One "Perfect" Day

One other thing though is that these days it's hardly ever the case that nearest and dearest would be able to just walk or drive over to the chapel from their houses. We had a very modest wedding in Madison, WI, but maybe 1/4 of the invitees actually lived there. Neither of us had any family that lived in Madison, many good friends were from high school and had never lived there or had become friends in Madison but had since moved away, etc., etc. So there was still airfare and hotel even for that little non-destination wedding.

Since that's quite common, it's not a HUGE step from there to, well, if people are going to be traveling anyway, maybe make it someplace nice, someplace they'd want to travel to on their own for a vacation, since they typically have to be there for at least two days and the wedding itself only makes up a portion of that time...

I still think Hawaii and such are a bit much (Florida --> Madison costs maybe $200 for airfare, Florida --> Hawaii is more like $800, and if it's a family...), but I think that context helps explain where it all comes from a bit.

Yeah, that kinda makes sense as re the original background of it..

I guess its different, I mean, in that I dont think people here in Europe would fly across the continent for a wedding anyway unless it was immediate family or a best friend..

... though now with budget airlines it has become a lot easier, of course. You even have all these gangs of Brits doing their stag night here in Hungary.

(...but then thats also just cause its actually cheaper to do your stag night in Budapest than to do it in London...)

I also think that you just dont have families and best friends scattered across thousands of miles here much, despite all the intra-EU migrating. Except for what really is a small professional/academic/trendsetting elite. Most of those who do go abroad do it as a student, I think, and return home after graduation..

Plus, isnt there still a big difference between flying on your own accord to a wedding and going to this destination kind of thing, practically speaking? I mean, if Id go to a wedding of a friend in another country, Id arrange some accomodation with an acquaintance or something there, or bunk down in a cheap hotel. Whereas here, I mean, doesnt this kind of "destination wedding" tend to take place in grand locations? With a full program of accompanying activities an' all?

I dunno, I guess if people are wealthy enough anyway it doesnt matter much..

I'll admit that I have always had this fantasy that one day, when I win the lottery big time, I will invite everyone who's meant a lot to me to some grand place for the weekend... but then I'd be paying, of course, otherwise I still think it's just rude. Plus, it only really works if its like a lottery win or something, cause I wouldnt ever spent that much of money I actually worked hard for ...

(It would help if I actually started playing the lottery, of course..)

Also, yeah, its great as a fantasy, but I dont think Id do it in the end. I mean, if you think what kind of things could be done with that amount of money... I dont think I could do it. (Must be my Calvinist Dutch roots )

Heh, I know what you mean...

Yeah, a lot of our friends stayed with other mutual friends rather than doing the hotel, and a lot of people drove (especially the sizable Minnesota contingent).

I don't think it's universal in America -- when I lived in L.A., there were a lot of people who'd lived there their whole lives and had no plans to move, and those were just-drive-there weddings, with hardly any out-of-town guests. But I think the phenomenon of moving around a fair amount and then settling pretty far away from where you started (and where extended family tend to be) is more common here than in other countries.

Many weddings I go to serve as family gatherings -- that was certainly the case with E.G.'s family and our wedding. They wanted to come see us get married, yes, but they also were overdue to get together en masse and that was definitely a factor. That family is itself spread all over the place, and they love to get everyone together when they can.

well, i only nearly got married, but the wedding idea itself was one of the reasons that made me flee.

He's from Bangalore, like Sakhi. I was told that a SMALL wedding party is about 600 people. His father was a pastor, so the whole of his whatsit, community, would have to come...So it would be in the thousands. Plus there would have to be church and all sorts of religious crap I could not envision whatsoever. I chickened out rather quickly.