few presentations to school classes and other groups, regarding being transgender. I'm also very aactive within my Native American community
I'm a Vietnam Combat Veteran and am a life member of the , US Pathfinder Association, DAV and the 9th Infantry Society "The Old Reliables", I just joined the 101st Airborne "Screaming Eagles" Association, belong to AMVETS and veterans issues. Lastly, I'm reconnecting with my old service friends via email and telephone. Does that make me a militant lady?
I'm slow to get anger but when I do, watch out. Usually, I'm finding things to laugh about. Dad said it best over 45 years ago, "If it's not fun, something's wrong." I try hard to live up to that.
For those that might want to see some pictures of me, Sam and some of our projects, please go to
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/b2feathers1948/myphotos.
